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You've started dating a woman and have been out on two or three occasions.
She invites you over for a home cooked meal and goes all out and wants to pamper you like it's Valentine's Day. You're quite flattered at the invitation. You even bring a bottle of wine.
During the meal, she casually brings it up that she has a child and has never mentioned it before in prior conversations on prior dates.
How would you react? Would you think nothing of it or find the extra special treatment as an ulterior motive and manipulative?
During the meal, she casually brings it up that she has a child and has never mentioned it before in prior conversations on prior dates.
How would you react?
fourth date? i would probably sh*t a brick.
but i am young, and i think age matters in all this. it is one thing, for a 25-year old man to spend his prime years raising some other guy's kid from a toddler. I think it would be much easier to be an older guy, dating a mom who had somewhat grown children.
Quote:
Would you think nothing of it or find the extra special treatment as an ulterior motive and manipulative?
She has probably been shown men don't like to date women
with kids, and she wants to see your reaction in a controlled
environment. It also means she's interested in you.
When you have children, you don't want them getting attached
to a new person and then get hurt when they leave. Kids take
everything personal.
Her first priority is her child, as it should be, if ya'll fail she still
has the kid.
Meh. It sounds like she's into you, and wanted to soften you up so that you wouldn't freak out and bail the moment she dropped the K-bomb.
Manipulative? I don't think so, but I guess I can see the argument. Maybe. With a broad definition of "manipulative".
Look, if you're into her, then go for it. If not, then respectfully end things. Either way, this isn't a situation that either requires or justifies a freak-out. It's not like she has a third arm or something.
Up to you if you want to continue going out with her regardless of having a kid or not. As for the whole candle light thing, I wonder if she did it to soften the moment when she told you about her kid or if she just did it because she wanted to, how nice .
She has probably been shown men don't like to date women
with kids, and she wants to see your reaction in a controlled
environment. It also means she's interested in you.
When you have children, you don't want them getting attached
to a new person and then get hurt when they leave. Kids take
everything personal.
Her first priority is her child, as it should be, if ya'll fail she still
has the kid.
You've started dating a woman and have been out on two or three occasions.
She invites you over for a home cooked meal and goes all out and wants to pamper you like it's Valentine's Day. You're quite flattered at the invitation. You even bring a bottle of wine.
During the meal, she casually brings it up that she has a child and has never mentioned it before in prior conversations on prior dates.
How would you react? Would you think nothing of it or find the extra special treatment as an ulterior motive and manipulative?
I would find it very manipulative, and deceptive as well. The home cooked meal and special attention may have been genuine, but I for one would doubt they would've happened if she had no child or if she were not yet to reveal the existence of the child.
I would feel deceived and even betrayed, and most probably end the dating relationship given that after 2 or 3 dates, I would have invested little and wouldn't lose much.
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I don't think so, but I guess I can see the argument. Maybe. With a broad definition of "manipulative". 
