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You're right, I am demanding, if me and my wife are going to drop $150 and up in a place, the service should be on par with the quality of the food being served. It's like ordering a steak rare and having it come out well-done, because the cook forgot that the meat continues to cook after removing it from the flame. Oh, the horror, it's demanding and waay too much work for the server when the patron expects water to be filled in their glass before it reach's empty. I've had good service and excellent service and tip accordingly, if the service is poor but for reasons beyond the server's control (believe me, that will be readily apparent) then they will get an average tip. In the event the server is a natural sourpuss who looks upon patrons with disdain for no reason then they will get a below average tip - usually 8-10% sends a message. IMHO, I think a dime is much too harsh and praising a server while leaving no tip is akin to a below the belt sucker punch, while giving them a kiss.
This is why I don't like the gratuity automatically added to the check. I feel the customer should be able to determine whether or not a tip was deserved in the first place and for how much.
I've always been a generous tipper, whether it's barbers, cab driver's, furinture mover's or bartenders, I tend to overtip. However, if I have a bad experience--a really bad haircut because they didn't listen, mover's who break your stuff, or rude waitresses or bartenders, then I have no problem either scaling the tip down to somewhere below 10% or not giving one at all. Just depends on the situation.
I find that people who always claim of poor service are usually the kind of demanding and over-bearing people for which nothing is good enough. Same for men who always complain of women in relationships and people who always seem to encounter children who are devils.
That is probably true for people who always complain. I have known a few people like that. But, I have had some real bad service and tip accordingly. Im have always been more judgemental of service than any of my dates because I have worked as a server.
Most people are saying the way he treats his mother/family tells so much about the guy. Well my husband must be a really bad person then!
In a service situation, you KNOW they are getting treated very nicely by the person, so they should respond nicely. With thier family, who knows what their past is? So imo, you can't give a completely educated judgement based on that.
I agree with you, babeechick. My husband and I are very good tippers. I'm wary of people who treat service people badly. Of course if the service is horrible and the waiter/waitress is rude, then yes it's justified, but I've only had that happen 2 or 3 times in my life. Otherwise I over tip (according to most people).
Most people are saying the way he treats his mother/family tells so much about the guy. Well my husband must be a really bad person then!
Of course there are exceptions
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In a service situation, you KNOW they are getting treated very nicely by the person, so they should respond nicely.
Says who? I've had some really crappy service and I've had great service. Same with dates/relationships.
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With thier family, who knows what their past is? So imo, you can't give a completely educated judgement based on that.
A person probably has had little more interaction with family than waitstaff. My mother certainly didn't win any "mother of the year" accolades but I show respect to her. Even if they don't have the greatest relationship, how one handles it speaks volumes of their character.
I give credit and respect to those who work in the industry. I could not do it.......well, I could but I would get fired ALOT!! Hats off to you!
I find that people who always claim of poor service are usually the kind of demanding and over-bearing people for which nothing is good enough. Same for men who always complain of women in relationships and people who always seem to encounter children who are devils.
I've actually felt sorry for a waitress and upped my tip because of a bad customer who you knew was going to stiff her. I think everyone around thought he was an *ss. Definitely not someone you would want to associate with.
There have been two instances where I didn't leave a tip. One was when they told me after everyone was finished eating that they were out of what I ordered, instead of when they brought the meals. I would have left a tip had they done so, but she didn't come back until about the time to pick up plates.
The other time was when I was with a bunch of teens and the waitress was just plain rude to everyone. True, we were a big group with individual orders, but her attitude was just bad. The kids left her 50 pennies, spelling out "TIP." Contrast that to another restaurant in the same chain where the waitress was harried by the size of our group, but offered great service. They added the tip to the bill and many of the kids left an additional tip on the tables.
Believe it or not, there are guides about how to tip in the US, many of which are easily accessible online. They typically say 18-20%.
OK, I checked online and found that the norm is between 15%-20% (pre-tax).
Most of the people I know, including myself & my husband calculate tip (after tax), which just proves that there is no consensus and it is subjective. I understand the value of tipping and of good service (I myself worked HS summers at a restaurant at the South Street Seaport). I also tip my son's school crossing guard and give gifts to our postman. Does that necessarily make me a better person than someone who doesn't? I personally don't think so.
I grew up with parents with money who translated what they perceived as someone's lack of generosity as an indictment on their overall worth & character. They were the most incredibly judgmental people and it was sad.
From my personal experience, the amount of money someone spends does not translate to good or bad character. It is definitely a personality trait and that person may be incompatible with you, but it does not mean that they are good or bad people. A person's behavior towards those he works for, those that work for him, elderly, children, family speaks volumes and is a much better indicator.
I completely agree with the point of the OP. I had the same thing happen except that it was a woman from work who I dated quite a few times. She was very moody and often rude to waiters and waitresses when we would go to a restaurant or a bar. In fact it was embarassing to be with her when she acted that way because I've always been friendly and I also leave a good tip. The IRS has some kind of a policy for certain occupations which just assumes that they're going to make a certain amount of money on tips and taxes them for it whether they actually make that much or not. I'm not quite sure how it works but these jobs can be very frustrating when the customer is a jerk and you're working as hard as you can.
I read once that when you go on a first date you should pay attention to how your date, male or female, treats the waitstaff, because that's exactly how they will treat you in six months.
I think this is a valid observation.
I think if you can't afford the tip you can't afford the meal. On the other hand, for decades the standard for tipping has been 15%. I don't see any reason to pay more, unless it's for unusually good service. You may say that the waiter's cost of living has gone up in that time, but so has the cost of meals and drinks, so even without tipping a higher percentage they're getting a bigger tip.
Of course, I've tipped more, and on one occasion I tipped little or nothing for egregiously bad service.
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it's demanding and waay too much work for the server when the patron expects water to be filled in their glass before it reach's empty. 
I've had good service and excellent service and tip accordingly, if the service is poor but for reasons beyond the server's control (believe me, that will be readily apparent) then they will get an average tip. In the event the server is a natural sourpuss who looks upon patrons with disdain for no reason then they will get a below average tip - usually 8-10% sends a message. IMHO, I think a dime is much too harsh and praising a server while leaving no tip is akin to a below the belt sucker punch, while giving them a kiss. 
I could not do it.......well, I could but I would get fired ALOT!! 
