Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You shouldn't worry about rejection so much. If you ask out 50 women and 49 say no, you still have one yes. All it takes is one woman to have a relationship. No is just a word...it is not necessarily a rejection of you. Maybe she says no because she already has a bf, is a lesbian, has decided to give men up for Lent, or for any other of a bunch of reasons that really have nothing to do with you. Keep trying to get over the fear of the word no.
If someone asks you out that you weren't interested in dating... would you say yes? Or would you say no?
I'm not sure. I guess in the past I've said no. But that was back in 7th & 9th grade (the only two times I've ever been asked out) and I said no because I was forbidden to date by my parents.
The one in 7th grade I actually said no "let's just be friends", and it hurt her, and it hurt me too. I still remember how it felt. The one in 9th grade I chickened out and didn't even have the courage to say no. She'd had a friend pass me a note, and I just pretended like I'd never gotten the note.
I hate saying no. But if I really didn't like them, I'd probably find a way to say no. But I'd probably do it in a pretty cowardly fashion like in 9th grade.
If they were gay men asking me out, I'd easily be able to say no, because I don't swing that way. That is simple biology. I'm not gay, so it would be ridiculous for me to date a man.
Fortunately, being asked out by someone I'm not interested in dating hasn't ever happened to me in my adult life.
Last edited by Davros; 03-08-2011 at 05:24 PM..
Reason: Added details on 7th & 9th grade
I've never quite heard that one before. I've heard that the more you get rejected, the easier it gets. But I've never heard that it gets easier to say no.
I'm not sure. I guess in the past I've said no. But that was back in 7th & 9th grade (the only two times I've ever been asked out) and I said no because I was forbidden to date by my parents.
EDIT: The one in 7th grade I actually said no "let's just be friends", and it hurt her, and it hurt me too. I still remember how it felt. The one in 9th grade I chickened out and didn't even have the courage to say no. She'd had a friend pass me a note, and I just pretended like I'd never gotten the note.
I hate saying no. But if I really didn't like them, I'd probably find a way to say no. But I'd probably do it in a pretty cowardly fashion like in 9th grade.
If they were gay men asking me out, I'd easily be able to say no, because I don't swing that way. That is simple biology. I'm not gay, so it would be ridiculous for me to date a man.
Fortunately, being asked out by someone I'm not interested in dating hasn't ever happened to me in my adult life.
It doesn't matter if you've never been asked out before, because you're not asking anyone out anyhow it's a "what if" kind of question.
I am asking because if you're asking someone out and they say "no", it wouldn't make sense for you to say "no" to anyone asking you out knowing how you would feel when also rejected. Wouldn't you say "yes" to everyone who asked you out if you didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings?
If you say you wouldn't have a problem saying "no" to a female who you weren't interested in, what gives you the right of refusal and not them? Would they not feel just as uncomfortable as you are if you rejected them?
However, if you wouldn't have empathy for someone asking you out that you rejected with a "no" response that means there's some other underlying issue going on with being egocentric, being self centered, and not being able to handle rejection.
You shouldn't worry about rejection so much. If you ask out 50 women and 49 say no, you still have one yes. All it takes is one woman to have a relationship. No is just a word...it is not necessarily a rejection of you. Maybe she says no because she already has a bf, is a lesbian, has decided to give men up for Lent, or for any other of a bunch of reasons that really have nothing to do with you. Keep trying to get over the fear of the word no.
Odds like that aren't good for anyone's self esteem except perhaps the gal saying no. You also have to have 50 gals to ask. Many do not.
Getting rejected is something that happens to Men, all the time.
Thats how biology set us up. Men pursue. Women choose. Men get rejected. Women do the rejecting.
This is not a bash at women, I love being a man and wouldn't trade it for anything. But this is just a fact of life. I'm a young guy, probably younger than you but I know this is how it is, I accept it, and I get on with it.
Being a man and being afraid of rejection will be VERY hard. I suggest you get over it. And yes it is that simple... You just get over it.
I agree with you on the part that men are the risk takers, brave, pursuers, etc. and women are not. Except for the biology part. If this was something that had to do with biology then women wouldn't pursue careers, jobs, goals, etc. they just rather wait for a man to come up to them for all kinds of reasons.
I agree with you on the part that men are the risk takers, brave, pursuers, etc. and women are not. Except for the biology part. If this was something that had to do with biology then women wouldn't pursue careers, jobs, goals, etc. they just rather wait for a man to come up to them for all kinds of reasons.
As guys we have to face rejection and move on.
Suppose you had 100 to ask (which I don't) and 99 said NO. How many guys could make it to 100 without losing it or saying F IT? Now they know why many men today are still single. Back in the day...unless you were just flat out gross or a nut case the answer was yes a lot more than today. They upped the requirements and made it tougher that's for sure.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
