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I don't think there's a single time when splitting up wasn't her decision. Even the druggie. I told her that if it didn't change, it was over...it didn't change.
But if I love someone, I can never wish harm upon them. Someone I don't know or care about? No problem. If...George Clooney...died tomorrow, it wouldn't matter to me (and he's not even particularly annoying). Not that I wish harm on him, it simply doesn't matter either way. The people that matter to me do matter, and the people who don't, don't matter.
The only people I can wish harm on are those who are intent on harming me in any interaction we have.
I don't wish my ex well at all. I talk about throwing her under the bus. It is a figure os speech for those who don't have a clue.
Last spring she broke her foot. She thought she could call me. I told her "no phone calls." it was in the middle of the proceedings and she is the last person I'd talk to. I am sure if I'd answer I'd a said something like "so? What's your point?"
It wasn't finalized. My hands were tied. I just sat back and waited for it to be all done. I wasn't going to be mean, but I sure as hell wasn't going to kind either.
Do you ever wish physical harm would come to your ex?
No.
I never "wish" physical harm upon anyone. Well, actualy, if they are people who harm animals or children, then YES not only do I "wish" harm to them, I would love to be first in line to personally administer the harm.
But I never wish anything negative to happen to any ex (or friend) I ever had.
I agree with you completely. I'm not acting out or anything. I do live a good live and I'm getting married in a few short months to a wonderful woman. In fact, I'm happier now than I ever remember being in my previous relationship.
I just wondered if I was alone in wishing ill will to an ex.
Happier now than ever? Hmm....no offense, but I seriously have trouble believing that. There's an old school of thought that puts forth the premise that there is a very fine line between love and hate. That is, in order to truly "hate" someone--or to wish them bodily harm--you have to still love them, or at least have some residual strong feelings for them.
So...I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that I feel you still, deep down, have feelings for your ex, and that, truth be told, if she were to call you up tomorrow and say all is forgiven and she's decided she can't live without you and wants you back, you'd come running. I'm also guessing that she was the one who broke off your marriage with her.
But I could be wrong; it wouldn't be the first time. If so, I apologize.
I never "wish" physical harm upon anyone. Well, actualy, if they are people who harm animals or children, then yes not only do i "wish" harm to them, i would love to be first in line to personally administer the harm.
But i never wish anything negative to happen to any ex (or friend) i ever had.
I won't lie, for as level headed as I believe myself to be, I can't help but wish my ex would be hit by a bus. I know it's an irrational feeling devoid of any pragmatic thinking but gee whiz, if I were to read about it I can honestly say I wouldn't feel about about it.
When I was married I fantasized CONSTANTLY about my husband's death. It was my only escape and going there brought me a huge sense of relief. I would think about what I would wear to the funeral, how I would behave in front of his friends and family, etc. He is an alcoholic and was also a heavy coke user at the time, and since his father was also a drunk and had died of a heart attack in his forties, I thought there might be a good possibility he would die young, too. The bastid is 54 and still alive, by the way, but I divorced him 10 years ago.
I didn't think divorce would be a possibility because I was afraid he'd take our daughter who was small at the time and just disappear, so his death seemed the only way out. Then I discovered our state's restraining order system--to threaten to take a child and disappear is cause for an RO.
At one point the house we were renting burned down. He was home and inside the house when it happened, and managed to get out with smoke inhalation and some burns on his hands, but my precious cat died in the fire. I was SO angry about that--that my cat died and that POS I was married to survived.
I think wishing someone dead comes from a sense of wanting to be relieved of all the pain and anxiety they cause. It gets to be overwhelming after a while. Divorce is a much better idea because while painful, it is temporary and then you are free. It is a very short hop from wishing someone was dead to starting to think about how you could make it happen, and that's not a good road to walk down.
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