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Met this woman through Match.com. She's 36, I'm 31. About 2 weeks ago, we had our first date. It went well. We were both laughing and smiling, basically having a good time. I walked her to her car and kissed her goodnight. I felt something with her I had not felt from another woman in some time. So, everything I did with her, I did from the heart. Did not wait 2 day rule to call, not spend more than 5 minutes on the phone, not text, etc. Next day I called her and got a voicemail. Left a message, then she called me back two days later. Since it was already Friday, it was going to be tough to get a date with her for the weekend. Plus, with Christmas around the corner, the days of availability are going to be tough. I said let's go to Dave & Busters on Tuesday. She said sure, she would love to. She gave me her address and I said I'd be there around 6.
I arrive 10 minutes early and ring the bell. She answers the door and and gives me hello kiss on the lips. Thought that was nice. Walked to the car and drove to Dave & Busters. She told me her brother was in the hospital for heart issues. He's about 8 years her senior. I said I am sorry to hear. She said yea, but they think he'll pull through with no issues. I am glad I said. We played some games and had dinner. Holding hands on and off and a bit touchy here and there. We left and she said, you know Sam, I enjoy your company. You're fun to be around. I said thanks, I do my best to entertain. And laughed. Since I had plans on Saturday with some friends and she had a Christmas party on Friday at work, I asked you up for something on Sunday? She said, sure, that would be great. Arrived at her place, had a brief kissing session, well, we started and stopped a few times. Not going to get into detail, but she seemed happy with it. I have a small car, so turning to each other was a bit of an issue. She then got out of the car and said see you Sunday. She also texted like 30 minutes later, enjoyed our time together, looking forward to Sunday. Good night!.
I was thinking it would be nice to spend time with her on New Years, so a couple days later, I called her and got her voicemail. Left a message saying hey Amy, I was looking at some things to do for New Years and wanted to see if you were up for something. Give me a call. Next day, still no call. I then decided to text her. She replied back pretty fast and said, yes, got your message. Sorry I had not responded, I've been at the hospital with the family for my brother for the last two days. He had surgery on his heart, but his is okay now. Listen, I need to cancel Sunday's plans and just need some time for things to calm down. I hope you understand. Said not an issue. Family is the most important thing we got, so take whatever time you need for your brother. She said, thanks, I will call you when things are calm and stable.
So, I am here, and do not know what to do or say. I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt, as I do not think anyone would do all of this and then pull something like this at the last minute. However, a text after I called would had been nice, but, assuming this is true, I am sure I am the farthest thing from her mind. However, I really do not want to write her off.
No, I understand that. However, a couple of guys said it is possible she could just of made that up. Or, even if she did not make it up, she could just use this as a convenient excuse to stop dating. Instead of saying, hey I am not interested in seeing you any longer, just put something like this together. I find it highly improbable, but couple of my co-workers said it is possible. I've never experienced a woman doing this, usually, they just poof or say no longer interested. After all, why would a woman go through all of that at the end of the second date just to cancel everything two days later? Makes no sense. And, if she really wanted nothing to do with me, then why respond to my text immediately and not ignore it like the phone call?
I agree. She said she'd call when things are stable. If she eventually she calls you, she is interested. If she doesn't call, she's not interested. it's not like this is a serious relationship, you hardly know her. What's the big deal?
Has nothing to do with being desperate. Just trying to understand the situation. Would it be too forward to send her a text on Christmas eve wishing her a Merry Christmas and seeing how her brother is doing? I have been told that is a nice gesture.
Playing it cool and laying low and giving her some time and space right now is what ya need to do, cowboy. The reasons for this are two-fold: 1-- Assuming that she's telling the truth about needing time to sort things out, and to support her brother--and she most likely is--you'll be showing tolerance and support and compassion towards her and her plight.
2-- You should know by now that all women are turned-off by a guy pressing to hard or seeming too needy. So...Lay low and chill out, perhaps even act a bit aloof, and you'll go up a few notches in her book, plus pique her interest in you all the more.
Oh, and sending her a sympathy card about her bro might be a classy move. But just make sure this is the only contact you proffer before she contacts you again.
Last edited by DrummerBoy; 12-20-2010 at 10:26 PM..
Can't do that, unless I go back to her place and drop the card off myself. I know her address, tel and e mail, not her surname. So the only thing I can do is send a text or e mail to see how she and he are doing. Since Christmas is Saturday, I just about everyone is telling me to send a text saying Merry Christmas and checking to see how her brother is doing. They said, it is possibly a catch 22, but doing nothing shows you really do not care at all.
It would be over a week since I last contacted her, so it is not like I am always contacting her. Also, I know how it is, as my father just had a quadruple bypass heart surgery a few years ago. Thank god he's okay, but those weeks after were hit and miss.
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