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I dated a girl in college who always seemed like she was afraid to eat. But I think it had more to do with obsessing over her weight. She was pretty thin and probably afraid of gaining weight. As someone who enjoys going out to eat, it made things awkward. After a while, I was reluctant to order a big meal and when I did, I couldn't really enjoy it cause I'd see the girl across from me picking at her salad. Needless to say, I didn't date her for very long.
I remember something similar with a close friend of mine. Let's say we went to eat Mexican food. People in our group would order tacos, enchiladas, tortas, etc. What would she order? A salad or a soup. If we went to eat, say, Chinese food, you would see egg rolls, kung pao chicken, and bunch of other stuff on the table. What would she eat? A little cup of egg soup or something. I talked to my friend and asked if she was alright. Asked him if she ever ate a big burger infront of him or something else besides a piece of lettuce and water. He got a bit annoyed with me asking but I felt comfortable asking him since we are close friends. They got married and the problems started. She would faint almost every 2 months, had to say in the hospital in different ocassions, etc. Of course he didn't see that when they were going out. He is still in debt with all kinds of medical bills. We talk about it now and he admits he did blind himself from seeing that.
I don't get annoyed with someone for eating steak all the time and passing on salads so I expect the same from others; if you don't get why some just love salad, fine, don't get one yourself, but don't criticize it just because you don't like it--not you, missvang, but anyone in general. I never used to eat salad til about ten years ago when someone made me an awesome one. I thought, wow, this is what I've been missing?
I dont get annoyed with my friend eating salad.. I'm just annoyed with salad overall. But really, why miss the chance to eat other great food that you may never get the chance again? I'm "mad" because I lost my anti-salad friend to salad. the only person that I can hate salad with has betrayed me, ahahahaha. Oh well.
people that eat healthy are healthy. there is a reason she is slim, she is doing it and will keep on doing it bek its healthy not bek she is with me. healthy is good i like it. its sets a good example for me as well.
Chino, to be completely straight-forward and direct: If a woman wants to eat a four-course, fatty, high-calorie meal complete with dessert, and not your "lean meat, fish, and pasta" and "other things that are healthy," she should be able to do that without being subject to scrutiny or commentary that turns food into a gender issue..
Agree. Some people live to eat, others eat to live. To each their own.
Chino, to be completely straight-forward and direct: If a woman wants to eat a four-course, fatty, high-calorie meal complete with dessert, and not your "lean meat, fish, and pasta" and "other things that are healthy," she should be able to do that without being subject to scrutiny or commentary that turns food into a gender issue
Sure, I am just wondering why it is so common for women to be so concerned about what they eat in front of a guy instead of just eating what they enjoy. Look at what men/women alike have posted here. Lots of interesting varied comments .
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What's more, girls and young women are told over and over and over again about having to watch their weight; having to be attractive to please a man's eye
Agree. When I have heard and read interviews with anorexic or bulimic women, most of them say that it all started when her mother, father, brother, sister, cousin, friend, etc. told her something as simple as "You're fat" when they were younger. It's these roles society imposes on the genders and images they should fulfill that make many people go through a hard time. Women should look good, men should have money, etc. So many things.
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what is necessary to sacrifice or give up by way of dieting to be valuable physically, and therefore valuable entirely, in the world. By the time women get to be 21, food has become a moral issue for them, with some meals being "good" and some being "bad," with the corresponding effect on esteem and emotions for choosing "good" or "bad."
Some women can either take that seriously and others not care at all, like the girl I had dinner with last week. I forgot to add that besides her eating more than me, she was totally fine with having a sundae with me in another dessert place in dowtown. It was our very first time going out and we were both totally fine about it .
I have a male friend who competes in marathons and watches/calculates nutrition facts from almost everything he eats but not necessarily to a point of being annoying or just drinking water with a piece of lettuce. He eats healthy but not limited.
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society still needs to go in respecting women's autonomy over their own bodies
Sure, society has some ideas of what men/women should do but it is up to us if we want to follow it or not 100%. If a woman enjoys being obese and eating all kinds of food, go for it, not sure if that is the best thing for her health though. If a woman wants to be fake and eat a little piece of lettuce with a glass of water in front of a guy while she goes home after that and pigs out with her friends with pizza, chicken wings, and a big slurpee, that's her thing. I just find it interesting on why some women want to portray a fake diety image as interesting as, say, men who want to portray an image of not having a soft sentimental side for example. See, society not respecting a man's autonomy over his feelings can be another thread.
Yikes. I don't know where you eat but I wouldn't touch that or have rarely seen it. I'm very picky about my salad like a meat eater is about their steak.
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Originally Posted by Backliteyes
You're going to some uninspired restaurants then. I sympathize though, it's hard to find a good salad where I'm at (though I've been in cities with a more varied food scene where it's easy), so if I have a good salad somewhere it goes on my list of places to get a salad worth eating.
Actually, we rarely go to restaurants anymore. Maybe once a month. That kind of salad is at any chain you can think of--Applebee's, Cheesecake Factory, Chili's, they're all the same. I am not a fan of the big chains. Nor am I am fan of places that serve things like daikon and grilled rutabaga salad, topped with rosettes of endive mousse and pepper-cantaloupe foam.
I like chopped romaine and green lettuce, cukes, celery, carrots, mushrooms, bell pepper, that kind of thing. Or a spinach salad with blueberries, sunflower seeds and smoked salmon. I make my own salad dressing. I don't need to go to a restaurant to have that kind of salad. I'd rather have something I can't cook or never eat, like sushi or a steak. I haven't eaten beef in ... shoot, months. I can't remember.
Mama wants a steak!
Last edited by JustJulia; 07-30-2010 at 01:51 PM..
Reason: clarification
Are we talking the first few dates? I barely touch my food the first few dates and it has nothing to do with any of what you said. It has to do with the "butterflies" in my stomach. I'm usually much more nervous than I appear especially if I really like the guy. Haven't you ever been too nervous to eat?
Yes, THIS! I'm the same way. I cannot eat on a nervous stomach.
Djuna,
Seeing her eat the cake with a fork its like seeing someone eat a single cheerio in pieces. But hey! She doesn't seem to care, more power to her eventhough I am not sure if that's the healthiest way to eat. Oh well, to each their own.
I love to eat, and I will order what I want even in front of a guy. Also, if I was on a date with a guy, and he was complaining because he was expected to pay(like some nameless posters on here) I would pay for my own. Then, I wouldn't go out with him anymore, but I would eat a full meal. I am not heavy, and have never had to watch my weight. Eating is one of life's pleasures....and it is to be savored slowly...lol.
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the only person that I can hate salad with has betrayed me, ahahahaha. Oh well.
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