"Go for people in your league" (dating, women, attracted)

[JBT1980]

You hear this all the time from people especially if you have trouble finding someone but how do you know if someone is "in your league"

Lets say youre talking looks obviously theres some hideous people and gorgeous but most people walking the streets are average or a little below or above

How do you judge who in the opposite gender is in your league so to speak?

Isnt it pretty subjective for the most part?

Is it better to just approach somebody you find attractive or approach somebody youre ehhh to but think its closer to your level?

[DennyCrane]

While I think it's important to have realistic expectations, I'm not a big fan of thinking in terms of leagues. But to answer your question, I think knowing who's in your league involves a lot of trial and error. Some really unattractive guys go after gorgeous women and after enough rejection realize they need to adjust their standards. Likewise someone who thinks he's in a lower league may not realize that he has a shot at someone who looks great until he actually makes the attempt.

[TKramar]

There are no "leagues". We are all basically equal, in biological terms, except for the differences between the two genders. Inside either gender, we're all basically the same.

[cuinlalaland]

There's no such thing as 'leagues' for looks. Some friends and I were just talking about this today. My sister is incredibly beautiful, and by having her for a sister I learned that no matter how beautiful a woman is she has all the same insecurities, feelings, wants and needs as any other woman.

There's no reason to be intimidated by or think you aren't good enough for anyone.

[Davros]

Originally Posted by JBT1980

You hear this all the time from people especially if you have trouble finding someone but how do you know if someone is "in your league"

Lets say youre talking looks obviously theres some hideous people and gorgeous but most people walking the streets are average or a little below or above

How do you judge who in the opposite gender is in your league so to speak?

Isnt it pretty subjective for the most part?

Is it better to just approach somebody you find attractive or approach somebody youre ehhh to but think its closer to your level?

You'll find out that they're not in your league when they say no. Don't worry, you'll survive hearing that word.

Here's the deal. You can't know until you ask. What somebody looks like does not necessarily determine who they are attracted to.

As for your last question, I think it is better to approach both. Don't limit yourself based on people's looks. If they gross you out, obviously you don't want to date them, but if you just consider them "average" or "plain" you should not turn them down just because of their looks. Somebody who is "average" or "plain" may be end up being the best person you've ever met because of her personality and character.

[Campton Springs]

Originally Posted by TKramar

There are no "leagues". We are all basically equal,.

Originally Posted by cuinlalaland

There's no such thing as 'leagues' for looks. .

I wish I could agree with you both, but then how do you explain men who don't date unattractive women, fatter women, etc.

And gorgeous people seem to date equally gorgeous people.

Originally Posted by Davros

Here's the deal. You can't know until you ask. .

I think in general guys feel they are more attractive (perhaps just more confidant) than they are..so they overlook those with average looks because they think they are better than average. Think about this: you always see average men going up to very attractive women in bars. But you never see average women going up to very attractive men. Women are more aware of their selves and "real" appearance..IMHO.

[TKramar]

There are personal preferences, to be sure, but one woman isn't really any different than another, based on hair color or weight or political affiliation alone.

[JBT1980]

Originally Posted by Campton Springs

I think in general guys feel they are more attractive (perhaps just more confidant) than they are..so they overlook those with average looks because they think they are better than average.

I disagree the average women will get hit on and get more compliments then the average guy so more of a chance to have an inflated ego

The average guy will go through tons of rejections before he gets a yes

A far as your appraoch theory thats only becasue Men do most of the approaching and women pick from thre group that approaches..

[Davros]

Originally Posted by Campton Springs

I think in general guys feel they are more attractive (perhaps just more confidant) than they are..so they overlook those with average looks because they think they are better than average. Think about this: you always see average men going up to very attractive women in bars. But you never see average women going up to very attractive men. Women are more aware of their selves and "real" appearance..IMHO.

I agree that guys tend to think they are more attractive than they are. Even the shy ones such as myself who are at times ashamed of our looks are trying to flirt non-verbally with super-attractive women all the time. When I am trying to make eye contact with a beautiful woman, I don't picture myself the way I truly am. I picture myself more attractive than I am.

I also agree very much that many average men are way, way, way too picky with regards to looks. I hear men cutting down women for their looks all the time, women who are really quite attractive. They even cut down the looks of attractive movie stars that they'd have zero chance of dating !

I can't speak about women because I am not one. However, part of why you don't see average women hitting on hot guys may be because men are supposed to be the ones who make "first contact" in bars, not women. How many attractive women do you see going up to attractive men in bars ? Men go up to women in bars, not the other way around. That's how I think it is.

[SifuPhil]

I just confine myself to the bush leagues...