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I think I wasted $80. I've sent out 27 emails and 130 winks with only 1 response that was "hi" and haven't heard anything since. I try to write something geared towards each person. My marriage ended by being cheated on(with at least the 4th person) which was enough of a blow to the self esteem. My ex is a very selfish, self centered person who doesn't care who she hurts and what damage she causes. But now this is kicking me while I'm down. I knew not to do it, but stupidly I did. I am always received better in person. I am not even sure why I am posting this. I guess out of frustration. I need to vent or something. Maybe I need to adjust my standards, I haven't dated since I was 19. I am 34 now and I have wasted my life away with that woman. I am loyal to fault. She has MS and I have taken care of her on her bad days and stood by her through her drug addictions. She is very, very attractive but she is ugly on the inside. From seeing us together you would say she was out of my league. But if you knew what I had to deal with you would say I was too good for her. LOL, this post took a turn. Anyway, I don't even know.
I`m glad to hear that you are away from her now. You can start working on your confidence and self respect, and take your life back!
Don`t give up! I wish you luck!
As bizarre as it might sound, the church is the best place to pick women up. If you are religious, consider going to some organized events with a fishing device
I think I wasted $80. I've sent out 27 emails and 130 winks with only 1 response that was "hi" and haven't heard anything since. I try to write something geared towards each person. My marriage ended by being cheated on(with at least the 4th person) which was enough of a blow to the self esteem. My ex is a very selfish, self centered person who doesn't care who she hurts and what damage she causes. But now this is kicking me while I'm down. I knew not to do it, but stupidly I did. I am always received better in person. I am not even sure why I am posting this. I guess out of frustration. I need to vent or something. Maybe I need to adjust my standards, I haven't dated since I was 19. I am 34 now and I have wasted my life away with that woman. I am loyal to fault. She has MS and I have taken care of her on her bad days and stood by her through her drug addictions. She is very, very attractive but she is ugly on the inside. From seeing us together you would say she was out of my league. But if you knew what I had to deal with you would say I was too good for her. LOL, this post took a turn. Anyway, I don't even know.
I understand your frustration my friend. I'll say no more about that cause it hurts. I'll just say I want to take it as a lesson not to help others ever again but I hope I'm better then that.
As for the dating sites, Match is one of the more legit ones but still a scam. POF seems to be the best. All the dating sites have paid people on staff to write fake junk to men making them think a pretty girl who wants sex is after them. Well of course the man has to upgrade his free membership to a pay member just to get the phone number and email of this wonderful lady who wants sex. Then after another email or 2 the poor man finds whatever he says is answered with useless words obviously sent to everyone. Accept that women get 100 replies each day and men get 1 per month. That's just the way it is.
All I can say is don't give up nor judge a whole species on one bad apple. Sit back a bit, take a breath and start over. Just whatever you do, DO NOT get married again or you will be posting more horror for us here later.
Your response rate is abysmal because you are most likely shooting for women who are outside of your league. I think this happens all the time to divorced people who are just getting back into dating - you have no idea who your target audience should be. You don't know which women will find you to be a catch. For instance, you say your ex was very attractive. If you are approaching women who are as attractive as she was, perhaps you simply can't pull that type of woman anymore. Maybe you have men who are taller/better looking/richer etc competing with you for those gals, and you keep losing out. Frankly, the worm will turn for you within the next couple of years and you will start having better luck with with women provided you do two things: aim for women within your league, and get over the ex-wife. Your bitterness shines through. It is understandable, but very unattractive.
As for match, they don't just send phone emails to men. When I canceled my membership, my email suddenly became bombarded with messages from Mr Tall Dark Rich and Handsome... if only I'd pay up again I'd surely start dating these guys.
For free sites, I prefer Okcupid to POF. I like how I can read how people have answered all of the different questions, which at least gives you an insight to their personality. POF, I seem to get a lot of weirdos writing to me there.
I suspect that your profile on match needs a major overhaul. It may be sending a negative "vibe" that you don't perceive, or lack information that highlights your desirable qualities. Perhaps your photos are ambiguous or lack smiles. With a good profile, women will contact YOU - you just need to respond in a sincere and classy manner if you're interested. There are plenty of resources about writing a good profile - check the site, check competitor's profiles, and google it.
In all honesty, I think Match.com is a scam too. They advertise how many relationships have been made as a result of match.com, but do not discuss the number of divorces that occur among their customers. Just a thought.
In all honesty, I think Match.com is a scam too. They advertise how many relationships have been made as a result of match.com, but do not discuss the number of divorces that occur among their customers. Just a thought.
Why should they discuss divorce? People who marry after meeting on the site don't usually stay on the site, so how would the site know what they do subsequently? Everyone KNOWS that about half of all marriages fail, anyway. I doubt those stats vary much for people who've met online. Your argument does not hold water.
Of course, most of the sites exist to make money by providing a service. Some sites provide a better service than others, of course. The bigger you are, the more likely you'll have unhappy customers - but that may be the fault of the customer, not the site, in some cases.
I used a variety of dating sites when I was dating, and match provided the best overall success by far. I was very pleased with the site.
All the dating sites have paid people on staff to write fake junk to men making them think a pretty girl who wants sex is after them.
I KNEW IT!!!!!!
To the OP - If you think about it, online dating is short for "business casual", where every woman (and guys) get to put on their HR hats for the day.
We the "applicants" have to put forth a personal resume - age, height, likes, dislikes, skin color, hair color, pictures, "what we would do on a first date", what we do for fun, business, vacations, where we live, color of our eyes, religion, damn even whether we want kids!!!, etc... All in black and white - no touch, feel, hear, (smell ), even the sixth sense of intuition are lacking.
Many will argue that this is how it is done because everyone wants to be sure who they are contacting and a good 'feel' whether that person will possibly be the one, but just like their business counterparts, the "HR applicant seekers" have to weed the thousands of profiles out each time they log on.
My point is, forget online sites for meeting people, just use it for fodder when you're out and about. We can all commiserate together for a laugh or two (except maybe the 'players', but they are pros at it )
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), even the sixth sense of intuition are lacking.