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Is your boyfriend known to your family as the " boyfriend with the dog?" Having a dog myself... I dont get why that is a bad thing? I understand your frustration. I do think your bf was on your side and did defend you with his brother. It is a whole different thing having a 4 month old puppy then an older trained dog. It will take up a lot of your time during the week. You may want to consider boarding... just to keep the peace in his family. It is their reunion and starting it off on the wrong foot with some of the family might not be the best thing regardless of whether it's "right" or "wrong"
I wasn't going to involve myself in this discussion but here goes. I'm a dog lover - huge fan, love em, have them, rescue them. But from what I gather from your post and discussion is he has a DOG you have an untrained PUPPY. Taking a trained dog somewhere is way different than an untrained puppy. I can see how you think this isn't fair, but it is. Most people do not want an untrained puppy having accidents or getting excited in play and tinkling all over the place. I understand this and can appreciate it.
I suggest finding a friend or relative who can puppy sit and take the puppy to them for the time being. I've puppy sit for many faced with the same circumstances.
Again, I do appreciate your positition, but I can also see the reasoning behind his dog being OK to bring and your puppy is not welcome. Try and give it some rational thought.
I wasn't going to involve myself in this discussion but here goes. I'm a dog lover - huge fan, love em, have them, rescue them. But from what I gather from your post and discussion is he has a DOG you have an untrained PUPPY. Taking a trained dog somewhere is way different than an untrained puppy. I can see how you think this isn't fair, but it is. Most people do not want an untrained puppy having accidents or getting excited in play and tinkling all over the place. I understand this and can appreciate it.
I suggest finding a friend or relative who can puppy sit and take the puppy to them for the time being. I've puppy sit for many faced with the same circumstances.
Again, I do appreciate your positition, but I can also see the reasoning behind his dog being OK to bring and your puppy is not welcome. Try and give it some rational thought.
I'm glad you said it. I have the reputation as being a jerk...but I was going to say it kind of sounds like she hasn't trained the puppy yet.
I'm glad you said it. I have the reputation as being a jerk...but I was going to say it kind of sounds like she hasn't trained the puppy yet.
A couple of us said similiar things. A 4 month old puppy is not capable of all types of training at 4 months.... just like kids there are levels of training for certain ages. It certainly could be potty trained by now though depending on the dog. If she's crating that won't be a problem at night but assuming a puppy will be okay in a crate in a strange place is a crapshoot. It could be her sleeping with the crate and puppy in the car just to keep it quiet that might cause some problems with the boyfriend.
In some respects the trip would be good for the puppy for socialization reasons... but in others , it could just bring a lot of stress for the puppy, and the people attending.
Just a funny example to ease the tension here. I have always had female dogs and my last adoption was a small male. I was on the corded telephone on hold and of course I got the 'I have to go out look' from the older dog and darn if that young male didn't walk right up to her, lift his leg and peed on her and then trotted off. Seriously, I couldn't believe it. Pups will do strange things in new places and some of the stuff they do does depend on gender.
They have a dog door, but the pup would go outside and bark on squirrel patrol, so I had to keep it closed until he was calmer with the backyard critters.
I also repainted a room and bought all new linens for it. I had to go to the hospital rather quickly and that door wasn't completely shut and yep, the little male marked the bed posts and the dust ruffle. It was new and he was marking his territory. So taking a puppy to someone else's house is not the best idea.
As I read through this several questions come to mind. Did your boyfriend know your intention to bring the dog 7 weeks ago, or did you just assume he knew? Does the dog bark alot? Does the dog stay up all night? If so, does he know it does and might have been questioned as to whether it did either of these things? After all this is EVERYBODIES family reunion and they might want peace and relaxation and not "shut that damn dog up" all night long. I can't believe a bunch of dog owners are being this way about somebodies puppy unless they think he's a pain, already?? Why do I get the feeling the BF assumed you'd leave the dog home, up to the last week.
Last edited by optiflex; 07-22-2010 at 10:48 PM..
Reason: get the fee
A couple of things, before I get ready to go to work:
First, he is potty trained. And, we have just started letting him sleep on the bed with me at night. Just last night, he was absolutely fine for 8 hours.
Second, he never assumed that I would be leaving the dog. We had been talking about this all along. How we were going to travel, making sure we had room for the crate as well as my bf's golf clubs, etc.
Third, in the seven weeks that I've had the puppy, I have had no reason to think that he would be stressed over something like this. He adapts well, and loves other people.
No, I'm not sure that he won't be a bother, any more that I'm not sure that I won't get food poisoning from the dinner on Saturday night. *shrug* He's crate trained, so putting him in the crate at night in a car would be absolutely no big deal.
I wouldn't count on that. He might be used to his crate, but put it in a car in an unfamiliar place by himself? There's a good chance he'll bark all night, whine and whimper.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73
Third, in the seven weeks that I've had the puppy, I have had no reason to think that he would be stressed over something like this. He adapts well, and loves other people.
But that's the thing - you really don't know how he'll react. Just because he is one way at home doesn't mean he won't act completely different in a different environment around other dogs.
Like others - I've always had dogs. I love dogs. But even our 7 year old dog - put her in a different environment/new experience and she acts differently. And not always a good different.
Last weekend we had friends over who had just gotten their puppy - 3 month old. They brought her. 2 hours around her was enough for me. She was sweet, but she barked a lot at our dog, got our dog all worked up. The puppy got so excited and worked up she jumped out of the owners arms and hurt her leg. They had even brought a small fence thing for her but she didn't like being caged while no one else was not!
I realize that since it's your puppy, you love your puppy. But not everyone has the same feelings about other people's dogs - especially puppies because anyone who has ever had one knows what they are like. Just my two cents. Not sure it's worth causing a huge family issue over.
Without reading everyone else's replies to you, here's my take on the situation - I've read only your post and 3 replies:
How are you getting there? If it's in your own vehicle, do this: take your puppy with you and be prepared to stay elsewhere if it becomes a problem. The issue was resolved prior to last night so a change in plans at an emotional time is not something I would rely upon.
Alternately, you could plan to cut the vacation short - stay only 4 days and let your bf know this now.
The puppy is important to you and it's a part of your family. I AM a pet-person and pets are like a part of family. Sometimes you can board them, sometimes you cannot. Since there will be at least one other canine (your bf's dog), to board your puppy rather than bringing along a crate for him is ludicrous!
Good luck on your exam and enjoy the vacation, whichever option you decide upon.
Don't make such a big deal out of this. Your boyfriend sounds like a decent enough guy. It sounds like he defended your honor to his brother like you said in the first place that they got into it. He wants you to meet his family & have a good time. I say don't make any drama @ this point. It's gonna eventually get back to his family (who is apparently not involved) that you were making a fuss over something as insignificant as bringing a puppy.
OK, I know that it's not so insignificant to you. But it might sound that way to the family who is not involved in this little hissy fit. So far, I can tell that you're real attached to the dog. But if they're asking you to leave him @ home, I say leave him with someone else to avoid conflict. The last place ya wanna be is in the position of the bratty pouty girlfriend. & who knows? Maybe the dog will get way out of hand in the new environment like someone else said. That would put you in an even more uncomfortable position.
Again, don't make such a thing out of it & go have a good time. By not bringing the dog, you're proving to be the bigger person. I agree that you should stand up for what you believe in & what not, but don't push too hard @ it. Obviously no one's letting up. Focus on your boyfriend & his family more than yourself.
Jessie
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