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Have not conversed with her in months, so I do not know. All I know is that what she said about me and her to our friends was all lies. Which, my friends backed me up saying that is not how I handle things. First she said, she broke up with me, the reverse of what happened, then she said, well, we broke up because I did not like her close relationship between her and her daughter. Outside of that, I do not know. I am positive on the medical issues. I am positive on the financial issues. I saw the scars all over her stomach and genital area that her husband did to her too. It's a lot to take in, I will give her that. And she is a surviver, but, I swear, in terms of the way she's living her live, I.E. for the moment and sexual gratification, it's like watching a live train wreck. She's got a bad deal in life, no doubt. I just hope to God that her sexual exploits does not effect her daughter.
And, no, I would not want her back after what she did when I left. That time was for healing and to get her life back on track not screwing another guy.
Yes, very true. I was blinded by lust. Though, not too sure on the first husband though. Since he beat the crap of her, I really don't think that was her fault. Though, picking him, having a baby with him, and marrying him could had all been avoided. Just saying. We all should be responsible for the decisions and discretions we make in life.
Many abusive men have their agenda and do not begin acting abusively until the woman is locked into marriage and becomes pregnant. In his mind she is completely unable to get away and is marked as his. Don't try so hard to judge. Relationships don't always go the way you plan. You seem to be learning that yourself.
A large percentage of bankruptcies in America are caused by expensive chronic illness. Is it her fault she randomly came down with these illnesses? Could it explain her desire to marry twice in 10 years for emotional comfort? Could it explain losing her home and racking up bills? Sure. Is keeping your medical bills paid at all costs an irresponsible, hot mess decision or a practical one?
Since you seem predisposed to judging her "situation" she undoubtedly picked up your assesment of her life. Do you think maybe it was easier to be with the FWB who's giving her pleasure and comfort without the silent "attitude"?
Many abusive men have their agenda and do not begin acting abusively until the woman is locked into marriage and becomes pregnant. In his mind she is completely unable to get away and is marked as his. Don't try so hard to judge. Relationships don't always go the way you plan. You seem to be learning that yourself.
A large percentage of bankruptcies in America are caused by expensive chronic illness. Is it her fault she randomly came down with these illnesses? Could it explain her desire to marry twice in 10 years for emotional comfort? Could it explain losing her home and racking up bills? Sure. Is keeping your medical bills paid at all costs an irresponsible, hot mess decision or a practical one?
Since you seem predisposed to judging her "situation" she undoubtedly picked up your assesment of her life. Do you think maybe it was easier to be with the FWB who's giving her pleasure and comfort without the silent "attitude"?
Really do not know about the FWB, nor completely care. Whatever she chooses to do after me is of course her to decide. Whether she wants to do one guy or have an orgy with her daughter in the next room, not my problem. It is a concern for the well being, but that is it. What I will say, is that I never commented to her in her position in life or the choices she made.
It would be certainly one thing if her bankruptcy was caused by medical debt. Since I helped her with the paperwork, it was all credit cards for materialistic things. She is more of an impulse buyer. So, when she wants something, she buys it. None of it was medical. Not one penny. Again, I will stress, I never held anything or her bad decisions against her. We've all made them in some type of form. I just tried to look forward and be a team.
Interesting perspective, but you are allowed your own opinion. Not all the women here share your opinion either. You're wrong, but allowed to think that I was the one who was wrong here and I was the one who caused this relationship to end. While, the baggage was a lot, I did not hold it against her and treated her like it was a non-issue. When she needed time to get treatment or medical help, I always offered support and to come with her. She turned it down, but I continued to offer it. So, if you think, that I treated her any different than any other woman who had no "baggage" you are sorely mistaken. I did not try to fix things either. I did not buy her things to make her feel better. I tried to be the best I could in the relationship. Always included the daughter. When we were going to go on vacation, I asked the daughter for her input too.
The only reason why I mentioned the guy she is shacking up with is to show the bizarreness of her antics. It's very strange for a woman to have another guy jump in her bed so soon, especially when the daughter is there too. Aside from that, I do not believe I mentioned anything negative about her.
You're kidding, right? You didn't say anything negative about her? You completely trashed her, from head to toe . . .you gave a laundry list of her "failures," seen from your perspective. You initially said you felt like a step-father, like it was a bad thing. You don't think she picked up on your judgment?
You said you haven't spoken to her in months . . . why are are you wasting any time thinking about this now, if not your ego being hurt by the fact that she is sleeping with someone else. And now all of a sudden you care about her daughter . . . that just doesn't ring true, it sounds more judgmental again . . . you don't think she should be sleeping with someone so soon. Well, guess what, she is. It has nothing to do with you.
It really bothers me to hear someone judged so harshly for being sick and being married and having financial problems . . . if you are so against those types of problems then give the next candidate a questionnaire and I sure hope the person doesn't get sick after the fact because we know how that disgusts you.
You're kidding, right? You didn't say anything negative about her? You completely trashed her, from head to toe . . .you gave a laundry list of her "failures," seen from your perspective. You initially said you felt like a step-father, like it was a bad thing. You don't think she picked up on your judgment?
You said you haven't spoken to her in months . . . why are are you wasting any time thinking about this now, if not your ego being hurt by the fact that she is sleeping with someone else. And now all of a sudden you care about her daughter . . . that just doesn't ring true, it sounds more judgmental again . . . you don't think she should be sleeping with someone so soon. Well, guess what, she is. It has nothing to do with you.
It really bothers me to hear someone judged so harshly for being sick and being married and having financial problems . . . if you are so against those types of problems then give the next candidate a questionnaire and I sure hope the person doesn't get sick after the fact because we know how that disgusts you.
Sorry it bothers you. However, I never called them failures, you did. Never the less, you are continued to have your opinion, just like everyone else's. Sounds like this has hit a cord within you. Perhaps you are dealing with something similar in your life? With all the negativity you are saying in each of your posts, it has to be something. I am just stating the facts. They are what they are. You can read into them anyway you choose. We already know where you stand on this. Thank you for your input.
She is crazy. I don't really mean like clinically, I just mean that she will twist things every which way to make her seem right and keep drama as a constant in her life. Let her go. Her daughter probably did enjoy having a sane person around and hoped you would rub off on her mom. Sadly, that wasn't really possible because her mom can't handle things going right.
You did nothing wrong to her or her daughter. Move on for your own sanity.
Sorry it bothers you. However, I never called them failures, you did. Never the less, you are continued to have your opinion, just like everyone else's. Sounds like this has hit a cord within you. Perhaps you are dealing with something similar in your life? With all the negativity you are saying in each of your posts, it has to be something. I am just stating the facts. They are what they are. You can read into them anyway you choose. We already know where you stand on this. Thank you for your input.
What bothers me is your spin on someone's life . . . you are "taking her inventory," while giving yourself a free ride. You are judging her harshly for a myriad of "crimes" - what was the point of listing all of her sicknesses . . .you could have just said she has health issues, but instead, the way you listed each ailment it was like you were building a case . . .
If you notice many of the males who have commented have said horrible things about someone they don't even know . . . "she's crazy," they are glad you are done with the "basket case," etc. That is so disrespectful and you are the nice, clean "victim" in this scenario . . . the knight in shining armor.
It bothers me that people are so willing to judge this woman from your analysis of her and your perspective, which is obviously skewed, because you have a beef with her for sleeping with someone else.
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If you notice many of the males who have commented have said horrible things about someone they don't even know . . . "she's crazy," they are glad you are done with the "basket case," etc. That is so disrespectful and you are the nice, clean "victim" in this scenario . . . the knight in shining armor.
It bothers me that people are so willing to judge this woman from your analysis of her and your perspective, which is obviously skewed, because you have a beef with her for sleeping with someone else.
Since I was the one that referred to her as a basket case, I thought I would respond. I have no idea if the OP is describing her honestly or his actions towards her fairly. However it is immaterial to answering his angst concerning the failed relationship. I think he has acknowledge his part in that.
Speaking for myself, I am always willing to judge someone for their actions and lifestyle. I do not buy into the notion of PC (political correctness) or any other blather that seeks to make poor choices acceptable. A bad tree does not bear good fruit.
As described, 2 failed marriages, one abusive. A laundry list of medical problems some the hallmark of the hypochondriac. Poor skills when handling finances. A pretense of care for a child but not when personal pleasure comes first. Now is any of this true? Neither I, nor you, can know for sure. All we can go by is what is reported.
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