Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You speak as if marriage is something you have no control in the success of. But that's not true. People cite the 50% figure as if they have 50/50 odds of divorcing. That's false. People have more control than they want to admit. As for why the divorce rate is as high at is, I don't have enough time to answer such a complicated question. But I think a big reason is that people just don't know how to find the right person so they end up marrying the wrong person. And it doesn't help that we live in a culture that pressures people to marry. Maybe if there weren't that pressure, people wouldn't be marrying the wrong people.
Thats like saying you have more control not getting into a car accident when its more safer to fly.
To be honest, I am curious about why you are asking all these questions? Are you specifically looking for someone, whether it be a FWB or something more serious? Do you have answers to all the questions you have been asking? Are you trying to see if there is someone on here that fits your qualifications?
Anyone one meets this criteria? Are you looking for a relationship? F**k Buddy, FWB, etc. What kind of life are you living?
While I may or may not have what can be considered a 'good job', I fit the criteria.
I have officially been single for one year now, but realistically it has been closer to two years. Outside of the same roommate that I have been living with for the last four years, I feel pretty lonely. Between spending three years in Maine, and since my time in Boston--I can't for the life of me meet anyone my age. When I was in Maine, everyone I met and/or hung out with (co-workers) were well under my age. Most of them thought I was around 28. So I let them think that.
Here in Boston it is the same. The kids at school, work, and the bar[s] are so much younger than me. I have decided to get to know some kids at school who have taken an interest in me, particularly since they know that I am not 18 myself. They have guessed my age between 23 and 28. A part of me is afraid to tell them that I am really 3X. I don't want to ruin anything. I never thought that I would be hanging out with people so young, but f**k, what am I supposed to do? It's better than having no friends at all.
For awhile, I was content on being single. Not that I was a player, but just that it gave me time to be by myself for awhile. Now it has gotten old. I would love to have a serious girlfriend, but would not complain about a FB or FWB to hold me over. I miss that type of companionship; being close to someone on that level, holding hands, all that corny stuff that I usually make fun of.
Ugh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rlrl
but any single guy who admits they are not in a FWB or FB relationship is going to get a bashing and labelled "wimp" or "geek"
I'm definitely a geek, but you probably wouldn't call me a wimp to my face if we were to meet in person.
Feeling lonely is a state of mind. You actually do not need a girl to be happy. If you feel lonely, likehood is that the girl you will hook up with next will get the same vibe from you also.
You can have friends of any age as long as you find what you are looking for. Just be glad that you aren't miserable like the married couples with kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Luv
While I may or may not have what can be considered a 'good job', I fit the criteria.
I have officially been single for one year now, but realistically it has been closer to two years. Outside of the same roommate that I have been living with for the last four years, I feel pretty lonely. Between spending three years in Maine, and since my time in Boston--I can't for the life of me meet anyone my age. When I was in Maine, everyone I met and/or hung out with (co-workers) were well under my age. Most of them thought I was around 28. So I let them think that.
Here in Boston it is the same. The kids at school, work, and the bar[s] are so much younger than me. I have decided to get to know some kids at school who have taken an interest in me, particularly since they know that I am not 18 myself. They have guessed my age between 23 and 28. A part of me is afraid to tell them that I am really 3X. I don't want to ruin anything. I never thought that I would be hanging out with people so young, but f**k, what am I supposed to do? It's better than having no friends at all.
For awhile, I was content on being single. Not that I was a player, but just that it gave me time to be by myself for awhile. Now it has gotten old. I would love to have a serious girlfriend, but would not complain about a FB or FWB to hold me over. I miss that type of companionship; being close to someone on that level, holding hands, all that corny stuff that I usually make fun of.
Ugh.
I'm definitely a geek, but you probably wouldn't call me a wimp to my face if we were to meet in person.
Thats like saying you have more control not getting into a car accident when its more safer to fly.
Terrible analogy. People fear marriage because they see statistics instead of daring to dig deeper at why some marriages fail and others last. If I were trying to lose weight and saw that 95% of dieters fail to keep the weight off, does that mean I shouldn't bother trying? Of course not. It just means I should look at the 5% who've succeeded and learn from them. Same with marriage. Instead of focusing on how many fail, why not look at the ones who've made their marriages last? That's why I consider myself lucky that I didn't get married in my 20s. I've had time to watch my peers marry and then divorce. So now I can learn from their mistakes.
Terrible analogy. People fear marriage because they see statistics instead of daring to dig deeper at why some marriages fail and others last. If I were trying to lose weight and saw that 95% of dieters fail to keep the weight off, does that mean I shouldn't bother trying? Of course not. It just means I should look at the 5% who've succeeded and learn from them. Same with marriage. Instead of focusing on how many fail, why not look at the ones who've made their marriages last? That's why I consider myself lucky that I didn't get married in my 20s. I've had time to watch my peers marry and then divorce. So now I can learn from their mistakes.
People fear marriage because its a big decision in life. Both emotionally and financially.
Every individual is different so the ones that lasted may have done something that you may not want to do.
People fear marriage because its a big decision in life. Both emotionally and financially.
Every individual is different so the ones that lasted may have done something that you may not want to do.
People fear marriage because of the risks involved, both emotionally and financially. As for your second point, yes those people may have done something you may not want to do. The point is you won't know unless you actually look at what they've done. But a lot of people don't bother doing that. They simply look at the 50% figure and declare marriage a failed institution. I go back to my diet analogy. If I see 5% of people who've managed to lose weight and keep it off, I could do what you just did and say "those people may have done something I don't want to do." The key word their is may. Seems like people are lazy and don't even want to find out what works. They simply react to everyone else's failures. 90% of businesses fail in the first year. Can you imagine where we'd be if people saw that failure rate and didn't bother creating their own business?
People fear marriage because of the risks involved, both emotionally and financially. As for your second point, yes those people may have done something you may not want to do. The point is you won't know unless you actually look at what they've done. But a lot of people don't bother doing that. They simply look at the 50% figure and declare marriage a failed institution. I go back to my diet analogy. If I see 5% of people who've managed to lose weight and keep it off, I could do what you just did and say "those people may have done something I don't want to do." The key word their is may. Seems like people are lazy and don't even want to find out what works. They simply react to everyone else's failures. 90% of businesses fail in the first year. Can you imagine where we'd be if people saw that failure rate and didn't bother creating their own business?
Marriage is just a piece of paper anyways. You can still live a happy life without getting married.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
