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Finally asked out a girl I had had my eye on for roughly a month or so. We're both in graduate school, have classes together, work together as grad asst., etc..... asked her out to dinner back in October and combined dinner and a movie with going as we were to a buddy of mine's Halloween party that same night. dinner went well, movie was good / casual atmosphere, party was a blast even though we weren't in costume haha. got some drinks in me, one or two in her, had a female friend of mine drive all of us home (she was the sober one) in my car. got to my date's apt to drop her off, walked her up to her apt inside the building she unlocks the door, apt is totally pitch black she turns the lights on and says "good they're not here" in reference to her 3 roommates. then proceeds to ask me if i want to come in. i politely decline mainly because i basically knew what she had in mind and wanted to be the "nice guy" which i typically am. we hug she goes inside and i head back down to my ride and head off to my place. night ends.
next day i ask her if she wants to hang out and she invites me to her apt to watch a movie with her roommates. basically spends the entire time conversing with her roommates almost like i wasn't there and afterwards i yawn lol and call it an evening. head back home.
ever since then now almost a month later we rarely talk and when i did ask to see if she wanted to go out again she magically now is very busy .
now......yes i know i shouldn't assume she was inviting me in for sex, but keep in mind i know her roommates and these are girls who NEVER leave their place, let alone magically all 3 are gone at 3 am and her line was "good they're not here".
did i offend her by not coming in that night? i actually wanted to date this girl and have had bad experiences with sex on the first date so i wanted to avoid that with her and figured i'd portray myself as again the "good guy" who wasn't after her for her "goodies" ha!!
guess next time this comes up i'm going inside and plowing through it .
Do you think abstinence has some benefits in light of your past experiences ? Just curious.
Do you think abstinence has some benefits in light of your past experiences ? Just curious.
i do but only because any girl ive ever slept with basically right off the bat the relationship turns south immediately becomes stagnate and falls apart. relationships ive had where sex wasnt or didnt become the primary factor actually gave themselves a chance.
Hah, my current roommate, who is female, we met some years ago when she was in college and I just got out of the Army. She had invited me over to her campus to 'hang out'. Little did I know that she had other plans. We get back from wherever we were that night and she asked me if wanted to hang at her dorm room for a while. We chilled, it got late, and she said I could spend the night, so we cuddled that night and the she proceeds to ask me if I had a condom. I was like, no...but we sill made out. We didn't take the relationsip past that point, but we are good friends 7 years later.
We talked about that time, and she said she was testing me....right. She said if we did have sex, she may have never talked to me ever again. To be honest, I'm glad I didn't, shes a mess at times.
Location: Austin, TX/Chicago, IL/Houston, TX/Washington, DC
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LOL this happens?
A chick really denies you a 2nd date because you didn't sleep with her on the first? Okay first of all what guy on Earth holds up a girl rather than a girl holding up a guy when it comes to sex?
Honestly yes, I have avoided sex on the first date before, but in all honesty it wasn't because of her, but it was because at times you don't take things that fast its just screwed up if you do. I have had sex on the first date before. It all depends on the girl, if she is more aggressive and more I guess open, then you do it. If she isn't and if she likes to take things on her own pace then don't.
But seriously this is hilarious! A girl denied you a 2nd date because you refused to have sex with her on the first? ROFLMFAO
" Guys - ever been denied a second date b/c you didn't sleep with her on the first?"
On all dates it's usually a good idea for the guy (while you're having dinner) to ask the woman which motel you should go to later.
Finally asked out a girl I had had my eye on for roughly a month or so. We're both in graduate school, have classes together, work together as grad asst., etc..... asked her out to dinner back in October and combined dinner and a movie with going as we were to a buddy of mine's Halloween party that same night. dinner went well, movie was good / casual atmosphere, party was a blast even though we weren't in costume haha. got some drinks in me, one or two in her, had a female friend of mine drive all of us home (she was the sober one) in my car. got to my date's apt to drop her off, walked her up to her apt inside the building she unlocks the door, apt is totally pitch black she turns the lights on and says "good they're not here" in reference to her 3 roommates. then proceeds to ask me if i want to come in. i politely decline mainly because i basically knew what she had in mind and wanted to be the "nice guy" which i typically am. we hug she goes inside and i head back down to my ride and head off to my place. night ends.
next day i ask her if she wants to hang out and she invites me to her apt to watch a movie with her roommates. basically spends the entire time conversing with her roommates almost like i wasn't there and afterwards i yawn lol and call it an evening. head back home.
ever since then now almost a month later we rarely talk and when i did ask to see if she wanted to go out again she magically now is very busy .
now......yes i know i shouldn't assume she was inviting me in for sex, but keep in mind i know her roommates and these are girls who NEVER leave their place, let alone magically all 3 are gone at 3 am and her line was "good they're not here".
did i offend her by not coming in that night? i actually wanted to date this girl and have had bad experiences with sex on the first date so i wanted to avoid that with her and figured i'd portray myself as again the "good guy" who wasn't after her for her "goodies" ha!!
guess next time this comes up i'm going inside and plowing through it .
Been there, done that. What I've found is that women are more forgiving if you move to fast rather than never make a move. The guy that moves too fast might be told to slow down, but he'll be respected for his aggressiveness which for many women is a turn-on. On the other hand the guys that never make a move gets seen as a wuss, which is unattractive, so the women move on to greener pastures.
There's a PUA saying, "Make the ho say no.", that espouses the idiology that it's best to be a man and go after what you want rather than come across as a wussy "nice guy" that's too chicken**** to go after what he wants.
There's a PUA saying, "Make the ho say no.", that espouses the idiology that it's best to be a man and go after what you want rather than come across as a wussy "nice guy" that's too chicken**** to go after what he wants.
You know, I happen to concur with your cited PUA idiology. Furthermore, I find the two words "ho" and "no" to be kinda oxymoronish.....don't you? I mean the PUA's world consists of such creatures and really shouldn't be concerned with a second date because after all, the goal is to "hit it and quit it"......NEXT!!
Ahhh, PUA's.......ho's would get no love if not for them!
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I mean the PUA's world consists of such creatures and really shouldn't be concerned with a second date because after all, the goal is to "hit it and quit it"......NEXT!! 
