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I think it has more to do with her controlling behavior than one of trust. You may not trust someone however, you do not need to go to the degrading measures she has to let it be known. She is acting irrational and he puts up with her crap for some reason.
I love my husband and we have been together for many years, I do trust him but I am not foolish to think he could NEVER stray. I simply don't have the talent to tell the future. So until something happens to change it, we do our best to love and respect each other everyday.
My sister's husband is a control freak like this. He'll check her phone and calls her constantly when she's not with him. She's convinced herself that it means that he loves her so much. It makes me sad, but it's her life.
I trusted my wife implicitly. Never a doubt in my mind. She chose to cheat. When I confronted her, she lied. I still trusted her; better said, I wanted to trust and believe in her. Enough evidence surfaced where it was obvious. Even the neighbors knew. At this point all I can say is trust, but verify. If you prefer, trust in everyone, but always cut the deck.
I was talking to a psychiatrist friend of mine over lunch yesterday about this very thing and he told me there is no such thing as absolute, 100% trust.
100% trust in a relationship.....is it unrealistic??
In all of my romantic relationships, I've trusted my men 100% to be faithful to me... and I was never ever let down. When I date a man, I need to be sure that he is a person of integrity. I would never be with a man that I didn't trust 100%. I would also never date a player or someone sketchy.
That said, I am also a very strong person, and I would never fall apart if a romantic relationship suddenly completely fell apart. While I do enjoy being in a relationship, my personal space and independence is very important to me. And I don't depend on my man for all of my emotional needs or for validation. So yes, I trust my man 100% but I'm also not going to have a breakdown if our relationship falls apart. My man compliments my life, it doesn't complete it. I am a whole person without him.
So I was arguing with a good friend of mine who has her man on a VERY short leash. She has free reign of his phone so whenever she asks for it, he has to hand it over so she can review his texts and call logs. She took away his boys nights out and to make sure he doesn't pull a fast one on her, she has him bring her his weekly work schedule, time sheets from work and a copy of his paycheck so as to reflect his hours worked that way he won't alter the work schedule or time stamp to say he was really at work when he wasn't. If his time sheet reflects 80hrs worked, his paycheck better show that as well lol. There's a girl at his work that she suspects might have a thing for him, so he's not allowed to work with her. If they DO get scheduled together, he has to switch his schedule so as to not work with her. She has access to his MySpace, Facebook and email accounts so she can look at them whenever she wants.
We were arguing because I told her if she has to go through the extent of doing all those things to keep her bf in line, then they don't need to be together because obviously there's no trust between them. Her response? "You can't ever really trust anyone 100%"
Now, while I DO think that statement is true in regards to life in general (because let's be real, there ARE people that we come across in life that we can't trust as far as we can throw), I DO NOT think that statement applies to a relationship.
Shouldn't two people who are in a relationship be able to trust eachother 100%? I say yes. Am I being unrealistic?
I trusted my wife 100% and vice-versa. If my SO isn't straight with me or I start uncovering untruths etc. then they are likely gone.
You should be able to trust the one you're with, but doing so doesn't mean you should have unlimited access to them or everything about them. That is not how one proves they are trustworthy.
You should also not remove a man's testicles without consent and anesthesia. Your friend is a b*tch. I'd also be willing to bet she isn't as trustworthy as she expects him to be.
I was talking to a psychiatrist friend of mine over lunch yesterday about this very thing and he told me there is no such thing as absolute, 100% trust.
I can pretty much tell you that if you'd hooked me up to a million volts where I'd be electrocuted and the person that did it would have zero repercussions or they themselves would be killed if they didn't do it....I can name 3 people at least in my life that I *know* would take their own life instead of mine.
What's the old cold war slogan? "Trust, but verify."? I'll go with that. Trust 99.999%, but once in awhile, verify, especially if something seems a bit off. Wouldn't you just hate to be one of those people who wake up one day to find their bank account empty and their spouse gone, when hindsight shows that the warning signs were there for years?
You should be able to trust the one you're with, but doing so doesn't mean you should have unlimited access to them or everything about them. That is not how one proves they are trustworthy.
You should also not remove a man's testicles without consent and anesthesia. Your friend is a b*tch. I'd also be willing to bet she isn't as trustworthy as she expects him to be.
I find that people that are constantly worried about being cheated (in whatever way) are generally people that have been:
1) hurt badly\repeatedly by others and have developed trust issues.
2) are people that tend to be dishonest and so suspect others of acting the same way.
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100% trust in a relationship.....is it unrealistic??
