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My wife met a woman a few months back in her kickboxing class. They're the same age, and the woman is pleasant and nice enough. She has a few quirks (she's a practicing pagan and a HUGE New Kids on the Block fan .. still, in her 30s), but for the most part a cool person.
The other night, however, she revealed to my wife that she and her husband are in an open relationship. In theory, I have no issues with swingers. In practice though, I'm not exactly comfortable with my wife hanging out with her now. This woman explained that she's bisexual, but likes guys too, and she and her husband have had sexual relationships with other couples in the past.
Just where exactly is this going? Perhaps nowhere, but I'm not sure I want to find out if it is going somewhere. What are your thoughts on this? Would you continue this friendship?
I think its up to your wife and if she feels comfortable enough to keep the friendship.
All she has to do is tell her that she`s happily married, and she is not into an open marriage, but to each their own.
If she feels uncomfortable now knowing this info, then by all means, tell her to move on.
I have swinger friends, poly friends, friends in open relationships, monogamous friends, single friends, straight friends, gay friends, Muslim friends, fundamentalist Christian friends, pagan friends, atheist friends ... We're all clear that we aren't trying to convert anyone to anyone else's practices, yet we still have things in common that we can enjoy together.
Are you worried because your wife is bi and don't think she can control herself around this woman? Or is there something else going on?
Just where exactly is this going? Perhaps nowhere, but I'm not sure I want to find out if it is going somewhere. What are your thoughts on this? Would you continue this friendship?
Guess you have an opportunity for expanding your horizons, WestCobb!
On a more serious note, I wouldn't be too comfortable with a spouse of mine having this sort of a friend. I don’t generally care what people do as long as they don’t broadcast it and don’t make their sexual life a major conversation topic. I know a polyamorous couple, but I'm only aware of it because I happened to come across a blog.
To be clear, I know this is more my wife's issue than mine. If she wants to be friends with this woman, cool .. that's fine. I don't pick her friends. I do think, however, I will NOT be meeting this woman's husband. She told my wife that what her and her husband prefer is a relationship with another couple. Again, not sure where this is going (perhaps nowhere?) but I definitely don't want to find out.
I have ZERO interest in watching another man diddle my wife. In fact, if I ever witnessed such a thing, I'd probably rip the man's ears off. Even if I didn't want to, I'd do it anyways. I'm not sure about other people's brain chemistry, but mine is definitely not wired to share, at all. Cookies are for sharing, not vaginas.
To be clear, I know this is more my wife's issue than mine. If she wants to be friends with this woman, cool .. that's fine. I don't pick her friends. I do think, however, I will NOT be meeting this woman's husband. She told my wife that what her and her husband prefer is a relationship with another couple. Again, not sure where this is going (perhaps nowhere?) but I definitely don't want to find out.
I have ZERO interest in watching another man diddle my wife. In fact, if I ever witnessed such a thing, I'd probably rip the man's ears off. Even if I didn't want to, I'd do it anyways. I'm not sure about other people's brain chemistry, but mine is definitely not wired to share, at all. Cookies are for sharing, not vaginas.
It would be perfectly normal for you to feel that way about the d00d.
People try to debate whether humans were polygamous...and evolution says probably not. But we do know early humans lived in harems...so it would be natural for you to want to destroy your competition. Heck if I was on a jury I'd hang it for you.
The woman might have been making conversation. The fact that she and her husband are in an open relationship doesn't mean that they want to be in an open relationship with you. If a guy told you he was gay, would you automatically assume he wanted to sleep with you?
My wife met a woman a few months back in her kickboxing class. They're the same age, and the woman is pleasant and nice enough. She has a few quirks (she's a practicing pagan and a HUGE New Kids on the Block fan .. still, in her 30s), but for the most part a cool person.
The other night, however, she revealed to my wife that she and her husband are in an open relationship. In theory, I have no issues with swingers. In practice though, I'm not exactly comfortable with my wife hanging out with her now. This woman explained that she's bisexual, but likes guys too, and she and her husband have had sexual relationships with other couples in the past.
Just where exactly is this going? Perhaps nowhere, but I'm not sure I want to find out if it is going somewhere. What are your thoughts on this? Would you continue this friendship?
Your wife's "friend" could be testing the waters to see what kind of response she can get. Given that that is a possibility I can understand your concern about her interest in your wife.
However, your wife must pick and choose her own friends, and use her own (hopefully good) judgement to determine when people in fact really ARE her friends. Trust her to make that determination
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