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Today I was making cookies for my friend as a small get well gift because he got badly injured and is pretty much unable to do much for a while and also he has no one to help him or anything.
My boyfriend start to ask a lot of questions and eventually he made a rude comment. So we ended up got in a huge argument.
The argument ended up lead onto other things as well. It starts to really make me questions a lot of things.
Some of the biggest reasons I am with him is because I really like how he’s career oriented man who is serious about future and money and stuff like that. I feel really secure and like to know that he will be home at night and that he’ll not run off to do something dangerous or cheat or anything.
However I’m starting to get really fed up with a couple things about him to point where it is frustrating and starting become a thorn in the side. For example, almost everything he does revolve around his career. Like he choose his clothes based on what would be appealing to clients everywhere even when not at work, he’d always bring small case of mouth wash, always look clean cut, worry about scars, etc…
On his off day he loves to just lounge around at home and hate leaving the house.
He loves television! If I try to talk to him, he would always have an eye on tv and sometime even make me wait for commercial or him to pause the video game!
He’s not quite secure, he’d get insecure if I wear a tall heel because we’re same height, worry about who I’m around, and other things.
One thing that really bother me is, when we sleep together, he don’t like to be touch at all. Other guys I’ve slept with would at least hold me for a bit or let me snuggle up to them. I feel like an old couple! Also sometime it really relaxes me when my breast is being rubbed or having my butt pats softly. My boyfriend always assumes I want sex and act like I was teasing him even after I explained him. So I no longer even try.
There are couples more, but those are some of the biggest issues.
Now I am starting to really wondering if feeling secure and being in a very stable relationship with problems that may seems “normal” is really worth it or not?
No one else knows if this will work. You have to figure it out for yourself. However if you are asking for comments, mine are in red.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelike
Some of the biggest reasons I am with him is because I really like how he’s career oriented man who is serious about future and money and stuff like that. I feel really secure and like to know that he will be home at night and that he’ll not run off to do something dangerous or cheat or anything.
However I’m starting to get really fed up with a couple things about him to point where it is frustrating and starting become a thorn in the side. For example, almost everything he does revolve around his career. Like he choose his clothes based on what would be appealing to clients everywhere even when not at work, he’d always bring small case of mouth wash, always look clean cut, worry about scars, etc… He obviously works with people and making a good impression is part of his work. I know many people that are like this, and frankly, I see absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to always present yourself at your best.
On his off day he loves to just lounge around at home and hate leaving the house. That wouldn't work for me. He loves television! If I try to talk to him, he would always have an eye on tv and sometime even make me wait for commercial or him to pause the video game! That wouldn't work either. I really wouldn't want to be with someone like this - I'd end up leaving the house without them and doing my own thing.
He’s not quite secure, he’d get insecure if I wear a tall heel because we’re same height, worry about who I’m around, and other things. Lots of guys feel the same way. No biggie either way to me.
One thing that really bother me is, when we sleep together, he don’t like to be touch at all. Other guys I’ve slept with would at least hold me for a bit or let me snuggle up to them. I feel like an old couple! Also sometime it really relaxes me when my breast is being rubbed or having my butt pats softly. My boyfriend always assumes I want sex and act like I was teasing him even after I explained him. So I no longer even try. I cannot stand to sleep up against someone, and neither can my boyfriend. We hug and kiss goodnight, and then I'm on my side and he's on his side and at the most, we'll touch hands until we fall asleep. Frankly, we simply get too hot up against each other - it has nothing to do with "being old". TONS of people feel the same way...you need to learn that.
There are couples more, but those are some of the biggest issues.
Now I am starting to really wondering if feeling secure and being in a very stable relationship with problems that may seems “normal” is really worth it or not?
You seem like you like the maturity of his career-focused personality, but not much else. You need to figure out what else you DO like and if there is enough of it there for you.
If you are not compatible then you are not compatible, in my opinion... the choices you select for a husband ARE important, just because of one experience, don't let it make you question those choices... if you want a career-oriented person who is serious, that's fine, your boyfriend may have that quality but also lacks other qualities... he sounds alot like someone I know and those people are extremely hard to get along with... I say dump him but that's just me.... there are MANY career-oriented people (like myself) for instance that aren't weird like that... every time I touch my wife, she thinks I want to have sex with her which isn't true, I just like the comfort of having someone intimate next to me.... don't worry, you'll find someone better... and yes, its definitely worth it...
Yeah security is the biggest reason I like him and thought I can deal with all little things I don’t like about him at first. I know in every relationship, person has a couple habits that annoy their partner. So I’m just wondering if this is something I should learn to accept or if he’s just not for me.
I feel almost like as if he bring his job home and his job have a lot of control over my life. Almost everything is related to his job.
What he wears, what he do, how he talk, how he interact with people, etc… It is almost never about us or me. It is always about his job and clients.
On his off day, he always say he work so much and is tired so he want to stay home and do nothing. He doesn’t seem to know what he wants besides typical keeping up with Jones thing (big screen tv, expensive sport car, super big house, and other things like that)
Yet I work full time as well and still get out and do things.
I do really like the whole thing being so stable and secure, but it is rather dull. Some says this is very normal in relationship. But when I hear of my friends talk about how their boyfriend/husband surprises them with a rose, a dinner, take them out to do things, etc… I just feel so jealous. But then, they envy a couple things about mine.
So I don’t know if this is just “grass is greener on other side of the pasture” case or not.
I feel so ashamed to admit this, but I am starting to really miss a couple of guys I have dated in the past. They may not be most secured or career minded one, but they make up for it in numerous ways.
Those "little things" (although I personally don't find them so little) which nag at you now will grow to mammoth proportions in time to come and what's a little boring now will soon have you climbing the walls. I'd have a chat with him but, if things don't change and you can't reach a compromise, then move on.
Today I was making cookies for my friend as a small get well gift because he got badly injured and is pretty much unable to do much for a while and also he has no one to help him or anything.
My boyfriend start to ask a lot of questions and eventually he made a rude comment. So we ended up got in a huge argument.
The argument ended up lead onto other things as well. It starts to really make me questions a lot of things.
Some of the biggest reasons I am with him is because I really like how he’s career oriented man who is serious about future and money and stuff like that. I feel really secure and like to know that he will be home at night and that he’ll not run off to do something dangerous or cheat or anything.
However I’m starting to get really fed up with a couple things about him to point where it is frustrating and starting become a thorn in the side. For example, almost everything he does revolve around his career. Like he choose his clothes based on what would be appealing to clients everywhere even when not at work, he’d always bring small case of mouth wash, always look clean cut, worry about scars, etc…
On his off day he loves to just lounge around at home and hate leaving the house.
He loves television! If I try to talk to him, he would always have an eye on tv and sometime even make me wait for commercial or him to pause the video game!
He’s not quite secure, he’d get insecure if I wear a tall heel because we’re same height, worry about who I’m around, and other things.
One thing that really bother me is, when we sleep together, he don’t like to be touch at all. Other guys I’ve slept with would at least hold me for a bit or let me snuggle up to them. I feel like an old couple! Also sometime it really relaxes me when my breast is being rubbed or having my butt pats softly. My boyfriend always assumes I want sex and act like I was teasing him even after I explained him. So I no longer even try.
There are couples more, but those are some of the biggest issues.
Now I am starting to really wondering if feeling secure and being in a very stable relationship with problems that may seems “normal” is really worth it or not?
Gee I just read this in..He's just not that into you!! You should read it..
Men desire women and they like to touch them..
Leave him and let him deal with his own insecurities before he makes them yours too...
Those "little things" (although I personally don't find them so little) which nag at you now will grow to mammoth proportions in time to come and what's a little boring now will soon have you climbing the walls. I'd have a chat with him but, if things don't change and you can't reach a compromise, then move on.
I second this wholeheartedly!!!
I don't know the age of the OP, but many of us have been here in our lifetimes. Little things that bug you eventually become huge things you can no longer live with. If you had a fight over baking cookies for a friend, he sounds like he is jealous, that is a red flag to me. I think I would ease out of this relationship and then break it off.
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TONS of people feel the same way...you need to learn that.
Will this work itself?
