Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This thread's almost three years old. It is true that the vast majority of people, at least here in the US, do not buy their first house until they are married...although for some, that's simply because they found their future spouse while still in college or whatever and couldn't afford a house until their early 30s. That said, assuming the OP went ahead and bought a house...as long as he's living well within his means and chose a decent location, I think he made an excellent decision for himself. I fail to see how owning a home prevents a person from traveling, again provided he has sufficient disposable income and is living within his means. Arrangements for yardwork, any pets, etc. can be made. I think one's JOB, depending on his length of time there and the company's vacation/PTO policy, would arguably be a bigger deterrent to any significant travel.
I do hope that the OP realized though that he will likely stumble across that special someone when he least expects it...and that healthy relationships are also partnerships...decisions (especially major ones) are almost always jointly made as a team after you marry. I also hope that the OP understands that the longer he spends living by himself, the harder it may be to adjust to living with someone else...especially a girlfriend or spouse, and especially if he tends to be a loner. If he feels - even subconsciously or involuntarily - that his "space" is being "invaded", then that may lead to trouble down the road. If the woman feels like she's encroaching on him or feels like he's "fitting" her into his world or feels like he values the house more than her, that may be a problem too.
Making responsible decisions for yourself is an attractive trait to just about anyone. But some such decisions may carry external risks and consequences beyond your control, even if the decision was a wise one for yourself. One needs to consider the long term (and not just financially) and the big picture when deciding whether to buy a house (to live in) or not while still in your 20s and still single. This is not an argument for or against homeownership; I'm simply saying that as long as you really thought it through from multiple perspectives, and are OK with the potential negatives, then it's all good.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ
The only negative side to it I can see is that most women prefer having at least a say (not to mention it's often their decision) in the house they're going to live in after they get married. Ideally, this should be a joint decision. Also, your place will likely be small and inadequate for a family. In a normal market having it would be OK as you can always sell it should you get married and your needs change. Now, though, you may very well be stuck with it for many years to come. If you don’t see marriage in your future any time soon, none of the above applies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca
Home ownership would be a neutral factor, as far as I am concerned. So much depends on the details. For example, exactly, how much of this home are you going to own? For most buyers, "home ownership" begins as something illusory and stays that way for a long time; you have little to no equity but a huge financial obligation, and if you have a garden-variety mortgage, you will probably spend the first few years just paying interest. While entering into a major financial transaction may be a sign of maturity, I have seen too many people during the last housing boom buy houses they clearly couldn't afford on terms that weren't just unfavorable but downright crazy, to automatically link the purchase of a home with "responsibility".
Another issue is that many women in your "dating range" (I'm assuming early to mid-twenties -- sorry if I've assumed wrong) may see home ownership at this time in your life as, well, limiting. That is, while I don't know your precise financial circumstances, just based on your age and where most middle class people are at 25, you probably will be sinking all or most of your disposable income into the mortgage and home maintenance -- leaving you very little for recreation and entertainment. Women this age may not be ready for this whole suburban thing (suburban in culture, not necessarily geography) -- weekends and vacations spent shopping for fixtures and doing home improvement as opposed to, say, travel. Not saying your choices are wrong, just thinking about how they may be viewed.
As for charging rent two to three times your mortgage -- I'm dubious. I hope you've researched this. I'm sure there are stories to the contrary, but here in NYC and New Jersey, rents are generally much lower than mortgage payments. There is a premium for the privilege of home ownership. Some people do rent out their homes, but they do so at a loss, hoping that the eventual increase in the resale value of the property will make up the shortfall. I am not familiar with the market in Pittsburgh, and perhaps there are places in this country where it's possible to pay one's mortgage just by renting the place out. But two to three times the mortgage payment? I don't know.
These posts are good arguments as to why a woman may be negative, neutral or ambivalent towards a guy who bought his own house.
At the end of the day, the devil is in the details. Simply buying and owning a house reveals very little about the guy's stability, decision-making skills and ability to be responsible.
I'm 25 and buying a decent little place this Spring no matter what...but I just about laughed my @ss off today when a coworker told me that this was a bad thing to do and that she personally would view it as a red flag, and would never date a guy in his twenties with a home/mortgage. Am I missing something here? Shouldn't it be a plus for a guy to have his own place, let alone a nice place that's building equity and even able to be rented out for potentially two-to-three times the monthly mortgage rate that he locks in? I'm really missing something with this one...
Enlighten me...please.
Dunno what that chick is talking about. 26 and I'm finalizing the deal to sell my first home I bought at 23. I'm making a killing and buying my second home. I'm doing better with women than I was in college, and that's saying a lot. It is not a turn off by any means in my experience. It's just a tight bachelor pad that as long as the market holds up, you get some money back when you sell instead of renting and throwing your money in a pit.
I think home ownership is a poor decision for most single people, and even some young couples. You have to be really sure that the value of your home is going to go up, and that means choosing one in a desirable location -- also, one that doesn't need a lot of fixing up and ongoing maintenance (e.g., a newer home).
When I was married, I bough a condo with my ex. Even though the value has more than tripled, I ended up slightly in the hole. There were taxes, HOA dues, repairs, home owners' insurance, taxes, etc. The first three years we lived there, we spent more than our equity in special assessments. If we had been smart, we would have flipped it after three years.
As many people have pointed out, once you do decide to get married or co-habitate, it's only fair to take your S.O.'s tastes into consideration. It's sort of presumptive for one person to say, "Hey I own this place, so we're going to live here." That's not a great way to balance a relationship or marriage, except in one instance: if you own the home and the other person doesn't work. Then, as far as I'm concerned, they have very little say in the matter.
I've heard it said that home ownership only makes sense when the cost of your rent far exceeds the cost of the average mortgage + all of those incidentals. I took all of my spare cash, invested it, and receive a nice little (partial) return once a month that I can use to pay my car insurance, vacations, etc. When/if I ever marry again, I would consider owning a home. But not as a single, sole wage-earner. It doesn't make sense, economically -- at least not in the city where I live.
Your coworker says you shouldn't own a home and mine seem to think buying a home is an impulse purchase. Interesting. To answer your question, as long as you can afford it there shouldn't be a problem with that.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
