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I feel like with 90% of the people I become acquainted with, I always have to initiate conversation (primarily when the communication is not in person). There was a brief period in high school where that wasn't the case, and when I had a girlfriend it also wasn't the case, but otherwise it has always been the case.
What gives? These aren't strangers, they're people I've hung out with and talked with and laughed with. I like to think that I'm socially acclimated enough to know if someone actually enjoys being around me, and I'd say these people do. Yet it seems that if I don't send texts and messages, they rarely contact me.
Anyone else feel the same way? I wish that for once I'd have a couple people text me or chat me or call me just to ask how I'm doing.
Communication in general seems to have reached, for many, an all time low. FB, texting, etc. seem to be the norm where so many are concerned. It's apparent even on forums that many don't read anything which extends beyond a couple of sentences and, God Forbid that one even dares to criticize someone who responds to a thread which died years ago and was revived by some twit brain who couldn't read dates.
I don't do FB, I don't text and I don't twitter or tweet or whatever. I thoroughly enjoy my family and friends who email me with all their news and I reciprocate accordingly. The exchanges are such which could never be achieved via texting and they're also not exchanges which can be translated properly on the telephone. I enjoy being a technological dinosaur.
I wouldn't worry too much about it. As time goes by you'll know who your real friends are and if at any time you can count them all on just one hand you'll be a most fortunate person!!!
thing is I'm pretty sure these people do contact others
just not me
:|
It is probably best not to think about this. This is how you create drama in your mind.
If you are always initiating contact, then this is what people can expect from you. You are predictable, a person who will always be there. These are good things but you have to use them to your advantage, not your friend's advantage.
1: OP initiates contact but friends don't. There is no problem because OP made the choice to do so.
2. OP notices that friends initiate contact with others, but not him. There still is no problem since the OP's friends have a right to initiate contact with who they want.
3. OP feels like he has to initiate contact first. Now we are getting somewhere but still no problem defined.
Maybe you have a reputation for being a conversation starter, ice-breaker, a leader, or a bold person? Maybe your friends are a bit on the quiet side. Can't really say since I do not know you or your friends.
Maybe you have a reputation for being a conversation starter, ice-breaker, a leader, or a bold person? Maybe your friends are a bit on the quiet side. Can't really say since I do not know you or your friends.
That almost feels like a catch-22. If I don't want to be the one constantly starting conversation, I should just not do so. But if I don't do that, then I probably won't make many friends (almost all the people I'm acquainted with I know because I've approached them, not the other way around).
A few months ago I went on a service-oriented spring break trip and I thought I had made some friendships. But then almost nobody maintained contact with me afterward, as if I didn't even exist. I'm lucky that a few even have done so.
Or for example, there was a guy in my criminology class last semester who I chilled with before class practically every day we had class, we hung out a few times, but he hasn't talked to me at all since summer started. Same with a girl in my accounting class (well we talked once since; I started the conversation, and she didn't seem too interested in maintaining it).
These aren't strangers, some of 'em have kinda opened up to me (that girl has told me plenty of her personal problems -- total friend zonage, yes, but apparently it's not even the friend zone. just the 'ear to talk in to zone.').
I'm not a flawless human being but I simply cannot fathom what the hell it could be about me that almost every single person I try to make a connection with ends up not wanting to have anything to do with me.
I feel like with 90% of the people I become acquainted with, I always have to initiate conversation (primarily when the communication is not in person). There was a brief period in high school where that wasn't the case, and when I had a girlfriend it also wasn't the case, but otherwise it has always been the case.
What gives? These aren't strangers, they're people I've hung out with and talked with and laughed with. I like to think that I'm socially acclimated enough to know if someone actually enjoys being around me, and I'd say these people do. Yet it seems that if I don't send texts and messages, they rarely contact me.
Anyone else feel the same way? I wish that for once I'd have a couple people text me or chat me or call me just to ask how I'm doing.
I know what you mean... Being the one to have to always initiate conversation, even among so-called friends, is never fun...
Sigh, I decide to chat with a friend today and she barely reciprocates the conversation then just signs off on me without so much as a goodbye.
People really really confuse me sometimes.
You know, you don't have any trouble on here talking to people. Could it be people your own age? Maybe you're way more mature then they are. Any way you could hang out with people a couple of years older then you?
Believe it or not, yes. I'm pretty active on a website that's centered around reviewing businesses (largely restaurants) and I've met a few people on there. I get lunch with one person pretty regularly, she's like 29 and I don't have much of a problem talking to her.
People have always said I seem really mature for my age, like to the point where last semester a few people thought I was a Junior and not a Freshman haha. I also find it surprisingly easy to talk to people in their late 20s. There were two people in two different classes in the fall semester who were like 28, one had been in the Army and the other simply put off college for a while, and we talked a fair amount. Can't say we still talk much but I didn't really feel like I was talking to someone so much older and more mature than me, y'know?
e: I can't say I really like that trait though. Yeah it might be of use when trying to get a job or something but most of the people I'm surrounded by and interact with are my age :|
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Being the one to have to always initiate conversation, even among so-called friends, is never fun...
but most of the people I'm surrounded by and interact with are my age :|
