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You don’t NEED to change your last name if you don’t want to. All the women who don’t change their last name don’t lose their marriage. I have not only seen this in the USA and other western countries but even in less developed countries. If they want to take their husband’s last name, it’s their thing. Hey! Even Jayz could have changed or did change his last name to HIS WIFE’S. It’s a free country where you live.
Yup. That's exactly the point we've all been making. You don't NEED to do ANY OF THE STUFF you've been complaining about. None of it. It's a free country.
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Originally Posted by onihC
How about no ring at all
"Lesser scale" certainly includes no ring at all. I already said that earlier.
You don’t NEED to change your last name if you don’t want to. All the women who don’t change their last name don’t lose their marriage. I have not only seen this in the USA and other western countries but even in less developed countries. If they want to take their husband’s last name, it’s their thing. Hey! Even Jayz could have changed or did change his last name to HIS WIFE’S. It’s a free country where you live.
But Julia's point is that there was a thread here not long ago (and I can't find it either) where a fair number of men said it would be insulting and a deal-breaker showing a lack of commitment if their wives did not take their names after marriage. So apparently it's not just an obsolete tradition to some people, and it's definitely one-sided and doesn't benefit women.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 02-10-2011 at 10:31 AM..
What's the rule of thumb if I happen to call off the engagement in the future? Do I get the ring back ?
Not sure if this is would be considered "real" legal stuff but on one of those judge shows the "judge" said that if the woman broke off the engagement she does not get to keep the ring because it's a gift contingent on marriage so if she doesn't fulfill the agreement to marry, it is not hers. Once she does it becomes hers, so she would get to keep it in a divorce. But I don't know if the same thing applies if the man breaks off the engagement.
Yup. That's exactly the point we've all been making. You don't NEED to do ANY OF THE STUFF you've been complaining about. None of it. It's a free country.
When I am in the USA I don’t do any of those things and still have no problem going out. I know it’s not normal to go against those certain dating rules/traditions but I don’t mind. There are a few women out there who are fine going against those rules/traditions as well. It would be easier to go with the rules/traditions but that is not what I like just like women generally prefer to follow them for obvious reasons.
Quote:
"Lesser scale" certainly includes no ring at all. I already said that earlier.
Look for past threads on the subject and you’ll see I am not making this up. Some women have said they got married with no ring but asked for one later on. Some got a ring and thought it was not as pretty or luxurious and asked for an upgrade later on. Now, are there women out there who don’t get their dreamy shiny big ring at all and don’t ever nag the husband to buy them one? Sure, exceptions exist of course.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
But Julia's point is that there was a thread here not long ago (and I can't find it either) where a fair number of men said it would be insulting and a deal-breaker showing a lack of commitment if their wives did not take their names after marriage. So apparently it's not just an obsolete tradition to some people, and it's definitely one-sided and doesn't benefit women.
It would be interesting to start a thread if you can’t find that one. If changing your last name means you have a guy taking the initiative for you, romancing you, taking care of your expenses, taking you out, being a gentleman, having him propose to you, receiving that ring you dreamed of since you were a child, etc. why not? Then again, you can still enjoy all those things AND keep your last name. Did you change your last name?
Look for past threads on the subject and you’ll see I am not making this up. Some women have said they got married with no ring but asked for one later on. Some got a ring and thought it was not as pretty or luxurious and asked for an upgrade later on. Now, are there women out there who don’t get their dreamy shiny big ring at all and don’t ever nag the husband to buy them one? Sure, exceptions exist of course.
My point is that there are LOTS of women who don't do this. You're complaining about something that isn't even an issue for most people. The people that consider it a "dealbreaker" are in the minority.
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Originally Posted by onihC
If changing your last name means you have a guy taking the initiative for you, romancing you, taking care of your expenses, taking you out, being a gentleman, having him propose to you, receiving that ring you dreamed of since you were a child, etc.
It doesn't. One has nothing to do with the other. You need to stop bundling everything as one big generalization. It is not viewed that way by most people.
Last edited by ChessieMom; 02-10-2011 at 11:00 AM..
My point is that there are LOTS of women who don't do this. You're complaining about something that isn't even an issue for most people. The people that consider it a "dealbreaker" are in the minority.
But I am not complaining. I could say the same about you just because you don’t agree with me. I already said what I prefer and if women prefer to follow traditions and dating rules for obvious reasons, then that’s their thing. Just because a guy disagrees with a woman it doesn’t mean he’s complaining or trying to control her.
Aaaaaanyways, if women don’t want to do it, that’s their decision but it is not because they get their arm twisted. I don’t get my arm twisted to go out with girls who just show up to the date because “that is the way it should be…a man is supposed to take initiative and do it all…that is the tradition…etc.” I don’t go out with them because I just don’t want to. So I go out with a kind of girl where we are both comfortable with each other. There are lots of couples who are happy having the guy take the initiative, take care of her expenses, propose, buy her the ring of her dreams, etc. while she doesn’t offer any of those things. Fine, that’s how they go. I go a different way. To each, their own.
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It doesn't. One has nothing to do with the other. You need to stop bundling everything as one big generalization. It is not viewed that way by most people.
Look around these threads, google the terms I have mentioned before (dating rules…who pays on a date…chivalry…engagement ring…etc), look around you next time your guy takes you out, etc. and you’ll see I am not making this stuff up.
But I am not complaining. I could say the same about you just because you don’t agree with me. I already said what I prefer and if women prefer to follow traditions and dating rules for obvious reasons, then that’s their thing.
Look around these threads, google the terms I have mentioned before (dating rules…who pays on a date…chivalry…engagement ring…etc), look around you next time your guy takes you out, etc. and you’ll see I am not making this stuff up.
Onih, I WILL buy your pink tutu and a huge flashy ring if you just give it a rest!
Onih, I WILL buy your pink tutu and a huge flashy ring if you just give it a rest!
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