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Which guy is it now? Olympics guy or the player dude?
Both..... I am just getting confused now......grrrrr....
I am trying to put them both in the 'friend" zone for a while until I can get my head on straight.
I thought that it would be a lot easier than this.
I actually thought they would both go running by now according to some things I have read on here, so I have been trying to make plans with everyone and anyone BUT them.
most all the problems in relationships can be cured with asking honest straight forward questions. ask him. tell him you are getting mixed messages and in case he didn't know. on the other hand if he is not that important to you, just let it go and have no expectations of him and you will not be disappointed
most all the problems in relationships can be cured with asking honest straight forward questions. ask him. tell him you are getting mixed messages and in case he didn't know. on the other hand if he is not that important to you, just let it go and have no expectations of him and you will not be disappointed
yeah, I just need a break from both of them to maybe go on dates, get to know some more people...
With both of them, we jumped in the sack too soon I think, so now I don't now if either one has started on a firm enough foundation, and mabey I should keep my options open.
I just think I am in no way ready to commit to one person, and would rather do more learning about myself first.
It is hard when there is so much temptation to pick one of these two though....
I really like the olympics guy, and the player guy seems less and less of a player..... he is trying so hard to get in with my guy friends etc, brings his boss and co-workers around etc..... kind of weaving a web of other people to make it harder to break the bond.
Olympics guy isn't too bad, he does bring a lot of friends around me, but at least isn't trying to pry and get in with MY friends yet....
Thank goodness it is summer, I can keep busy at least.
How many threads are you going to start on this subject? One gets shut down, and you start another one. And this will just keep happening as long as there are people who will pat you on the head like a little girl.
I thought YOU were the 37 year-old self-proclaimed "runaway bride" who was scared of commitment, but can't keep the men off her, since you lost weight and became irresistible enough for some Canadian rock band to want to have you in every video they do. So, scratch that, it's now the guy(s) who have "commitment issues". Oh, no no no. Your last post, you just declared YOU can't commit.
Quote:
I actually thought they would both go running by now according to some things I have read on here, so I have been trying to make plans with everyone and anyone BUT them.
Feels like it is back firing
Of course it's back-firing. Just like when you tried to dress like a geek in a sweater vest, and they still wanted you more and more. You want us to believe your life is like a cliche romantic comedy. Why?
I thought YOU were the 37 year-old self-proclaimed "runaway bride" who was scared of commitment, but can't keep the men off her, since you lost weight and became irresistible enough for some Canadian rock band to want to have you in every video they do.[/quote]
In the beginging stages of a relationship, do they allways get scared and start freaking out?
Yes they do. Nothing worse then a woman who tells you on the 1st or 2nd date that they want to have your kids and they show up at your door step the next morning with bags packed ready to move in.
So, wait until your 3rd date before you purpose and tell him what you've got planned for your and his wedding. You don't want to come off as desperate.
Yes they do. Nothing worse then a woman who tells you on the 1st or 2nd date that they want to have your kids and they show up at your door step the next morning with bags packed ready to move in.
So, wait until your 3rd date before you purpose and tell him what you've got planned for your and his wedding. You don't want to come off as desperate.
In the beginging stages of a relationship, do they allways get scared and start freaking out?
I read something similar in "Mars and Venus" years back, so I am just going with it, but don't actions speak louder than words?
If they say, for example, "we need to slow things down a bit so I can het my life back on track"...... in my mind, that means, ok, not interested, mabey I should move on, but then the ACTIONS, say the opposite..... texting and calling all day, and rushing right over after work and spending the night.
Then, a few days later saying something similar, I am all "ok then, let's just be friends and see how it goes,".... then the same thing.... WTH??
What are we supposed to think?
just go with it?
I think I need to read that book again.
Don't you know? You're supposed to be heartbroken that they want to keep you at arms length while they decide if they can "do better."
If there's one thing I learned wayyyyy back in my early dating years, it's that certain men like to feel like you want them more than they want you. It makes them feel like they have control over the situation. But nearly every single time a man has said he wants to slow down and I agree, he has done the same thing you describe.
What I would do, and have done, in situations like yours is not accommodate the man in question when he changes his mind and suddenly starts to come on strong. I just told them, "You said you wanted to go slowly and I see the value in that."
See, men who run hot and cold are cut from the same bolt as women who run hot and cold. If they sense that there's any chance you'll flee the stable, they'll try to rein you back in by giving you so much attention they almost smother you. They do it to string you along, and if you accommodate them, they'll be back to telling you they want to go slow.
Ideally, it's best to avoid people like that in favor of those who know what they want.
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