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Rance is on to something there, he may be right, talk to him in a nice way about it, it could be physical. If you two have fallen into a regular pattern with the thing you do you may just need to do something you two would like that is differant, go on a vacation, a change in your daily lives may do the trick.
Good luck
Listen friend girl. I know I don't know u and u trust your man and I am sure u have good reason to. But the first thing u look for when a man doesn't want sex is another woman. U may know where he is all the time, but if somebody is determined to get some...they will always find a way. I think men always want sex especially in a relationship- having sex available on a regular basis at home where it is convenient and a sure thing is a powerful motivation for marriage or a committed relationship. It may not be the only reason, but I bet it is in the top 2. Now in fairness to your guy he maybe having some health issues, but how old is he? Are there any reasons he should be having health issues? Investigate look into things. BUT if a man don't want some...something is seriously wrong. I am not buying that "I love u too much to" because that's why a man loves u-u puttin somethin on him he can feel all the way down in his soul. I am not saying he is cheating because I don't know. There is always the possibility though. I wish u luck and I hope everything works out well for u.
Will this ever change? Yes, it will get worse left untreated. It will get worse as he ages. More than 1/2 the men over 50 have some degree of ED or performance anxiety. Add that to the problem he already has.....
If his problem is physiological, he needs to see a medical doc/urologist.
If his problem is psychological, he needs a therapist. Men do sometimes have hangups surrounding the whole good girl/bad girl thing. Believe it or not, it usually goes back to their mothers. You can get a good clue on this one if you can find out if his mom was a party girl or cheated on his dad.
You're going to have to talk to him about the problem. Decide in advance if you are willing to have a sexless relationship(there was a thread on this not long ago). If the answer is no, he needs to seek help or move on. If the problem is psychological, be advised it can take YEARS of therapy, cost a boatload of money, and there's no way to know if it will work. Be kind but be honest. Encourage him to do the same. If this is going to split you up for good, much better to find out now than 5 years from now.
I do understand to some extent how sex with someone you love requires a completely different mentality, but I don't get this....
For me it's always been difficult to shift gears when I've REALLY gotten to know a girl/woman well and grown to care for and respect them and THEN move into the more physical relationship.
IMO going the other direction wouldn't be a difficult transition so I'm kinda stumped here..... It seems to me that a guy who sleeps with women he doesn't respect and then has trouble being intimate with those he does might seek a little something on the side, but if you're sure that's not the case then I don't know what's up..... A year is a long time.... Look for a hidden porn stash maybe???
Sorry, guess I just typed this out and didn't really end up helping much... Sorry..
many wise posters on here,,,, i do believe a common denominater,,is performance,,,a man would rather be having a root canal, than not able to perform, when the gates of heaven are opened to him. so, he avoids the situation.
you mentrioned he slept around alot,,,well, i hate to say it,,but maybe he has/had a flare-up of herpes, or some std, and is too embarrassed or scared to tell you..
umm,,the other possibility,,,is,,,maybe he swings both ways,,,,and not swinging back...
no matter how you look at it, a 30 yr old guy not having sex for a year,,,thiers definitely something squirrely going on..
Is he using pornography? If so, you may not be enough anymore. Have you caught him in self sex act? If so there is some unmet need of his.
I think however you have a deeper talk with him about this. If you can present an oppurtunity for discussion in a non-threatening way he might open up.
Is he using pornography? If so, you may not be enough anymore. Have you caught him in self sex act? If so there is some unmet need of his.
I think however you have a deeper talk with him about this. If you can present an oppurtunity for discussion in a non-threatening way he might open up.
zorst, with all due respect...wtf???
even if the guy is looking at porn,,,its just pictures, he has the real thing, beside him,,,
its like a starving man at a buffet, with his hands tied, and cant eat (looking at porn)
yet with his wife, he can gorge himself and she's the main entree
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. U may know where he is all the time, but if somebody is determined to get some...they will always find a way
. I think men always want sex especially in a relationship- having sex available on a regular basis at home where it is convenient and a sure thing is a powerful motivation for marriage or a committed relationship. It may not be the only reason, but I bet it is in the top 2
. Now in fairness to your guy he maybe having some health issues, but how old is he? Are there any reasons he should be having health issues? Investigate look into things. BUT if a man don't want some...something is seriously wrong. I am not buying that "I love u too much to" because that's why a man loves u-u puttin somethin on him he can feel all the way down in his soul
. I am not saying he is cheating because I don't know. There is always the possibility though. I wish u luck and I hope everything works out well for u.
