Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have serious question for women who are 35 or older...
Is it easier or harder for you to fall in love? I ask because I'm about to start college (4 years) and then med school (4 years), and then a residency as a neurosurgeon (5 years). It seems like women who are at least 35 are more mature when it comes to relationships, but it also seems like they are also more jaded based on past bad relationships, so they really wouldn't fall in love and if they did... it would be more cold or matter-a-fact, than happy ever after love, you know like a robot. She will have already giving someone else her best...
When I fall in love, I admit that I do only focus on her and put everything else on the back burner, but it's not like I chase every woman I see I'm very picky... Anyway because of my priorities when it comes to love, my father thinks I should go to a predominantly all male college, but I know that the best chance of me meeting a great girl will be in college because of the diversity and large numbers of single females. But I also know that without the distractions of a relationship I will do great in school (this is based off of past experience).
My father says that I'll have plenty of time for love after I'm a doctor, but I'll be so old... like 30! ... NO I'm not calling people who are over 30 old... But to go 13 years being single seems so hard! YES! I know I could just have female friends, but lets be real here! I'm talking about women that I'm attracted to. I'm gonna try and ask her out before someone else gets her! If I'm not attracted to her of coarse I can just be friends... Plus my dad says all that but he and my mom meet freshman year in college...
So again my question is for women who are 35 or older: ''Is it harder or easier for you to fall in love and what kind of love is it? I mean do you feel like you've met your prince or is it more matter-of-fact, you know <there is no such thing as my prince or happy ever after> type of love?'' Also besides a career, home, car, and looks what else do older women look for in a possible husband?
I have serious question for women who are 35 or older...
Is it easier or harder for you to fall in love? I ask because I'm about to start college (4 years) and then med school (4 years), and then a residency as a neurosurgeon (5 years). It seems like women who are at least 35 are more mature when it comes to relationships, but it also seems like they are also more jaded based on past bad relationships, so they really wouldn't fall in love and if they did... it would be more cold or matter-a-fact, than happy ever after love, you know like a robot. She will have already giving someone else her best...
When I fall in love, I admit that I do only focus on her and put everything else on the back burner, but it's not like I chase every woman I see I'm very picky... Anyway because of my priorities when it comes to love, my father thinks I should go to a predominantly all male college, but I know that the best chance of me meeting a great girl will be in college because of the diversity and large numbers of single females. But I also know that without the distractions of a relationship I will do great in school (this is based off of past experience).
My father says that I'll have plenty of time for love after I'm a doctor, but I'll be so old... like 30! ... NO I'm not calling people who are over 30 old... But to go 13 years being single seems so hard! YES! I know I could just have female friends, but lets be real here! I'm talking about women that I'm attracted to. I'm gonna try and ask her out before someone else gets her! If I'm not attracted to her of coarse I can just be friends... Plus my dad says all that but he and my mom meet freshman year in college...
So again my question is for women who are 35 or older: ''Is it harder or easier for you to fall in love and what kind of love is it? I mean do you feel like you've met your prince or is it more matter-of-fact, you know <there is no such thing as my prince or happy ever after> type of love?'' Also besides a career, home, car, and looks what else do older women look for in a possible husband?
By the time you get to be 30 your definition of LOVE will change about forty gazillion times. Life changes us, and changes what we want and look for in our life-mates.
The wise person sits back and waits and watches and learns and listens. The hard part (no pun intended) is keeping your hormones under control and not jumping into relationships that *seem* for all the world like love at the time, but later, in retrospect, were something else indeed. You cannot blame young people for being young. Making some mistakes is what it is all about.
The only advice I can give you is to go out and enjoy your life and learn what kind of woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. But PLEASE use some kind of manly birth control because your life and your future will come to a very abrupt and unpleasant halt if some girlie turns up preggers at your expense. You will regret it for the rest of your life.
So have fun and work hard and somewhere along the way bells will ring and you will just *know*.
Well, I think you're right in that the older people get - not just women but men and women both - the more their definition of what love is changes. That does not equate to being jaded about love, but rather is a recognition of the importance of a common value system in a marriage in addition to physical attraction.
When you are twenty you don't know what you like and dislike in a mate as well as you do when you are - gasp! 40.
It's understandable that your father doesn't want you distracted before you've completed your studies and parents offer wisdoms usually learned the hard way. The point is, that we all learn from our own mistakes and not usually from the mistakes of others.
I know the amount of work involved must make it seem as though you will have no free time to meet anyone, but people meet people all the time, even when they are busy with school. It isn't the end of the world if you stay single until you've done your schooling, or if you don't.
Don't become so jaded that you assume all women are jaded about love as you grow older.
What I would look for in a husband would be physical attraction, an ability to laugh at himself, humility, someone who's heart goes out to people who are less fortunate than himself, someone who loves dogs and children, not materialistic, but who is able to earn a living (it shows responsibility).
And well-read. Just a personal thing. Couldn't abide living with someone who didn't read.
Arrogant people who talk about money or their social status would not need to apply.
I am still able to love all mushy-like, but I am more practical about a lot of my decisions, including my love-life.
Bad relationships aren't the only reason a middle aged woman won't fall head over heels like a 16 year old. Maturity brings more life experiences and lessons to process all the way around. There is more thinking with the head. That doesn't mean you can't feel with the heart at the same time.
I don't think it's harder to fall in love when you're over 30. I was 30 and my DH was 35 when we met and began to date. I'd say people are more cautious because they've been hurt before and perhaps a bit more discriminating because they know what's truly important and what they want in a spouse. I'd say continue your education, date for the fun and companionship, be discriminating, don't settle for less than you want, don't confuse sex with love, and if the right person falls into your life embrace her. You've got a lot of time to find someone to share your life with, so don't rush the process - enjoy the journey.
I have serious question for women who are 35 or older...
Is it easier or harder for you to fall in love? I ask because I'm about to start college (4 years) and then med school (4 years), and then a residency as a neurosurgeon (5 years). It seems like women who are at least 35 are more mature when it comes to relationships, but it also seems like they are also more jaded based on past bad relationships, so they really wouldn't fall in love and if they did... it would be more cold or matter-a-fact, than happy ever after love, you know like a robot. She will have already giving someone else her best...
When I fall in love, I admit that I do only focus on her and put everything else on the back burner, but it's not like I chase every woman I see I'm very picky... Anyway because of my priorities when it comes to love, my father thinks I should go to a predominantly all male college, but I know that the best chance of me meeting a great girl will be in college because of the diversity and large numbers of single females. But I also know that without the distractions of a relationship I will do great in school (this is based off of past experience).
My father says that I'll have plenty of time for love after I'm a doctor, but I'll be so old... like 30! ... NO I'm not calling people who are over 30 old... But to go 13 years being single seems so hard! YES! I know I could just have female friends, but lets be real here! I'm talking about women that I'm attracted to. I'm gonna try and ask her out before someone else gets her! If I'm not attracted to her of coarse I can just be friends... Plus my dad says all that but he and my mom meet freshman year in college...
So again my question is for women who are 35 or older: ''Is it harder or easier for you to fall in love and what kind of love is it? I mean do you feel like you've met your prince or is it more matter-of-fact, you know <there is no such thing as my prince or happy ever after> type of love?'' Also besides a career, home, car, and looks what else do older women look for in a possible husband?
While you are looking hard for it....it may not appear. It's always been in my book that when you aren't looking, when you least expect it...well Hell, there it is.
You may have everything figured out alright and rearing to go, then love will knock you on your ass. Just read some of these threads right here in relationships....it should tell you how interesting the love road can be.
follow your paths that feel good for you. Ride with life. Let it flow...and you'll know when you meet the right person, and the wrong one. Just don't settle for anything less than wonderful. Life is too short.
I think you should work on school and put "love" on the back burner. When you are 30 you will be a young DR - you will have no trouble attracting women! Women will be women - not "girls". I truly don't think women grow up until they are in their very late 20s if not 30s. The best time of my life was in my early to mid 30s.
Just like a man, a woman's outlook on love in her 30s will depend on her life experiance to that point. As has been mentioned, it will be very different than a 19 years old girl's.
Work on school. Get good grades and learn everything you can!! Time is on your side. Use your time to make your life wonderful ... love will be there for you.
Best wishes.
Women flock to doctors and at 30 you will not be old.
However, you may be at college or grad school or medical school and meet the woman you will marry, so don't shut yourself off to love. She may be a friend of a guy at college or someone's sister at your 'mostly male university.'
The only thing I see is people over 35 are sometimes settled in their ways and less willing to compromise. Whether this is a good thing or bad depends on the person.
Why would you remain single until you are a Dr.?
You don't have to get married, you can still date.
You can always marry younger, if you want a family.
A woman over 35 has less of a chance of having kids.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
