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I have a Future SIL (glorified girlfriend of my brothers') who is dumb enough to walk around my parents house in my presence "hoping" outloud that she will get certain things when my parents die. Touching our family heirlooms telling my brother that she "wants dibs" on this or that. She jokes that she needs to "get to the house first" when my parents die.
Ummmmm. My parents are young and in perfect health. What the heck? Should I tell my brother this is really creepy and bothering me?
I'm direct, so I would confront the girlfriend. That's just weird behavior. Talking about death is very taboo, nevermind in such a disturbing manner. Even joking about that is weird.
Should I tell my brother this is really creepy and bothering me?
::neck crawlies:: What does your brother say when his .. whatever she is ... makes those remarks?
I'm not suggesting you do this, but if I was in that scenario, I would be perverse enough to look out on the internet for a will template. I'd then fill it out in a manner that indicates my parents drew it up with text that indicates all possessions go to myself. In bold would be an indication that the reason is a fear of future in-laws predatory nature. Leave it out where the woman would be sure to find it.
As a matter of common sense advice, this woman sounds like the kind who would escalate the behavior if she knew she was getting attention for it. I'd advise detachment. If your parents know of her behavior (do they?) it's for them to decide how this influences the inheritance left to your brother.
::neck crawlies:: What does your brother say when his .. whatever she is ... makes those remarks?
I'm not suggesting you do this, but if I was in that scenario, I would be perverse enough to look out on the internet for a will template. I'd then fill it out in a manner that indicates my parents drew it up with text that indicates all possessions go to myself. In bold would be an indication that the reason is a fear of future in-laws predatory nature. Leave it out where the woman would be sure to find it.
As a matter of common sense advice, this woman sounds like the kind who would escalate the behavior if she knew she was getting attention for it. I'd advise detachment. If your parents know of her behavior (do they?) it's for them to decide how this influences the inheritance left to your brother.
Haven't talked to my parents yet as I hate talking about death. Probably should just double check they have everything ready.
It's just this terrible feeling of loathing watching an unrelated person manhandle the great grandparents candy dish claiming "dibs".
It's just this terrible feeling of loathing watching an unrelated person manhandle the great grandparents candy dish claiming "dibs".
Yeah, it would be tempting to snatch it back, telling the woman to keep her slimy paws off, but again, these are your parents things. If that woman is expected to become an in-law then they are the ones who need to establish boundaries and expectations of behavior in their house.
I would discuss it with your parents, letting them know how she behaves if they aren't aware of it and how uncomfortable you are. You can go to your brother, but don't count on it being a constructive conversation. He might well say "oh, she's just joking, pay no mind." You could also confront the girlfriend, but given her absolute insensitivity to anyone else' feelings and general ghoulishness what kind of answer would you expect in return? Again, I would advise going to your parents about this.
That is just creepy and wrong on so many levels. I would sit them both down and explain that it is not proper for her to be calling "dibs" on anything.
My husbands Mom and Grandmother have asked me to specify what I want after they pass and I told them, "whatever you want to leave to "us" is your decision". His Grandmother actually asked me to put those little colored dot stickers on the things I wanted. I told her that I did not feel comfortable doing that.
Your brothers girlfriend has no right to ask for anything. Even when they are married I don't think she has the right unless specifically asked by your parents if there is anything in particular the BOTH of them would like.
Good luck
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