How can I be "prepared" to talk when the chance for it is unexpected? (how to, friend)
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I like talking to people and have trouble making new friends, but most of the time the only time I talk to people is when I plan it before and say what I want to say when I see them. But if I see someone and I didn't expect to see them there (like somewhere at school) or when someone just shows up suddenly and unexpected near and try's to make friendly chit-chat, I don't show much interest or enthusiasm in talking because I didn't expect it. Anyone understand what I'm saying?
How can I stop this and be prepared to talk all the time?
i get what you are saying, but you cant expect to have every conversation planned. life is just not predictable that way. you need to stop thinking so much about it.
conversations usually happen naturally.
someone says hello, you say hello back. they may ask how you are or talk about the weather, you respond. you in turn ask them a question and they answer and so on.
i mean dont know how to explain it any other way, and i am not trying to talk down to you like a 5 yr old...
you cant be "prepared" per se. you just need to relax and be yourself. maybe you see them holding a book and ask if they like it etc.
practice makes perfect. maybe next time you are on line for something, strike up some chit chat with a person near you.
Location: Finally escaped The People's Republic of California
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you do one of two things, steer the conversation toward something you know about and carry it, or steer it toward something they know about and listen...
If it's someone you know thru a friend you can use them to get started, "Hi, aren't you Lisa", "I think I met you at Jason's party" Have you seen Kim and Jason since then"......
I had similar feelings when I was in my teens because I would get nervous about how to respond to an unexpected conversation and I used to blush really bad and also had a fear of blushing which made it more likely to happen. I think it's just a matter of practice and the more that you do anything the better you get at it. You shouldn't think about preparing to talk because you're making yourself feel like you have to pass some sort of test which will just make the whole thing more difficult. It has to be a natural response to whatever someone has presented to you. I would also suggest that the best way to get over this fear would be for you to initiate conversations yourself instead of waiting for one to happen. I guarantee with enough practice you'll start feeling comfortable about it. Good luck.
I'm surprized to find this is a problem for anyone. If you really listen to what is being said maybe you'll have a better idea how to respond. You don't always have to be the one to keep the conversation going. If you are interested in the person you are talking to, there should be a whole list of thing that would be interesting to both of you.
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oh man(or woman)
