Why women get more emotionally involved after sex.....theory. (wife, love, younger)
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When I heard this, I agreed with it. It made sense to me as a woman. I wonder if you do.....here's what my doctor said. The reason women apparently get more involved when they have sex with someone is because there's just a lot more at risk, even if your protected. The fact that women carry the physical and emotional burden of bearing a child make a greater stake in the experience. The feeling is innate and within our genetic makeup to attach ourselves to someone when making love or having sex.
Although I think older women tend to understand the essence of a relationship better than a younger woman. Most older women seem to not misinterpret or create illusions about sex with a man and have less at stake because they've already had children or are past that need.
What do you think? Does this ring true for other women or not?
I think that's true on some level. I don't really get attached unless its someone I have strong feelings for to begin with. however, I've only had a couple of casual sex relationships, and each time, I never sought it out, it just happened, but the minute I felt unsafe, I booked it. The safety issue could be my health or the realization of "if for some crazy reason I got pregnant, then....". I can't imagine having someone's child that I wasn't serious with, but that's the only "emotional" aspect of it for me.
The reason why women become emotionally attached after sex is because of a hormone called oxytocin. It is the love and cuddle chemical that is released during sex and breastfeeding.
The reason why women become emotionally attached after sex is because of a hormone called oxytocin. It is the love and cuddle chemical that is released during sex and breastfeeding.
Which is directly related to the idea of getting pregnant and having a kid.....its in our DNA.
Hmmm, interesting, however I think it's more how women see the world. Men are able to compartmentalize their feelings. They can see a woman just for her sex appeal instead a whole- a person with feelings and emotions. In general, women connect and associate everything as one picture. For women I think sex is triggered by the emotions we have "in our head." Of course this is a generalization and I'm sure there are exceptions to this rule.
Plus I think society hammers in a romantic fairytale that become ingrained in how we (women) view love and sex. We grow up hearing about a beautiful princess in danger and her prince charming needs to rescue her. It usually ends with him kissing her and they are in love forever, the end.
So the combination of viewing love and sex connected and societal conditioning women don't separate physical affection from emotional affection.
As a teen and young woman I remember feeling those idealistic ideals about love. As I have matured and experienced more I can separate love more from sex although I don't like the idea of having sex without an emotional connection.
Yeah, I think it's a spectrum. Some women are very attached during sex, some not, etc. For myself, I think I have zero oxytocin, and I am turned off by pregnancy and breastfeeding. (I don't care what other folks do, but my partner and I will always chose abortion, vasectomy, etc.) I also don't care for cuddling. After I do the deed, I want to go to sleep. Which further reinforces my belief that I have low oxytocin or else am immune to its effects.
I also don't get attached during sex, never bought into the princess thing, etc. F*king is to get off, love is emotion - I suppose I compartmentalize my feelings, as I don't view the two as remotely related. Although it IS nice if you find the emotional connection and the sexual connection in the same fellow!
Edited to add, lyra, I read that you posted "exceptions to the rule," hence why I said, "I think it's a spectrum" in my post.
Last edited by Mrs. Burberry; 10-03-2010 at 02:12 PM..
Well, that's why I said there were exceptions to the rule. I think with anything you are going to have a range that all people fit in. But for the most part I would say men are the ones to compartmentalize their feelings and emotions and women are the ones who associate sex with love.
I actually had this same conversation a while back with my buddies wife.
I just chalked it up to women being emotional train wrecks. However, she also mentioned it being chemically related.
She also stated that women who have been sexually assaulted early on in their lives have a very hard time equating sex with love. She's a social worker, so I guess that's where she's getting her opinions.
When I heard this, I agreed with it. It made sense to me as a woman. I wonder if you do.....here's what my doctor said. The reason women apparently get more involved when they have sex with someone is because there's just a lot more at risk, even if your protected. The fact that women carry the physical and emotional burden of bearing a child make a greater stake in the experience. The feeling is innate and within our genetic makeup to attach ourselves to someone when making love or having sex.
Although I think older women tend to understand the essence of a relationship better than a younger woman. Most older women seem to not misinterpret or create illusions about sex with a man and have less at stake because they've already had children or are past that need.
What do you think? Does this ring true for other women or not?
After sex oxytocin levels rise which helps bonding....they rise much more in women which is why we bond harder...simple biology basically =).
There's a lot more to Oxytocin but I bet it's beyond the PG 13 rating.
It is a neurotransmitter so it has a mind altering capability. Still, you can't dismiss the roles we learn and that women tend to have different emotional processes. I think Oxytocin can magnify those feelings that are already established.
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I think with anything you are going to have a range that all people fit in. But for the most part I would say men are the ones to compartmentalize their feelings and emotions and women are the ones who associate sex with love.
