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Im dating this guy who I find to be overly emotional. In small doses I could see this being normal but as I am a person of extremes I've noticed I seem to be attracted to men who are 180 degrees on the other side of the spectrum from me. While subconsciously I'm sure I am attracted to this type of guy, on the cellular level it repulses me.
He seems to get upset over EVERYTHING. Last night I told him I felt "uncomfortable" and we had a 4 hour convo about it. Four exhausting hours of me trying to explain to him that it wasn't him making me uncomfortable. Whenever I get upset he FREAKS out. Literally gets up in my face and asks me repeatedly to talk to him or "whats wrong", "baby" this and "baby" that. Basically to the point of annoying answers out of me. He grabs at me (not violently) and forces these time consuming conversations about nothing. Often times I see his eyes well up with tears.
I dont know what to do. This screams insecure to me but I know I am a little detached and often times cold. I do really like him but I need to keep my sanity and more importantly get some sleep.
Im dating this guy who I find to be overly emotional. In small doses I could see this being normal but as I am a person of extremes I've noticed I seem to be attracted to men who are 180 degrees on the other side of the spectrum from me. While subconsciously I'm sure I am attracted to this type of guy, on the cellular level it repulses me.
He seems to get upset over EVERYTHING. Last night I told him I felt "uncomfortable" and we had a 4 hour convo about it. Four exhausting hours of me trying to explain to him that it wasn't him making me uncomfortable. Whenever I get upset he FREAKS out. Literally gets up in my face and asks me repeatedly to talk to him or "whats wrong", "baby" this and "baby" that. Basically to the point of annoying answers out of me. He grabs at me (not violently) and forces these time consuming conversations about nothing. Often times I see his eyes well up with tears.
I dont know what to do. This screams insecure to me but I know I am a little detached and often times cold. I do really like him but I need to keep my sanity and more importantly get some sleep.
Any suggestions? Anyone ever experienced this?
Yeah, maybe he actually cares and YOU are driving a [probably] normal level-headed guy with true feelings to an overly emotional guy because you are heartless. Eh iono.
honestly he sounds like her just realy cares and wants you to be happy, when your cold or distant it probably makes him just as uncomfortable as his wanting to talk about it does to you...
sounds like hes trying to be supportive find out whats bothering you (on a deeper level than "its nothing") so he can try to fix it.
if you REALY like this guy have a talk with him about how you like that hes sensitive to your needs but sometimes its just a little too much and you need your space, and that you would prefer it if he would let you come to him when your ready to talk about it rather than the more forward aproach hes using.
(mabe his last gf told him he wasnt supportive enough, or mabe hes just a sensitive guy)
if however as you said about being subconsiously attracted (but arnt certain) and his sensitivity bothers you, you need to start looking for more assertive dominant type men...a submissive man will never work for you...most submissive men (or at least those ive known) are very intune and quite sensitive, his behaviour isnt abnormal at all.
but i do think your admitted coldness and distance is probably putting this normally sensitive guy into overdrive.
perhaps instead of looking for a submissive man all over you need a man whos assertive in life but submissive in the bedroom?!
Frankly the guy sounds emotionally needy and insecure. Not two traits I find attractive in the opposite sex OR friends for that matter. I would really evaluate if the relationship is even worth your time and see if you really want this to go further...
Someone else said you being cold and distant is causing this which I guess to a certain degree I'd agree BUT the guy is going to be sensitive no matter how you are.
Im dating this guy who I find to be overly emotional. In small doses I could see this being normal but as I am a person of extremes I've noticed I seem to be attracted to men who are 180 degrees on the other side of the spectrum from me. While subconsciously I'm sure I am attracted to this type of guy, on the cellular level it repulses me.
He seems to get upset over EVERYTHING. Last night I told him I felt "uncomfortable" and we had a 4 hour convo about it. Four exhausting hours of me trying to explain to him that it wasn't him making me uncomfortable. Whenever I get upset he FREAKS out. Literally gets up in my face and asks me repeatedly to talk to him or "whats wrong", "baby" this and "baby" that. Basically to the point of annoying answers out of me. He grabs at me (not violently) and forces these time consuming conversations about nothing. Often times I see his eyes well up with tears.
I dont know what to do. This screams insecure to me but I know I am a little detached and often times cold. I do really like him but I need to keep my sanity and more importantly get some sleep.
Any suggestions? Anyone ever experienced this?
Sounds like childhood trauma rearing its ugly little head to me. Most likely his mother blamed him for everything and PUNISHED him by ignoring him. Or perhaps she died when he was quite young and he never resolved the feelings that somehow it was his fault.
Sounds like some professional therapy could be in order. He needs to find out why he is compelled to feel this way.
I'm more like you. Not necessarily cold and distant, but certainly non-emotional and pretty non-communicative as well. The type of behavior you are describing your BF doing would absolutely drive me to drink. I'm sure there are many women out there who would relish at the opportunity to have a man who wanted to analyze everything and talk it through, but you're not that type of person. My personal opinion is that continuing on in this relationship will prove unhealthy for the both of you. He will continue to annoy you because of his need for reassurance and you will continue to make him feel insecure because of your coldness and disinterest in communicating with him to satisfy his emotional insecurities.
I had to find a man who was more like me. When we disagree, we ignore each other awhile and move on. We've never had a 4 hour emotional conversation in the 4 years we've known each other and don't intend to.
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