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Since it's frowned upon in Puritanical America for males to have fluid sexuality, is the fact that I find other males attractive something that I "have" to reveal as a part of who I am to a girl? I've never dated a guy, never had sex with a guy, never fallen in love with a guy, but know when other dudes are hot. I feel really guilty about it because I'm told, as a male, I'm either 100% straight, or gay, there is no in between so I feel guilty dating women because I feel like I'm hiding something from them.
I've started hanging out with a girl who's really into me and I really like her, but I'm programmed to feel like I'm leading a double life just because I think a ripped, shirtless dude looks good.
If you want a happy relationship, you need to stay true to yourself.
I'm not sure how far your attraction is towards men. Do you just admire their physical attributes or do you secretly wish for sexual relationship with them? Many people find others of the same sex attractive, it's not an indication of anything. What matters is whether you are sexually driven towards them.
I think that it's important to be honest with yourself first. Do you or do you not want to be with men? If you do, then this makes you bisexual. What you are "told" about being 100% straight or 100% gay is not true. I know bisexuals and they want and love both men and women.
If you are in fact bisexual, then you should explore this part of yourself and not suppress it and definitely not hide it from your potential significant other.
Last edited by max's mama; 05-26-2011 at 10:38 PM..
If you're starting a relationship with someone, it's only fair to tell them you're bi-sexual. Right now, you're "bi-curious" but eventually, you're going to act on your curiousity. Whoever you are with deserves to know and decide if he or she wants to "share" you with someone else.
I am going to say NO. You do not owe anyone the contents of your private fantasies, The only reason to mention it would be if you are not planning to be monogamous.
If you are in a committed relationship and not planning to cheat, it is no one's business what you think about.
If you want a happy relationship, you need to stay true to yourself.
I'm not sure how far your attraction is towards men. Do you just admire their physical attributes or do you secretly wish for sexual relationship with them? Many people find others of the same sex attractive, it's not an indication of anything. What matters is whether you are sexually driven towards them.
I think that it's important to be honest with yourself first. Do you or do you not want to be with men? If you do, then this makes you bisexual. What you are "told" about being 100% straight or 100% gay is not true. I know bisexuals and they want and love both men and women.
If you are in fact bisexual, then you should explore this part of yourself and not suppress it and definitely not hide it from your potential significant other.
If you're starting a relationship with someone, it's only fair to tell them you're bi-sexual. Right now, you're "bi-curious" but eventually, you're going to act on your curiousity. Whoever you are with deserves to know and decide if he or she wants to "share" you with someone else.
Haha how do you know what I'm going to act out on or not? Like I said, I've never been with a dude before.
Since it's frowned upon in Puritanical America for males to have fluid sexuality, is the fact that I find other males attractive something that I "have" to reveal as a part of who I am to a girl? I've never dated a guy, never had sex with a guy, never fallen in love with a guy, but know when other dudes are hot. I feel really guilty about it because I'm told, as a male, I'm either 100% straight, or gay, there is no in between so I feel guilty dating women because I feel like I'm hiding something from them.
I've started hanging out with a girl who's really into me and I really like her, but I'm programmed to feel like I'm leading a double life just because I think a ripped, shirtless dude looks good.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTHokieFan
Haha how do you know what I'm going to act out on or not? Like I said, I've never been with a dude before.
OK, I'm trying to figure out from your posts whether you're actually bi or just think you are b/c you sometimes think a dude is hot. If it's the second choice then I think you have lots of straight company and most men won't admit to it easily. I mean, all straight women can tell if a woman is hot or not.
However, if your feelings run any deeper than that, and you've had fantasies about doing things with men and about kissing them and all, then yes, you're probably bi, whether you've acted out on it or not, and esp if you've had these fantasies from a young age or have been very much attracted to certain men. (I'm not sure that bi fantasies with faceless men that you never kiss really count.)
When my ex came out gay a couple of years ago, he had never acted out on his fantasies or had any intention of doing so. He considered himself straight for most of his adult life and had filed his fantasies away as something shameful and never to be examined but things have a way of coming out later. Just imagine the fallout that occurs when you've been married to someone for a number of years, have children, and then you have to come out to your family and her family, and as bad as I felt for myself, I wouldn't have traded shoes with him for the world--he lost the respect of many people when he did this and most people were angry that he had misled us for so many years.
Nope, I think that if you think there's a chance that you might want to do these things, you should explore your full sexuality before you commit to someone and then be honest about what you are--some women will be willing to take the chance and then it will be with full knowledge of what they're getting into.
Him-Honey, I think dudes are hot too.
Her-So you're half a homo?
Him-No. I've never actually did the McNasty with another dude.
Her-So what are you trying to tell me?
Him-I'm saying that when I see a ripped dude with 6 pack abs Mr. Johnson turns into Mr. Happy.
Her-Do you like having sex with me?
Him-Yes. But I close my eyes and think about Greg Louganis.
Her-Pack your sh*t and get the hell out!
Him-Damn! I knew I should have kept this sh*t to myself! That will teach me to listen to those a**holes on CityData!!
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