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And there are men that state time and time again that "CHIVALRY" isn't dead...they obviously have not read your thread nor spoke to you in the real world..
These acts are not done out of being "Equal" they are done out "respect" , "Being raised right" and cordial...
These 2 simple "free" acts/behaviors are appreciated by women at least they are by me..
I have a great career but a gentleman who asks me out and pays for dinner shows me that he was raised correctly and has his morals and values straight..
I am not wanting a man to pay for things like my nails, my hair to be done, or my bills I do that just fine..but buy me a small gift of flowers, take me to dinner or drinks shows me alot about a man and the last thing that comes to mind is "sucker"
I will pull the chair for you and hold the door for you as long you do the same for me.
Seriously, those acts should have died when women became equal.
You guys want your cake, icing, icecream and then some.
Those traditions are dead. They died along side when women refused to be the stay at home mom and house nanny imo.
And I know the mindset of most women. Pulling the chair for you guys, holding the door, buying you gifts have absolutely nothing to do with if a guy is going to get some.
I have seen that game many times, where a girl will milk as much as possible from a guy and then throw him away when she's done.
I also have many stories where the guy was still the provider even though his female partner was making just as much if not close to what he was making. She still put a knife in his back and over the most trivial thing and left him for another guy.
As a man you either put your foot down against women who want modern day and traditional privaleges or they will walk all over you.
Wish more people thought like the op. But working women are still doing most of the housework and child-rearing. Maybe this will change more and more.
I'm one of those old farts, I guess. Chivalry is NOT dead. The ex never worked outside the home but we eventually had five children to raise. She took care of the home and I took care of maintenance, yard work, etc. as well as worked to support the family. I also was very much involved with the children from infancy on up and both enjoyed and did a fair amount of cooking. I won't say I enjoyed laundry but I did my part and ironed my own clothes. I also opened doors, held chairs, etc.
My wife suffered an accident some years ago which has robbed her of the use of her left arm. Consequently, in retirement, I do most of the laundry, cooking and house cleaning as well as all the "guy" things. I don 't believe all us men can be painted with the same brush, nor the women either.
I'm one of those old farts, I guess. Chivalry is NOT dead. The ex never worked outside the home but we eventually had five children to raise. She took care of the home and I took care of maintenance, yard work, etc. as well as worked to support the family. I also was very much involved with the children from infancy on up and both enjoyed and did a fair amount of cooking. I won't say I enjoyed laundry but I did my part and ironed my own clothes. I also opened doors, held chairs, etc.
My wife suffered an accident some years ago which has robbed her of the use of her left arm. Consequently, in retirement, I do most of the laundry, cooking and house cleaning as well as all the "guy" things. I don 't believe all us men can be painted with the same brush, nor the women either.
While I do believe women should be respected, I'm not willing to put them on a pedestal either, which I believe chivalry essentially does. I rather she be an independent thinker, contributor, and partner to a relationship instead of there just for the ride. So with me, girls could reasonably expect me not to pay for a meal all the time, or choose places to go, but they will be well respected and treated well for they are. They just can't expect me to be the stereotypical guy.
Thankyou.
It's the biggest misconception that women don't judge on looks just as much as men, just like for a while guys where spoon fed the false truth that nice guys finish first when in actuality they finish last. Remember that guys? Women where saying for the longest time that all they wanted was a nice guy. Yeah a nice guy to spend the money and be their emotional girlfriend while the assertive, near - ***hole type got all the action.
Women are even more superficial then men. If your not attractive forget about it. There's a few exceptions but if your teeth aren't good, body isn't somewhat in shape and your face ain't clear/clean you pretty much have 0 chance.
It's all about physical attraction to them. If you look good and can hold a conversation they will treat you and pursue you. I have seen plenty of broke attractive (no homo) men get women to fill up their gas tanks, pay for the meals, fix them a snack and then on top of that get some play. (I'm not encouraging it I was providing a real life extreme example.)
That happened all in one night.
I would focus all my energy in to how to make myself more physically attractive.
If you have to treat a women out in the first place, chances are she's not genuinely attracted to you in the first place. Women will make time for you and won't play any games when they think you "got it."
I would take a trip to the local dentist, get some facial spa treatments and hit the gym up before I waste my money on them.
Women think like us when it comes to attraction. TRUST ME.
I'm also not saying take advantage. It's just a misconception that will get you further with women doing nice things like that. Its actually harder, and more sophisticated then just being a "nice guy," that will get you ahead with women.
Thank you, Carol. I don't think it's anything special. I simply believe that spouses should be real partners. Ultimately I don't think the ex and I ever truly were, thus the end of the marriage after 25 years.
Thank you, Carol. I don't think it's anything special. I simply believe that spouses should be real partners. Ultimately I don't think the ex and I ever truly were, thus the end of the marriage after 25 years.
Men like you make excellent fathers, which I believe is the most important role in society.
There's one significant element being overlooked here and that is men who don't want a woman to make more money than they do or pay for a night out. It's a bigger issue than you realize. Personally, I'd always earned more money than the men I've dated and bought my own house and car and had a good job - without even so much as someone living with me. I would pay my fair share of nights out - it was the right thing to do in my eyes. But a vast majority of men DON'T want it that way and it's out of a woman's hands.
One of them, she said, finally just came out and said it. “Look,” Ms. Hess recalled him saying, “it makes me really uncomfortable that you make more money than me. I’m going to put that out on the table and try to get over it.”
But he never got over it, she said.
“The sad thing is that I really liked the guy,” she said. “If that hadn’t been an issue with him, we’d probably still be dating
These men need to be pushed over a bridge j/k
I'm also against men who critisize hard working, independent women.
It makes them look insecure and weak.
I know women who can fix cars better then most guys can, and I know women who are extremely athletic/intelligent and guys are intimidated by that.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulysses61
I'm female and agree with much of what the OP says. I don't see anything wrong with holding a door open for a woman, that is merely being polite and a gentleman. Everything else is pretty much spot on.
I must be out of the loop, because I thought that men being the breadwinner was over decades ago, unless you're living in the deep South in a Christian fundamentalist enclave or something.
I don't believe men should pay for meals or dates either. Everything should be split 50/50 or they should rotate who pays. It's who I conducted myself when I was dating. I would never allow a man to pay for everything while dating, it would make me feel funny. I have no idea why most women feel differently.
I notice these days if someone opens the door for somebody else the gender doesn't matter, moreso the age/condition of the person.
I think the real reason is that these women WANT TO FEEL SPECIAL, and want to feel like the guy is somehow putting in work to get her, that he's good enough to deserve her. I've heard women time and time again put on a superior attitude and say, 'If he wants ME HE's gonna have to work his butt off to get me', I'm not going to appear desperate.
I am really getting sick and tired of guys complaining about there more succesful counterparts are getting more women. Every time I sip beer at a bar that topic comes up. Every Time I enter a male enviroment that topic comes up.
Why do guys even care about a selfish women who is only with you based off what you can potentially do for her.
My thing is. Women make just as much money as we do. I don't care if I get kicked off the forums for saying this but no I don't hold the door for my women, I don't pull the chair for her, no I don't give her money to get her nails done, buy her car. etc. etc.
At the same time I don't order her around, I don't expect her to cook or wash my dirty underwear, and I don't expect her to be silent when I speak.
She pays. I pay.
I was the dishes she washes the dishes.
They want to be equal. Well we are equal and thats how I treat them.
=, =, =,
So stop complaining and get a women on your level and put down your foot.
Women do as much as we do. The financial gap is pretty much closed and women even have an employment advantage prior secondary education.
So kill this concept of man being the bread winner and stop perpetuating the vicious cycle and put the narcissistic (not all) women in their place and live happy.
Simple.
Had to vent.
And all the guys who do tolerate a selfish, lazy, manipulative women only because of their good looks you get exactly what you deserve.
Is it me or did the OP start complaining about men complaining and then change directions to blame the behavior on women (not all, of course) wanting men to be bread winners?
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