Women who think they own you because they bear your child (movies, single)
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I realize this was not directed at me but I'll answer for me. You chose to have a child with a woman you chose not to commit to. What does that say about your relationship and view of children/family? Why you chose to not commit to the relationship first is a ligitimate question. I think if you get to the heart of that, you'll find the source of your difficulties now.
This could be as much you looking for a way out of a relationship you never thought worth committing to as it could be her pushing to see if you are committed. That question should have been answered before the stick turned blue. Adding hormones and an impending birth only complicates things.
As I said, it is now too late for marriage. Marriage now is only for the sake of the child. Now you will have to prove you are committed and likely prove it over and over and over. She's already been burned once by a sperm donor who turned out to be a loser. It's only natural she'd test to see if you're one too. She's in a similar situation as before. About to be an unmarried mom for the second time. I'd guess she's scared, wondering what she got herself into and worried it's going to turn out the same way it did the first time.
My prediction is you two are not together in 18 months. Do post back and let me know if I'm wrong. Who is at fault is irrelvent. That's the direction you are headed.
Press control+F and type in "Commit". Repeat the exercise with "'Marriage" and "married".
You should stop banging your head on that wall. She does not believe in marriage anymore than I do. Why would she be worried of my lack of "commitment"?
And how are married men more commited than unmarried men? How does marital status make a person more commited, except in belief? Married people cheat. Married people divorce, a lot. Married people drink. Married people beat their wives. Married people...are people. Not some magical creatures full of virtue.
Your argument about commitment is bogus, even moreso when she herself thinks that marriage is an illusion. You're wasting your time here.
To be fair, you are the only person who "made s**t up" on this thread - the quotes you manufactured and attributed to me.
You disagree with what IvortyTickler has to say, and that is fair enough. But you need to be a little more mature about expressing your disagreement. Your situation is subject to interpretation and that is the point of all of us posting on this thread. We are not all going to interpret things in the same way.
Reread what you snipped.
That person has been assuming assumes my gf got dumped and that she's afraid because we're not married.
That's pure fantasy. But I guess it doesn't matter when it goes hand in hand with your own preconceptions.
p.s. calling someone a loser and obsessing about marriage when in fact, I stated we both reject that tradition, is not very mature either.
Oh and before I head off, the best way to commit to someone is to never ever take them for granted. Getting married often does just the opposite. I'm sure people would have more success in their relationships if they took care of their body than getting married. Nowadays, looks will keep your partner happier than some silly ring. That's just an example, there is more to life than looks.
But it goes to show you how marriage is an outdated form of commitment. It provides a false sense of security and the only difference is financial constraints which can lead to even more lying.
That person has been assuming assumes my gf got dumped and that she's afraid because we're not married.
That's pure fantasy. But I guess it doesn't matter when it goes hand in hand with your own preconceptions.
p.s. calling someone a loser and obsessing about marriage when in fact, I stated we both reject that tradition, is not very mature either.
My opinion has nothing to do with IvoryTickler's opinion. IvoryTickler would probably find my opinions on this topic offensive, to tell you the truth. I only wanted to note that it is unfair of you to accuse people of making things up when you yourself blatantly did so on this very thread... I only noticed what you said to IvoryT since the only fiction on this thread was written about me.
I suspect you keep insisting on lumping us together because you don't like our posts. I in fact 100% disagree with her assessment of your situation. There is nothing in post #25 I'd cosign; I disagree with the whole thing.
I called you a loser? If you quote me on that I would happy to apologize. That doesn't sound like me, and honestly I haven't seen anything in your posts which would make me think you are a loser. I just see a guy who doesn't understand women, I would guess due to youth and/or changing societal norms.
Preganancy does throw some women off hormonally but sounds to me like she has lost a level of respect for you somewhere down the line. I can't imagine after five years, she would just take to acting like some crazed woman and hormones aren't all to blame for her treatment of you.
She is carrying her second child and I'm sure she is stressed about the future. Perhaps she is testing you to see if you are the man who can handle the pressures of a relationship and two kids.
I would first suggest empathizing with her situation. You still care for her and want to be with her. Talk to her...not at her. Don't buy her gifts because that is saying "here, just take this and shut up about it".....face your issues head on and find out what's going on. That's the only way you will find out the root of this situation. Good luck!
This is what happens when you put the cart before the horse.
My one-fiftieth of a dollar will probably tick a lot of people off, but here goes.
Many years ago, my mother said something to me that makes a lot of sense: There's really no need to get married unless you want children.
It's that last part--"unless you want children"--that counts.
Look, personally, I'm not a huge fan of marriage. Been there, done that, paid the attorney.
But this whole thread illustrates exactly what happens when people make the huge commitment of having a child together without first making the huge commitment of marriage to each other.
Yes, getting married is never a guarantee of staying married. However, happily married parents are going to give a child an advantage, in that such an arrangement provides a sense of security for the child. If you--and I mean both you and your girlfriend--aren't responsible and mature enough to see that, good luck raising a kid. At the rate you're both going, your kid is going to grow up to be a bitter little prune.
Sorry to say it buddy but it looks like you're stuck with her for life. You don't and shouldn't have to stay together for the kids if you don't get along. You will have to find a way to be civil with each other for the sake of the children. They are the most important thing right now. You chose to have a child with her now you're going to have to be responsible.
Dude, why in heck did you even agree to do this? You're obviously NOT committed to her, if you're considering leaving when the pregnancy can be the cause of her new nasty attitude. YOU did this to her.
Once again, why did you even agree to do something so stupid?
Press control+F and type in "Commit". Repeat the exercise with "'Marriage" and "married".
You should stop banging your head on that wall. She does not believe in marriage anymore than I do. Why would she be worried of my lack of "commitment"?
And how are married men more commited than unmarried men? How does marital status make a person more commited, except in belief? Married people cheat. Married people divorce, a lot. Married people drink. Married people beat their wives. Married people...are people. Not some magical creatures full of virtue.
Your argument about commitment is bogus, even moreso when she herself thinks that marriage is an illusion. You're wasting your time here.
Then you shouldn't be having a problem, should you?
My guess is she's suffering from dejavu. Daddy #1 turned out to be a louse. Daddy #2 hasn't done anything to prove he isn't the same. Nothing is different this time. She has no reason to expect different results.
She's having a baby on her own and she knows it.
No, married people are not magical creatures full of vitue but they have made a committment. A committment would be different than what daddy #1 did. Is it a guarantee? Nope. But it's different and reason to believe this situation is different.
From where I sit, you're just a guy who knocked up a girl who is looking for an excuse to leave. For all we know, you're simply reading too much into what she's saying. Maybe this is just hormones. But you are already packing. Hopefully, she'll do better with daddy #3 but I doubt it. It looks like history repeats itself for her. Whether she's the problem or she just chooses guys wrong doesn't matter. She was a single mom to one when you met her and she'll be a single mom to two in short order.
Why people have babies in non committed relationships is beyond me. Children are an 18 year committment. You're tied to her for the next 18 years wheter you like it or not. At least financially.
Sadly, I haven't heard much concern about the baby from you. You're more concerned with yourself and how she's slighting you. Have you considered how leaving will affect YOUR CHILD? You may think she's done you wrong here but that baby did no wrong. You owe it to your child to give him/her a stable home if at all possible.
I'm still betting you'll split up within 18 months. Do post back and let me know if I'm right.
Sorry to say it buddy but it looks like you're stuck with her for life. You don't and shouldn't have to stay together for the kids if you don't get along. You will have to find a way to be civil with each other for the sake of the children. They are the most important thing right now. You chose to have a child with her now you're going to have to be responsible.
Well said.
I find it strange that people who won't commit to a realtionship will commit to having children together which, legally, binds you for the next 18 years.
Seriously, that could be the heart of the problem here. The realization that they are stuck with each other for the next 18 years. Maybe the relationship was just better when they knew they could up and leave at any time. Now that they're stuck, he's starting to see things he didn't before. Maybe she is too. It's happened before.
Whatever, the honeymoon is over. Hopefully, they can find a way to be civil until this child is raised.
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This is what happens when you put the cart before the horse.
Well said. 
