Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My girlfriend and I have been together for over 5 months. She has a lot of guy friends which typically is a non issue for me. Until this point there was only one issue with a guy who was totally disrespectful to our relationship... she saw the same and has reduced contact.
In late March she tells me about a guy friend of hers who she knew from way back when. He was a really close friend. He moved away years ago and they've remained in contact. He is planning on coming out to visit for a week in July and she offered up her place for him to stay. She's had people stay over for a night in the past (before me) for various reasons without incident or issue. She offered to take the week off of work and hang out and do stuff with him while he was in town. The length of this stay bothered me. The fact that she was going to so easily take that much time off of work also bothered me. I haven't been able to get her to take more then a day off when it comes to doing stuff over an extended weekend. Right or wrong I expressed my concerns and it blew up in my face. She felt like I didn't trust her. I felt like a real jerk... and the next day I apologized and said it wouldn't be a problem.
Fast forward 6.5 weeks
During the course of drinking and listening to some vinyl a couple of nights ago this guy sent her a picture of some guitar. She showed me the picture and started telling me a bit more about him. Come to find out (and to make a long story short)... her and this guy have NEVER met in person. He has NEVER lived in the area. They met a few years ago in a chat room on a website showing a hockey game (her and I... and apparently this guy are major hockey fans). I waited until the next morning once the liquor wore off to question her about it. She first tried to tell me they were different guys. I kept pointing out the great number of similarities between the "two guys"... she eventually admitted that it was the same guy.
I found her reason for lying to be funny. She didn't think I would trust her with this guy staying over if I knew the truth. Also turns out that when telling him (through text) that I had an issue with him staying over... she referred to me as her "boyfriend situation" a "f***face" and an "idiotface" (she says stuff like this when she gets mad).
I'm hurt because she lied to me about him. She also doesn't see any problems with continuing to talk to this guy. I expressed my issues with this and my desire for communication to end. I even asked her how she would feel if the roles were reversed... she said it would bother her too but she wouldn't tell me not to talk to this person.
I can't help but feel like she is putting more importance on him. It seems like all I get as a response is admitting she was wrong... but justification for keeping him around. I also can't help but wonder if I'm blowing this out of proportion? Am I wrong for feeling how I do? I absolutely adore this girl... I'm hurt and at a loss.
I found her reason for lying to be funny. She didn't think I would trust her with this guy staying over if I knew the truth. Also turns out that when telling him (through text) that I had an issue with him staying over... she referred to me as her "boyfriend situation" a "f***face" and an "idiotface" (she says stuff like this when she gets mad).
No, you're not blowing it out of proportion. Take it as a HUGE red flag. I don't have any advice about how to proceed but if it were me, I would think about leaving over this. She's lying to you! Also taking a week off of work for a guy she's had some sort of online connection with and finally gets to meet while she won't even take one day off for you? Wow.
Forget the name calling, she is cruising the internet and has a guy coming to stay with her that she met there?? She is dating someone while she is dating you.
She's just not that into you. Don't waste your time.
I'm hurt because she lied to me about him. She also doesn't see any problems with continuing to talk to this guy. I expressed my issues with this and my desire for communication to end. I even asked her how she would feel if the roles were reversed... she said it would bother her too but she wouldn't tell me not to talk to this person.
I can't help but feel like she is putting more importance on him. It seems like all I get as a response is admitting she was wrong... but justification for keeping him around. I also can't help but wonder if I'm blowing this out of proportion? Am I wrong for feeling how I do? I absolutely adore this girl... I'm hurt and at a loss.
Sadly, it looks like it's time for her to become an "ex-girlfriend."
She offered to take the week off of work and hang out and do stuff with him while he was in town. The length of this stay bothered me. The fact that she was going to so easily take that much time off of work also bothered me. I haven't been able to get her to take more then a day off when it comes to doing stuff over an extended weekend.
The fact that she wants to take a week off of work for some random guy after resisting taking any for you is a red flag big enough to cover the Eiffel tower. In general, how someone wants to spend or not spend their off days is very indicative of their priorities, and they ain't you (but are quality time with a guy from the internet!)
you're hurt and at loss because as you said you absolutely adore this girl....I think she must know this and is totally taking advantage of that adoration...I feel she is being very disrespectful of you and your relationship....I would be seriously considering whether she's really worth your trust.
Wow, I would not put up with that level of disrespect from ANYONE. Is she really hot?
Have some pride and kick her to the curb. Do not let her blame you for how you feel about it, you are completely justified.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
