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I need some theories on this - why do men who have such a negative view of women still continue to date them? In general when a guy sleeps around, uses women, and shows very little interest in them - he is considered a stud. But I know from personal experience that it usually means something is a little off with the guy. And when I say little, I mean a lot.
Recently this guy at work has been showing some interest in me. He's handsome, mysterious, he goes out of his way to be nice. But then I heard through the grape vine some tid bits about his sexual history, including that he has a history of using women for sex and even said he slept with one girl because he "didn't have a blow up doll". If that's not misogyny, I don't know what is.
Needless to say, I am now avoiding him like the plague. He may have the physical features to attract a girl, but he's butt ugly in my book.
So, back to my point: what motivates these men? The guy I work with is very masculine, but many speculate he may secretly be gay. I have no problem with homosexuality, I have many friends who are gay. But if he is, why is he putting all these women through so much torture if he knows he can never really like them?
There are lots of screwed up people in this world. Your job is to enjoy your life and stay sane. That means protect your heart and keeping your mind clear for productive, life-enhancing concepts. Don't even clutter your mind with wondering about him; who cares what his story is? You have already made the decision not to deal with him.
You really need to form your own opinions and learn how to trust your own instincts. For all you know these co-workers may have an axe to grind. For every misogynist, there is a misandrist out there. I'm sure some of our resident misandrists will be chiming in with what a selfish pig this guy is, which only helps drive my point home.
Sometimes you have to consider the source of this gossip and what the motives are. How credible are these people.
I need some theories on this - why do men who have such a negative view of women still continue to date them? In general when a guy sleeps around, uses women, and shows very little interest in them - he is considered a stud. But I know from personal experience that it usually means something is a little off with the guy. And when I say little, I mean a lot.
Recently this guy at work has been showing some interest in me. He's handsome, mysterious, he goes out of his way to be nice. But then I heard through the grape vine some tid bits about his sexual history, including that he has a history of using women for sex and even said he slept with one girl because he "didn't have a blow up doll". If that's not misogyny, I don't know what is.
Needless to say, I am now avoiding him like the plague. He may have the physical features to attract a girl, but he's butt ugly in my book.
So, back to my point: what motivates these men? The guy I work with is very masculine, but many speculate he may secretly be gay. I have no problem with homosexuality, I have many friends who are gay. But if he is, why is he putting all these women through so much torture if he knows he can never really like them?
Thoughts?
IF what is said is true, and IF this man really is a womanizing pig;
There are many gay men and straight/gay women that suffer from Hysterical personality disorder. Also, aside HPD, NPB (Narcissism) is more common in straight men and women. They are closely related, both relvolve around shallowness, self absorbed, and need for attention. The HPD is usually a more sexually-charged attention seeking disorder while narcissim is more broad but can also be sexual tendencies.
You may know all of this already.
I guess where I am going with this; he MAY be putting these women through this because of his OWN insecurities stemming from a childhood incident, inappropriate upbringing, or several other factors. He was so torn-down that now these types will spend the rest of their days tearing others down to make themselves feel better. HPDs do this by attracting as much inappropriate sexual attention as possible to themselves, almost as though they are a star in a movie. NPD are usually less dramatic or "living life through a movie" but are equally as manipulative, abusive, or even sexually engaging etc.
Bottom line: he may be gay and if that is the case , chances are he is simply on a rampage feeding his empty ego because that is the only response he learned from whatever demons in his past allow.
But then I heard through the grape vine some tid bits about his sexual history, including that he has a history of using women for sex and even said he slept with one girl because he "didn't have a blow up doll". If that's not misogyny, I don't know what is.
Because a guy is horny and wants to get laid does not mean he's a misogynist. I have had sex with girls I didn't really want to pursue a relationship with. It was casual and no big deal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllAboutEve
So, back to my point: what motivates these men? The guy I work with is very masculine, but many speculate he may secretly be gay.
Don't you and your gossipy co-workers have something more interesting to talk about? If he is banging women left and right I sincerely doubt that he is gay.
There are lots of screwed up people in this world. Your job is to enjoy your life and stay sane. That means protect your heart and keeping your mind clear for productive, life-enhancing concepts. Don't even clutter your mind with wondering about him; who cares what his story is? You have already made the decision not to deal with him.
I think I need a sticky . I have explained this many times. The more casual the sexual environment, the less male bonding can exist; and like any system, it has degrees. In some cases its indifference, but it can lead all the way up to hatred. Sometimes we have over active immune systems too.
Male bonding with promiscuous women is a major reproductive threat to men. They must be repulsed in some way. Yet ironically there is more sexual pleasure involved and I have explained why that is. Apparently in his sexual environment this is the case.
That sounds like bad office gossiping. You should stay out of this. I usually leave conversations involving anyone that is not present.
Why would womanizing = gay?
Or mysogynist for that matter?
Just because he had no respect for one girl doesn't mean he hates women. I know some girls who probably think that I wasn't respectful to them because I had no interest in doing anything else than sex with them and I know some girls who walked right over me and considered me like nothing more than another dildoh when I was the one interested in a serious relationship.
The only "situation" at work is the one that you and your coworkers are making out of personal matters. Gossiping can backfire on those who do it. I've seen it and in the ccurent state of the economy, most employers won't hesitate to terminate you.
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