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About a month ago after several weeks of no contact, my ex-girlfriend had contacted me for an odd reason and continued the conversation to include the usual topics, "what have you been up to," and "how are you," etc. She concluded by saying she would like to meet up to talk about something. So I agreed and we met up last week. We have been broken up since last October and have chatted since but not much; our relationship lasted 4.5yrs before breaking up.
It was good to see her since I had not seen her for over 2 months. We met up at a nice restaurant and split a burger and salad and had a few drinks. We had a nice conversation and then she mentioned that she wanted to tell me that the guy she had told me she went out with in December, she is still seeing casually, and she wanted me to know about it from her, and not someone else because more people are finding out about it.
She also mentioned that he moved across the country to California two weeks ago for a new job opportunity. And she is going to go spend a week with him for spring break in April. He is 37 she is 25. He is a doctor and sounds like quite a nice guy and she seems excited about it. But says they aren't in love or anything like that and she doesn't consider him her boyfriend at this point, (although I'm sure she would like to).
She has 2 years left of her nursing program and she likes that he is in the same field of work she is. I'm sure she also attracted to his success in his career and the security of his future. In contrast to me (25) aspiring entrepreneur, hard working, driven, confident, positive, motivated, in shape, athletic, attractive, good person; however, no where near as successful as her new doctor friend I am sure, not yet anyways.
It is hard for me to hear as I still love her a lot and want another chance to make things right with her. She knows this. She also knows that I am not going to wait around forever, or put my life on hold for her. Even though it's hard for me to do I made it clear that I am happy for her if she is happy with this new guy and told her I respect her decision and wished her good luck.
She did mention she was mad at her best friend for telling her she didn't like this guy and for saying it will never work. I continued to be supportive and say that you shouldn't listen to what other people say, you have to do what makes "you" happy. She did ask that if I tell people that she is seeing someone, not to mention that he's a "doctor" because that's not why she is with him. Ha, I thought. After 4 hours together I gave her a hug and we said our goodbyes. What is the point of meeting up to tell me this?????
She either regards you as a friend, or is stringing you along as a backup in case things don't work out with her current bf. However, if you're the alternate, you would probably only be so until someone "better" came along later. Since you don't say why you broke up or who instigated it (I suspect it was her), this is just pure speculation.
About a month ago after several weeks of no contact, my ex-girlfriend had contacted me for an odd reason and continued the conversation to include the usual topics, "what have you been up to," and "how are you," etc. She concluded by saying she would like to meet up to talk about something. So I agreed and we met up last week. We have been broken up since last October and have chatted since but not much; our relationship lasted 4.5yrs before breaking up.
It was good to see her since I had not seen her for over 2 months. We met up at a nice restaurant and split a burger and salad and had a few drinks. We had a nice conversation and then she mentioned that she wanted to tell me that the guy she had told me she went out with in December, she is still seeing casually, and she wanted me to know about it from her, and not someone else because more people are finding out about it.
She also mentioned that he moved across the country to California two weeks ago for a new job opportunity. And she is going to go spend a week with him for spring break in April. He is 37 she is 25. He is a doctor and sounds like quite a nice guy and she seems excited about it. But says they aren't in love or anything like that and she doesn't consider him her boyfriend at this point, (although I'm sure she would like to).
She has 2 years left of her nursing program and she likes that he is in the same field of work she is. I'm sure she also attracted to his success in his career and the security of his future. In contrast to me (25) aspiring entrepreneur, hard working, driven, confident, positive, motivated, in shape, athletic, attractive, good person; however, no where near as successful as her new doctor friend I am sure, not yet anyways.
It is hard for me to hear as I still love her a lot and want another chance to make things right with her. She knows this. She also knows that I am not going to wait around forever, or put my life on hold for her. Even though it's hard for me to do I made it clear that I am happy for her if she is happy with this new guy and told her I respect her decision and wished her good luck.
She did mention she was mad at her best friend for telling her she didn't like this guy and for saying it will never work. I continued to be supportive and say that you shouldn't listen to what other people say, you have to do what makes "you" happy. She did ask that if I tell people that she is seeing someone, not to mention that he's a "doctor" because that's not why she is with him. Ha, I thought. After 4 hours together I gave her a hug and we said our goodbyes. What is the point of meeting up to tell me this?????
She still has feelings for you and wants you in her life.
She's conflicted... she wants to move on but doesn't know if she's completely over you.
She is just using you because she feels miserable alone, and wants to keep you as a backup, if I were you, I wouldn't reciprocate, if you go back to being friends with her, she would think you have never been man enough anyway, and would feel happy for having broken up with you.
I would suggest you to cut her off gradually, all the time letting her know that you cut her off on purpose, don't say that directly, but make her feel so, that way she would know how worthy you had been, and what she had missed out on.
About a month ago after several weeks of no contact, my ex-girlfriend had contacted me for an odd reason and continued the conversation to include the usual topics, "what have you been up to," and "how are you," etc. She concluded by saying she would like to meet up to talk about something. So I agreed and we met up last week. We have been broken up since last October and have chatted since but not much; our relationship lasted 4.5yrs before breaking up.
It was good to see her since I had not seen her for over 2 months. We met up at a nice restaurant and split a burger and salad and had a few drinks. We had a nice conversation and then she mentioned that she wanted to tell me that the guy she had told me she went out with in December, she is still seeing casually, and she wanted me to know about it from her, and not someone else because more people are finding out about it.
She also mentioned that he moved across the country to California two weeks ago for a new job opportunity. And she is going to go spend a week with him for spring break in April. He is 37 she is 25. He is a doctor and sounds like quite a nice guy and she seems excited about it. But says they aren't in love or anything like that and she doesn't consider him her boyfriend at this point, (although I'm sure she would like to).
She has 2 years left of her nursing program and she likes that he is in the same field of work she is. I'm sure she also attracted to his success in his career and the security of his future. In contrast to me (25) aspiring entrepreneur, hard working, driven, confident, positive, motivated, in shape, athletic, attractive, good person; however, no where near as successful as her new doctor friend I am sure, not yet anyways.
It is hard for me to hear as I still love her a lot and want another chance to make things right with her. She knows this. She also knows that I am not going to wait around forever, or put my life on hold for her. Even though it's hard for me to do I made it clear that I am happy for her if she is happy with this new guy and told her I respect her decision and wished her good luck.
She did mention she was mad at her best friend for telling her she didn't like this guy and for saying it will never work. I continued to be supportive and say that you shouldn't listen to what other people say, you have to do what makes "you" happy. She did ask that if I tell people that she is seeing someone, not to mention that he's a "doctor" because that's not why she is with him. Ha, I thought. After 4 hours together I gave her a hug and we said our goodbyes. What is the point of meeting up to tell me this?????
She isn't gonna be happy with him. If he's a typical doctor, he's probably always working. She will get tired of him. Maybe she already knows this. Maybe she likes u and wanted to see u beg. Sounds like a fishy thing to me. and about status.. being successful isn't as fun as the journey to success. Building a life together, that's a just my thought. Doctor isn't such an exciting profession. More exciting ones would be, nascar driver, truck mechanic, corporate, or even owner of a store or something.
U play the game back by telling a story about liking some girl who disrespects u, say she gives great massages though, it would be hard for her to not pass judgement on her. This is a good test to see if she wants u back. Or maybe she just wants u to want her back. darn women.
Eh, maybe she just wanted to feel better about herself or feel like your friendship was in an okay place. I have no idea. Perhaps she was genuinely telling the truth, that she didn't want you to hear the news from someone else, but still, I think it's a little cruel to take you out to dinner and dish all about the new boyfriend.
Personally, I would arrange to be very busy in the near future. Don't be rude, but just "coincidentally" have things to do if she wants to get together again, talk on the phone, chat on the computer. I can't help but suspect that hearing all about her and the new doctor she's lusting after isn't going to be the best thing to help you recover and get you on the road to feeling better about yourself. Ultimately, that's what needs to happen here. Plus, after a 4.5 year relationship, you generally need more time and space apart to heal than what you've described here.
She also mentioned that he moved across the country to California two weeks ago for a new job opportunity. And she is going to go spend a week with him for spring break in April. He is 37 she is 25. He is a doctor and sounds like quite a nice guy and she seems excited about it. But says they aren't in love or anything like that and she doesn't consider him her boyfriend at this point, (although I'm sure she would like to).
How is she going to spend a week with him for spring break and she doesn't consider him her "boyfriend"?
Just keep her as a friend. The "girlfriend" label is long gone.
About a month ago after several weeks of no contact, my ex-girlfriend had contacted me for an odd reason and continued the conversation to include the usual topics, "what have you been up to," and "how are you," etc. She concluded by saying she would like to meet up to talk about something. So I agreed and we met up last week. We have been broken up since last October and have chatted since but not much; our relationship lasted 4.5yrs before breaking up.
It was good to see her since I had not seen her for over 2 months. We met up at a nice restaurant and split a burger and salad and had a few drinks. We had a nice conversation and then she mentioned that she wanted to tell me that the guy she had told me she went out with in December, she is still seeing casually, and she wanted me to know about it from her, and not someone else because more people are finding out about it.
She also mentioned that he moved across the country to California two weeks ago for a new job opportunity. And she is going to go spend a week with him for spring break in April. He is 37 she is 25. He is a doctor and sounds like quite a nice guy and she seems excited about it. But says they aren't in love or anything like that and she doesn't consider him her boyfriend at this point, (although I'm sure she would like to).
She has 2 years left of her nursing program and she likes that he is in the same field of work she is. I'm sure she also attracted to his success in his career and the security of his future. In contrast to me (25) aspiring entrepreneur, hard working, driven, confident, positive, motivated, in shape, athletic, attractive, good person; however, no where near as successful as her new doctor friend I am sure, not yet anyways.
It is hard for me to hear as I still love her a lot and want another chance to make things right with her. She knows this. She also knows that I am not going to wait around forever, or put my life on hold for her. Even though it's hard for me to do I made it clear that I am happy for her if she is happy with this new guy and told her I respect her decision and wished her good luck.
She did mention she was mad at her best friend for telling her she didn't like this guy and for saying it will never work. I continued to be supportive and say that you shouldn't listen to what other people say, you have to do what makes "you" happy. She did ask that if I tell people that she is seeing someone, not to mention that he's a "doctor" because that's not why she is with him. Ha, I thought. After 4 hours together I gave her a hug and we said our goodbyes. What is the point of meeting up to tell me this?????
You dodged a HUGE bullet honey and are so much better off without her.
She sounds like she's emotionally stunted at about the age of 19. Holy cow, acting like this when you are 37??
Eh, maybe she just wanted to feel better about herself or feel like your friendship was in an okay place. I have no idea. Perhaps she was genuinely telling the truth, that she didn't want you to hear the news from someone else, but still, I think it's a little cruel to take you out to dinner and dish all about the new boyfriend.
Personally, I would arrange to be very busy in the near future. Don't be rude, but just "coincidentally" have things to do if she wants to get together again, talk on the phone, chat on the computer. I can't help but suspect that hearing all about her and the new doctor she's lusting after isn't going to be the best thing to help you recover and get you on the road to feeling better about yourself. Ultimately, that's what needs to happen here. Plus, after a 4.5 year relationship, you generally need more time and space apart to heal than what you've described here.
Good luck.
I agree! I would be very busy and not be able to be there for her or hear about her life. If she continues to want to get together, I would tell her that both of you have different lives now and she needs to move on.
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