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And I must say all the great advice I received here from total strangers helped me a lot in my decision. Sometimes the best advice comes from those who have no attachment to the situation.
Anyway here is what happened this morning that made it clear to me.
I was looking forward to spending some time with the GF today, hadn't seen her in 4 days. I thought we could go out just the 2 of us for the day. Her daughter could watch her brother and give us some free time. I show up this morning and her son is having his usually meltdown about brushing his teeth so the GF is at her wits end. She always has to bribe him to do anything so she is promising him we wont be gone long and then we will take him to the arcade here. Just great.
The 21 yr old daughter is in the shower taking her usual half hour shower and the GF hasn't even been able to get in the bathroom yet to start getting ready. The 3 dogs are crying to go outside. Two of them have winter coats on, yes they dress the dogs. The third is an 8 week old puppy that the 21 yr old just had to have.
So guess who takes the dogs out in 25 degree temps. Im standing there outside freezing, listening to the 7 yr old yelling inside, and I ask myself, what the F are you doing man. Is the the life you want. Always coming in third. Always having to wait and compromise. I guarantee we will be out no more then an hour and she will be saying we better get back so we can take him like i promised.
What the f about us? She is telling me i don't really matter. So what if I am 52 fing years old i need some attention to. I just waited 4 days, and in those 4 days other than working she spent every minute with her kids.
Anyway i go back inside and her and the princess are arguing. Princess doesn't want to watch him for more than an hour, she wants to go to the mall. She says why cant her brother and her go with us?
Mom feeling all guilty says i guess you can. So the giant p***** i am i say ok. I spend the next 2 hrs in hell, get back drop them off, say i have things i have to do, decide driving home i have to end this. Going to suck big time being Christmas and all but i cant do this anymore. I can't pretend.
I need to figure out why and then STOP picking needy trainwreck women!
Am I asking too much to just have a day alone with her?
Every time she gives in to the kids they are reinforced how much they can control her. I saw very clearly this morning that isn't going to change.
I honestly don't know what the GF wants in this. I don't think she really wants a man or even likes them. She says often all men are just after sex and what else they can get. Like was mentioned in my other thread she has never seen or been in a healthy relationship. All she knows is abuse abandonment and men coming and going. She told me that her Mom, who is on marriage 4 once told her it's just as easy hooking up with a rich man as a poor man so pick the one with money cuz it probably won't last anyway.
Her kids are her bf. Her daughter runs the household. I am just someone to F once in awhile and help them out with things. Thats why her ex husband left her, she spent every second with her kids.
Thanks for all the great advice, it helped me see exactly where i am and where i was headed.
Good for you! Living in peace alone is better than this sort of hell!
It's more like 6th (after the 3 dogs, too)!
That about the dogs is more true than you know. Her and the daughter dress these dogs up, literally put bows and dresses on them. Both their dogs have facebook pages?
When i do sleep over the dog is always in the bed. She talks to them like they are her little kids. She often jokes about becoming the crazy dog woman but I'm thinking she isn't really joking.
When i do sleep over the dog is always in the bed.
Oh, I do know what you're talking about. My experience happened to take place in a worse than that zoo!
Well, you must have more patience than I do. I won't have a filthy animal in bed (or even in the bedroom at all) even if that means sleeping alone for the rest of my life.
You mentioned that this seems to be a pattern of yours - finding needy women. If this is a trend, you need to examine why you feel attracted to women who need to be rescued - what is it in you that needs to be needed rather than wanted? Simply looking for the answers may be what you need to break the trend.
And I must say all the great advice I received here from total strangers helped me a lot in my decision. Sometimes the best advice comes from those who have no attachment to the situation.
Anyway here is what happened this morning that made it clear to me.
I was looking forward to spending some time with the GF today, hadn't seen her in 4 days. I thought we could go out just the 2 of us for the day. Her daughter could watch her brother and give us some free time. I show up this morning and her son is having his usually meltdown about brushing his teeth so the GF is at her wits end. She always has to bribe him to do anything so she is promising him we wont be gone long and then we will take him to the arcade here. Just great.
The 21 yr old daughter is in the shower taking her usual half hour shower and the GF hasn't even been able to get in the bathroom yet to start getting ready. The 3 dogs are crying to go outside. Two of them have winter coats on, yes they dress the dogs. The third is an 8 week old puppy that the 21 yr old just had to have.
So guess who takes the dogs out in 25 degree temps. Im standing there outside freezing, listening to the 7 yr old yelling inside, and I ask myself, what the F are you doing man. Is the the life you want. Always coming in third. Always having to wait and compromise. I guarantee we will be out no more then an hour and she will be saying we better get back so we can take him like i promised.
What the f about us? She is telling me i don't really matter. So what if I am 52 fing years old i need some attention to. I just waited 4 days, and in those 4 days other than working she spent every minute with her kids.
Anyway i go back inside and her and the princess are arguing. Princess doesn't want to watch him for more than an hour, she wants to go to the mall. She says why cant her brother and her go with us?
Mom feeling all guilty says i guess you can. So the giant p***** i am i say ok. I spend the next 2 hrs in hell, get back drop them off, say i have things i have to do, decide driving home i have to end this. Going to suck big time being Christmas and all but i cant do this anymore. I can't pretend.
I need to figure out why and then STOP picking needy trainwreck women!
Am I asking too much to just have a day alone with her?
Every time she gives in to the kids they are reinforced how much they can control her. I saw very clearly this morning that isn't going to change.
I honestly don't know what the GF wants in this. I don't think she really wants a man or even likes them. She says often all men are just after sex and what else they can get. Like was mentioned in my other thread she has never seen or been in a healthy relationship. All she knows is abuse abandonment and men coming and going. She told me that her Mom, who is on marriage 4 once told her it's just as easy hooking up with a rich man as a poor man so pick the one with money cuz it probably won't last anyway.
Her kids are her bf. Her daughter runs the household. I am just someone to F once in awhile and help them out with things. Thats why her ex husband left her, she spent every second with her kids.
Thanks for all the great advice, it helped me see exactly where i am and where i was headed.
The iron maiden song run to the hills really fits this situation perfectly .
And I must say all the great advice I received here from total strangers helped me a lot in my decision. Sometimes the best advice comes from those who have no attachment to the situation.
Anyway here is what happened this morning that made it clear to me.
I was looking forward to spending some time with the GF today, hadn't seen her in 4 days. I thought we could go out just the 2 of us for the day. Her daughter could watch her brother and give us some free time. I show up this morning and her son is having his usually meltdown about brushing his teeth so the GF is at her wits end. She always has to bribe him to do anything so she is promising him we wont be gone long and then we will take him to the arcade here. Just great.
The 21 yr old daughter is in the shower taking her usual half hour shower and the GF hasn't even been able to get in the bathroom yet to start getting ready. The 3 dogs are crying to go outside. Two of them have winter coats on, yes they dress the dogs. The third is an 8 week old puppy that the 21 yr old just had to have.
So guess who takes the dogs out in 25 degree temps. Im standing there outside freezing, listening to the 7 yr old yelling inside, and I ask myself, what the F are you doing man. Is the the life you want. Always coming in third. Always having to wait and compromise. I guarantee we will be out no more then an hour and she will be saying we better get back so we can take him like i promised.
What the f about us? She is telling me i don't really matter. So what if I am 52 fing years old i need some attention to. I just waited 4 days, and in those 4 days other than working she spent every minute with her kids.
Anyway i go back inside and her and the princess are arguing. Princess doesn't want to watch him for more than an hour, she wants to go to the mall. She says why cant her brother and her go with us?
Mom feeling all guilty says i guess you can. So the giant p***** i am i say ok. I spend the next 2 hrs in hell, get back drop them off, say i have things i have to do, decide driving home i have to end this. Going to suck big time being Christmas and all but i cant do this anymore. I can't pretend.
I need to figure out why and then STOP picking needy trainwreck women!
Am I asking too much to just have a day alone with her?
Every time she gives in to the kids they are reinforced how much they can control her. I saw very clearly this morning that isn't going to change.
I honestly don't know what the GF wants in this. I don't think she really wants a man or even likes them. She says often all men are just after sex and what else they can get. Like was mentioned in my other thread she has never seen or been in a healthy relationship. All she knows is abuse abandonment and men coming and going. She told me that her Mom, who is on marriage 4 once told her it's just as easy hooking up with a rich man as a poor man so pick the one with money cuz it probably won't last anyway.
Her kids are her bf. Her daughter runs the household. I am just someone to F once in awhile and help them out with things. Thats why her ex husband left her, she spent every second with her kids.
Thanks for all the great advice, it helped me see exactly where i am and where i was headed.
And from now on whatever woman you date, you put your foot down.
Glad to hear you've put yourself first! Remember in any relationship if you're not getting what you want out of it....not for you. Whatever is blinded by lust, affection, etc. will come to light sooner or later.
You've done the marriage, kids thing, now it's your time. Spend it wisely!
You're 50 years old? You sound more like a 25 year old guy. It's obvious you dislike her kids. So you expect her to abandon them and take care of you? I'm sorry, man, you sound like her fourth kid.
You are over FIFTY and you are in a relationship with a mom. What else do you expect? Perhaps you should try picking up a trophy which digs old dudes
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Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Living in peace alone is better than this sort of hell!
.
Remember in any relationship if you're not getting what you want out of it....not for you. 
Whatever is blinded by lust, affection, etc. will come to light sooner or later. 
