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I will preface this by saying that this has all happened within the past 24 hours. My mind is still pretty much in a blur, so I do apologize in advance if this rambles a bit.
My bf and I have been together for about 4 1/2 years, and live about 100 miles away from each other. We see each other almost every weekend, and this works for the moment.
Next week, we are (were?) set to go to his family reunion, about 1000 miles away. I have pretty much planned on this for the past 3 years, and gave work my notice of these days off at the beginning of this year. It's in a rural location, and we will be staying with about 7 other people in one of his relative's cabins. Before we head off, I have to take an extremely important 2 hour exam. This was a minor hiccup in our plans, but we have worked around it.
Now to the major hiccup...About 7 weeks ago, I found a puppy. Being the kind soul (or sap?) that I am, I took the little guy in. He's been a handful at times, but really is a good little companion for me. Since this happened, we've pretty much planned on taking the little addition with us on this vacation. And, honestly, I am the type of person who will go out of her way to make SURE that he's not a hassle for others. I've been camping with dogs before, and I've had dogs that have been around lots of other people before. Not a huge deal, right? Well, I didn't think so until last night...
I called my bf, and ended up speaking with his brother. (BIG mistake.) He got this attitude that I knew nothing about dogs (because, you know, even though this is MY first puppy, the fact that I have been around dogs all my life means NOTHING ). And he began to mention that because my puppy was not "trained", he would basically not be welcome on this trip. No, wait, actually, he said that my dog would be MORE than welcome to stay tied to a stake outside the cabin at night. To my credit (HA HA), I did explain to him that we would have a crate for him, and that should he be disruptive to others in the cabin in the evenings, I would be MORE than happy to put him in the crate in the back of someone's car. No biggie, really. Frankly, he'll be so over-stimulated and will be running around with my bf's dog (who is more than welcome, btw) I don't even foresee this being an issue, but better to be prepared, right? Then he started going on about how if *I* bring a dog, everyone else will want to bring their dog the next time. This is a RURAL area, people will be in campers...it's catered to dogs, IMIO.
Anyway, this conversation went on for FAR longer than it should have, before I got back on the phone with my bf, at which point I gave him an earful. Through my tears, I told him what his brother had said, and mentioned that I found it quite offensive, especially coming from someone who used to let his dog out to roam the neighborhood before it was stolen. In thinking about it, I was WAY meaner than I would ever be in this sort of context. I mean, I KNOW how highly regarded family is in my bf's eyes, and I don't like to be like *that* (hope that makes sense...).
At that point, we hung up, and I was reeling. Seriously? One week before we're supposed to leave, I'm told that my puppy is not welcome? This subject couldn't have been broached 7 weeks ago? And, is there no consideration for the exam I need to take in a week?
About an hour or so later, I get a call from him. From what he said, he had it out with his brother. Of course, he's upset about that, but frankly, at that moment, I was more concerned with my situation. What got him more than anything else during this conversation, I think, was the fact that I was so "matter-of-fact" in my responses to him. When he told me how much of a burden the puppy would be, I had clear, reasonable responses. But, what REALLY got to me was when he started on about how I'm there to "meet his family" and I should be known as the "gf", not the "gf with the dog". Really? This little guy, for better or worse, is part of my life now, and if it really was such an issue, shouldn't this have been brought up weeks ago?
He ended up offering to pay for the boarding fees. Aside from the fact that I don't think that a puppy of four months should be boarded for a week, if at all possible, I honestly don't want to be spending my VACATION thinking about how the pup would really have enjoyed it, but for some silly people....
So, there's where we stand. We ended the conversation with the requisite "I'll speak to you, maybe".
I am, needless to say, devestated at this point. I actually took the day off today, due to my total lack of sleep last night. I *did* take the pooch for his previously-scheduled rabies shot this morning though. (Scheduled just right so that he could travel with us...funny, eh?)
I am going to call him tonight, but I needed to vent before I did. I do understand that by posting here, I open myself up for certain comments like "he's not into you" and the like, but I have no problem ignoring those at this point. I will not ask if I'm being unreasonable, because I already know the answer to that.
My bottom line at this point is that I will go on this vacation, as it has been planned. If my puppy is truly not welcome, then I'll have to come up with plan B for my vaca. It just seems absolutely outrageous to me that *this* would be a potential breaking point...
OK, I will preface this by saying I'm not a pet lover. You're going to stay at some people's cabin. It wasn't clear from your post, but if the owners of the cabin don't want pets inside, they have every right not to. I also don't understand what the big deal is. That's what kennels are for.
OK, I will preface this by saying I'm not a pet lover. You're going to stay at some people's cabin. It wasn't clear from your post, but if the owners of the cabin don't want pets inside, they have every right not to. I also don't understand what the big deal is. That's what kennels are for.
Your boyfriend is trying.You said he had it out, FOR YOU with his BROTHER. His brother sounds like the jerk. So, are you going to stay mad at YOUR BOYFRIEND for his BROTHER being a jerk?
I think you should post this on the dog forum. You're likely to get better more sympathetic replies.
I must say however that I think it was nice for him to offer to pay for the boarding fees. I don't think any harm is going to come to your dog for 1 week while he stays in boarding.
You are a guest at his cabin. Maybe some people don't feel comfortable having a dog around. I have a fear of dogs and I certainly would not appreciate it.
I think you should take him up on his offer of the boarding.
I will preface this by saying that this has all happened within the past 24 hours. My mind is still pretty much in a blur, so I do apologize in advance if this rambles a bit.
My bf and I have been together for about 4 1/2 years, and live about 100 miles away from each other. We see each other almost every weekend, and this works for the moment.
Next week, we are (were?) set to go to his family reunion, about 1000 miles away. I have pretty much planned on this for the past 3 years, and gave work my notice of these days off at the beginning of this year. It's in a rural location, and we will be staying with about 7 other people in one of his relative's cabins. Before we head off, I have to take an extremely important 2 hour exam. This was a minor hiccup in our plans, but we have worked around it.
Now to the major hiccup...About 7 weeks ago, I found a puppy. Being the kind soul (or sap?) that I am, I took the little guy in. He's been a handful at times, but really is a good little companion for me. Since this happened, we've pretty much planned on taking the little addition with us on this vacation. And, honestly, I am the type of person who will go out of her way to make SURE that he's not a hassle for others. I've been camping with dogs before, and I've had dogs that have been around lots of other people before. Not a huge deal, right? Well, I didn't think so until last night...
I called my bf, and ended up speaking with his brother. (BIG mistake.) He got this attitude that I knew nothing about dogs (because, you know, even though this is MY first puppy, the fact that I have been around dogs all my life means NOTHING ). And he began to mention that because my puppy was not "trained", he would basically not be welcome on this trip. No, wait, actually, he said that my dog would be MORE than welcome to stay tied to a stake outside the cabin at night. To my credit (HA HA), I did explain to him that we would have a crate for him, and that should he be disruptive to others in the cabin in the evenings, I would be MORE than happy to put him in the crate in the back of someone's car. No biggie, really. Frankly, he'll be so over-stimulated and will be running around with my bf's dog (who is more than welcome, btw) I don't even foresee this being an issue, but better to be prepared, right? Then he started going on about how if *I* bring a dog, everyone else will want to bring their dog the next time. This is a RURAL area, people will be in campers...it's catered to dogs, IMIO.
Anyway, this conversation went on for FAR longer than it should have, before I got back on the phone with my bf, at which point I gave him an earful. Through my tears, I told him what his brother had said, and mentioned that I found it quite offensive, especially coming from someone who used to let his dog out to roam the neighborhood before it was stolen. In thinking about it, I was WAY meaner than I would ever be in this sort of context. I mean, I KNOW how highly regarded family is in my bf's eyes, and I don't like to be like *that* (hope that makes sense...).
At that point, we hung up, and I was reeling. Seriously? One week before we're supposed to leave, I'm told that my puppy is not welcome? This subject couldn't have been broached 7 weeks ago? And, is there no consideration for the exam I need to take in a week?
About an hour or so later, I get a call from him. From what he said, he had it out with his brother. Of course, he's upset about that, but frankly, at that moment, I was more concerned with my situation. What got him more than anything else during this conversation, I think, was the fact that I was so "matter-of-fact" in my responses to him. When he told me how much of a burden the puppy would be, I had clear, reasonable responses. But, what REALLY got to me was when he started on about how I'm there to "meet his family" and I should be known as the "gf", not the "gf with the dog". Really? This little guy, for better or worse, is part of my life now, and if it really was such an issue, shouldn't this have been brought up weeks ago?
He ended up offering to pay for the boarding fees. Aside from the fact that I don't think that a puppy of four months should be boarded for a week, if at all possible, I honestly don't want to be spending my VACATION thinking about how the pup would really have enjoyed it, but for some silly people....
So, there's where we stand. We ended the conversation with the requisite "I'll speak to you, maybe".
I am, needless to say, devestated at this point. I actually took the day off today, due to my total lack of sleep last night. I *did* take the pooch for his previously-scheduled rabies shot this morning though. (Scheduled just right so that he could travel with us...funny, eh?)
I am going to call him tonight, but I needed to vent before I did. I do understand that by posting here, I open myself up for certain comments like "he's not into you" and the like, but I have no problem ignoring those at this point. I will not ask if I'm being unreasonable, because I already know the answer to that.
My bottom line at this point is that I will go on this vacation, as it has been planned. If my puppy is truly not welcome, then I'll have to come up with plan B for my vaca. It just seems absolutely outrageous to me that *this* would be a potential breaking point...
Anyway, thanks for reading, and letting me vent.
So you say this is not about your puppy.
sigh really? Then why is 90% of your very long post that I actually took the time to read through about your PUPPY.
Last edited by KylieEve; 07-22-2010 at 08:41 PM..
Reason: .
So you say this is not about your puppy.
sigh really? Then why is 90% of your very long post that I actually tool the time to read through about your PUPPY.
With all due respect, I'm not in the mood for the attitude at this point.
As I have said, it is not his cabin. His dog is welcome. It is not about the puppy, in as much as it is about him thinking that it's ok to spring this on me one week before we're set to go. Sorry you took your time to read it (and highlight the words "dog" and "puppy") and didn't quite get where I was going.
Ok so instead of talking to him about it and trying to resolve it keep debating with me instead. There's worse things he could have done you know.
Thanks for the input. It is duly noted.
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). And he began to mention that because my puppy was not "trained", he would basically not be welcome on this trip. No, wait, actually, he said that my dog would be MORE than welcome to stay tied to a stake outside the cabin at night. 
To my credit (HA HA), I did explain to him that we would have a crate for him, and that should he be disruptive to others in the cabin in the evenings, I would be MORE than happy to put him in the crate in the back of someone's car. No biggie, really. Frankly, he'll be so over-stimulated and will be running around with my bf's dog (who is more than welcome, btw) I don't even foresee this being an issue, but better to be prepared, right? Then he started going on about how if *I* bring a dog, everyone else will want to bring their dog the next time. This is a RURAL area, people will be in campers...it's catered to dogs, IMIO.
