Humor: Things not to say/ask on a first date. (dating, kids)

[mrstewart]

"My ex and I would come here all the time"....

[JustJulia]

Oh, sh**, there's my spouse.

[onihC]

You look more pretty/handsome after my 4th beer.

[Retroit]

"I hope you're not like other girls I've dated. They all went missing shortly after I met them."

[thebobs]

**First Date**

Him: What do you think of our waitress?
Her: Oh I think she's very good. Very attentive, very prompt, very pleasant.
Him: So do you think I should ask her out?

[WannaliveinGreenville]

( Things men should not say on a first date )

" How much money do you have in the bank ? "

" It's okay if I use this Buy One Get One free Coupon and that means MINE is free and you pay for yours , okay ? "

" I have not brushed my teeth for 3 days , can I still have a kiss " ?

" I don't believe in fast sex but I have 2 new condoms in my wallet in case you want to rush things tonite "

[amanda0808]

"Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone...but I can sure make your Bedrock!"

[Retroit]

"You're very beautiful. You look like my great-grandmother."

[TKramar]

I play a lot of Dungeons and Dragons...you ever want to role play, I'm your Master.

[thebobs]

Upon seeing a couple of cops come into the establishment where you two are:

"Would you mind telling them you were with me on Tuesday at 7:30 pm?"