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I have found a house, at long last. Right price, albeit at the top of my range considering the changes to make. Great location, great neighborhood.
Now that I know they are going to accept my offer, I am scared. Is this the right one? The living area is too small. Too many rooms for the square footage (hence the small living area and kitchen). Still, the LR is adequate, if only on the small side. And a lovely, quality home well-maintained. Great yard. Fully fenced.
Called and got homeowner's ins quote - it was less than I thought, so fine.
Why am I so scared? Does everyone go through this?
(It doesn't help that my father is sad I'm not moving to his city...I couldn't find anything there after looking off and on for months. The housing market there is horrible...ugly houses in my price range, flooding everywhere, hurricane zone, not many areas that are nice that are not high crime and don't flood. So I feel guilt...he wants me to continue looking.)
Is this the one? It's a little too large for me, but I have to buy from what's available. I can't wait for "perfect." It's been almost a year that I've been looking.
How is it "the one" when you you need to make changes (though it is lovely, quality, and well-maintained) - you don't like the small rooms and it is only "adequate"? ...even though it's in a great location? You sound very divided and like you're settling due to how long you've been looking.
I think the key to happiness in life is to stop looking for "the one". It puts far too much expectation on a house (or a job or a dog or a wedding dress--all things that people often tell themselves need to be "the one").
Focus instead on finding houses, jobs, dogs, wedding dresses, etc. that have most of the characteristics you want, everything you really need, and that you feel you can live with. It sounds like you've done that, so you have a good fit and the right place for you.
Will it need some alterations over time? Of course, as do all things that are worth having. And it's in that process that you really start to bond, and when you will start to feel you have found the right one. Maybe not THE one (because I don't believe there really is such a thing), but a GOOD one that makes you happy.
Also, home buying is exhausting and it's a big decision. It's normal to need a little recovery time. Going through a little bit of buyer's remorse is a normal part of that process.
It's a house. It's a place to shelter you from weather, provide protection, store food, raise a family (maybe), hopefully have a little fun, and fingers crossed, make a bit of money. Stop looking for "the one". You're not getting married to it. You're not pledging your life and soul to it in front of God & state. It's a piece of property with some walls, electricity, roof, and plumbing. It's expensive, yes, but you can always move or make changes to it later. Ever seen the somewhat unrealistic shows on HGTV?
Stop worrying about it being perfect. Is it big enough for your family? Do you like it (not necessarily love it)? Is it in decent condition with no major problems? Is it in an area you want (consider crime, schools, etc.)? Can you afford it without becoming totally house poor? Is it reasonably priced for what it is and the area? If all those things are true, which it seems like they are, then don't be afraid to pull the trigger.
OP, buying a new home is scary! We moved last year after being in our home for 10 years which was the longest I have EVER been in the same home. It's 10 months later and I know we made the right choice to move but it's still a little scary because it's so new.
How do you know it's the right home? You just know! You can see yourself living there, you can picture your things there, you get initially excited! The scary feeling will become excitement again once you close the loan. To me, even though you say it's the smallest home in the neighbor hood, you also said it's a lot of room for you, so it sounds perfect.
As far as your dad is concerned, don't feel guilty. You have to do what's right for you. Make sure your dad knows that you will still seem him regularly and all will be fine. Good luck!
I knew our fixer was the one when we got the deal of a lifetime. Don't make buying a house an emotional decision. It is a business decision and the numbers must comply.
I have found a house, at long last. Right price, albeit at the top of my range considering the changes to make. Great location, great neighborhood.
Now that I know they are going to accept my offer, I am scared. Is this the right one? The living area is too small. Too many rooms for the square footage (hence the small living area and kitchen). Still, the LR is adequate, if only on the small side. And a lovely, quality home well-maintained. Great yard. Fully fenced.
Called and got homeowner's ins quote - it was less than I thought, so fine.
Why am I so scared? Does everyone go through this?
(It doesn't help that my father is sad I'm not moving to his city...I couldn't find anything there after looking off and on for months. The housing market there is horrible...ugly houses in my price range, flooding everywhere, hurricane zone, not many areas that are nice that are not high crime and don't flood. So I feel guilt...he wants me to continue looking.)
Is this the one? It's a little too large for me, but I have to buy from what's available. I can't wait for "perfect." It's been almost a year that I've been looking.
Happens to me when i make big ticket purchases- "should I have bought it? Can i cancel the order?"
Probably you too are facing the same.
Only move forward. You mention buying the smallest home on the street. That to me is an awesome move if you can pull it off. Your dad can always visit and you can always visit him.
We looked around for specifics that we wanted in our life. A home is part of your lifestyle. We bought an older home because they have front and back yards and we spend a lot of time outside. Because of cost, newer places here are on much smaller lots or for the most part are patio homes, town homes, or condos. We wanted an actual single family home on a 6,000 square foot lot, which is the norm around here. Our home needed work and we were willing to work to get it the way we wanted. We are still working on it after 6 + years. We have no plans to move or ever sell the house. I figure in 4 years it will be just the way we want it.
Your feelings and situation sound very much like the last time my parents bought a house. I was a teenager and still living with them, so very involved in the process, and like you we looked for over a year then finally settled for a house that was pretty much adequate for our needs and a very good financial deal. My mom had immediate buyer's remorse because it really just wasn't what she wanted, and over time we all came to hate living there. The layout didn't suit our lifestyle and the neighborhood was a bad fit for us. It got bad enough they sold it at a slim profit after the crash because it was just miserable living there.
The house I just got was a totally opposite experience. I loved it from the moment I walked in, even though it didn't meet several of my major "wants". I wanted a detached house with 2.5 baths and this is an attached house with 1.5 baths. So it's not "perfect", but for sacrificing those two wants I got THE best neighborhood in my entire region for my personal lifestyle and a five-bedroom house with a perfect layout right in the middle of my price range. I never had a single moment of regret or buyer's remorse through the whole process (except a few moments of cursing narrow Victorian staircases while moving in, lol--but one of my no-compromise needs was a Victorian house, so I was kind of expecting that).
The thing that made me know this was "the one" was how effortlessly I could envision us living here from the very beginning. The layout, the neighborhood, the yard, the parking, I could see how perfectly my family and all my things would fit in here instantly.
So, OP, can you see yourself and your family living in this house easily and happily? If not, I'd honestly withdraw the offer and keep looking. Layout is hard to change and location is impossible to change, so don't make the mistake my parents did and "settle" for something that won't make you happy in the long run.
When we were first time buyers, we learned very quickly what we could and couldn't afford. In our price range, the choices were either old, small single family houses with only one bathroom or a 2 level townhouse with no basement. We ended up going with the latter. After seeing many pre-existing homes that were 6 or 7 years old but in poor condition and needing work, we were getting discouraged. It was a sellers market at the time so landlords were looking to dump their rental properties.. We saw far too many houses that despite their ages, needed a lot of work. We ended up with a new build. It was 2 towns away, which for us was disappointing because the apartment we were living in had nearby public transportation and the new town had none.
During our search, we quickly realized that we couldn't be too picky. So all we asked for was a house with 1 1/2 bathrooms. With the new build, we got that and since it was new, we didn't have to invest any money in repairs.
Ten years later, we were ready to trade up. Our daughter was in school at the time and we wanted to keep her in the same school. As luck would have it, there was a new community being built and she wouldn't have had to change schools. I was happy to have the cheapest model as it more than met our needs. However my husband and daughter wanted the second cheapest model, so I agreed to it. This community was being built by the same builder who did our starter home and we got a discount on the price for the new one as a result. The home has served us well for almost 20 years. While there are a few things that I wish were different, it's not something I dwell on.
Now we're planning to downsize. We have our eye on a city where we want to live and have seen a condo building that caught our eye. When we're ready to buy, we'll finally look at some units to see if we like them.
OP---I once read an article where it said that even multi-millionaires don't get everything on their wish lists when they look to buy. That surprised me as I figured at their price points they could get it all!
1. Can you afford it? Buying means you commit to paying for it.
2. Does it have good bones? Good foundation, plumbing, roof, no rot.
3. In a good neighborhood? You don't want to buy in an area that will turn into a slum. Most of the homes need to be owner-occupied, not rentals.
The rest of it is just remodel/repair/upgrades. Figure 2% of the purchase price per year for putting your personality on it. Moving walls, a new kitchen new bathrooms, finish upgrades take time, but if you plan carefully you will end up with exactly what you want.
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