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My girlfriend told me to quit smoking, I knew it was the right thing to do and that it was necessary for my health so of course I quit. When I go out drinking with the guys and she's not there I like to have some cigarettes in the night. Recently she has been freaking out about this and saying all kinds of crazy stuff about "how i better quit smoking completely or else". Whenever I go out her first question is "did you smoke". I don't know, I think its seems less about her wanting me to quit and more about control. Do you guys think the same?
Yes it seems to be that way. Have you asked her why she wants you to stop?
Well her reasoning is good.. her dad is dying from it. But I don't smoke anymore, and she doesn't see how much I went through to stop and she just wants me to stop 100%. I just dont see how having a few smokes with the guys is a big deal. I dont want to smoke on a regular basis, I hate smoking too
Well her reasoning is good.. her dad is dying from it. But I don't smoke anymore, and she doesn't see how much I went through to stop and she just wants me to stop 100%. I just dont see how having a few smokes with the guys is a big deal. I dont want to smoke on a regular basis, I hate smoking too
You do smoke. I'm not being a b*tch, that's just the way it is. You just only smoke in a particular setting, with particular people (or more importantly, NOT with one particular person). But don't fool yourself, you're still a smoker.
You don't hate smoking. People who hate smoking don't do it. You still smoke because on some level, you enjoy doing it.
If you want to call me a smoker for smoking some cigarettes 2 times per month, be my guest I don't really care. But to overlook the other facts of how someone changed their entire lifestyle and quit cold turkey seems a bit ignorant to me.
I had the same thing happen to me. I personally don't see the problem with having a cigarette "2 times per month" (if it's that infrequent then TREAT YOURSELF and buy some Nat Shermans, best cigarettes around).
I think she genuinely cares about your well-being and that's why she wants you to quit completely. The problem is, it's very very very very difficult to get someone to do that unless they themselves want to.
"Listen...I know smoking is bad for me, and I understand that you feel strongly about me smoking. I would like to quit completely, I really would. But honestly, I still enjoy having a few smokes around the boys, and I'm just not ready to give that up. If that is a dealbreaker for you (since you keep saying "or else"), then maybe we need to take a break from each other for a while. If it's not a dealbreaker, then please realize that neither of us should be trying to control the other person's life. I want you to be happy in this relationship and feel secure in the knowledge that I trust your ability to decide what is best for you, and to apply fairness in what affects us both. I would hope that you feel the say way about me."
Well her reasoning is good.. her dad is dying from it.
So if he is dying from diabetes 2, or some liver disease, or skin cancer instead, would you quit eating, drinking, and going to the beach? That drill will continue until you have no joy left in your life. Anyway, it's your life and your GF, so do whatever you wish.
I had the same thing happen to me. I personally don't see the problem with having a cigarette "2 times per month" (if it's that infrequent then TREAT YOURSELF and buy some Nat Shermans, best cigarettes around).
I think she genuinely cares about your well-being and that's why she wants you to quit completely. The problem is, it's very very very very difficult to get someone to do that unless they themselves want to.
Exactly, I never smoke during the week mon-fri and I dont go out with my friends every weekend because I like to relax after a week of work. I don't see how it can be overlooked how much I went through with the physical withdraws and breaking the habit of all the other things and just focus in on the one time out with my friends that i can enjoy some cigs and beer with them. I dont even do it if shes around and im drinking.
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