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I have been going to therapy for about three weeks now and we discuss my semi-satisfactory relationship. My fiance refuses to attend; heck one Tuesday i had an appointment and he had the day off from work so why didn't he attend? He's like, "I am NOT going to therapy! Period!"
Bottom linefor those of you who read my earlier post "On the fence about someone"
I'm bored.....but kind of feel guilty about this one. Should you leave a guy who bores you?
It's comfortable, but there is no passion. I guess I am not the type of person who craves romance and all that, but I can't help thinking of that song by 10cc, "I'm Not In Love" (Tori Amos also did a cover of it btw, but that is another story)
The ex-wife is NOT living in the house and has been living in Columbus for the past 3-6 months. If she was still living with him, I KNOW I would be chewing him out and probably leaving, and you wouldn't be reading this post) I'd tell him str8 up that her *ss has got to go. Also the exwife's cousin has been by recently to cart off some of her stuff.
We don't have a whole lot of sex, btw....maybe once a week or every two weeks at best?
What is keeping me here? You might ask??
I must as Dr Laura puts it lack courage. My social network is pretty limited as it is, so I don't have that many friends to lean on. Its pretty hard to walk away from a relationship that is unsatisfactory when you don't feel like you have much of a support system, I guess....And going back out and hitting the singles' scene? I start to cringe. It may not be that bad, but when I turn on the TV and listen I hear about partners cheating, or abusive men, or some other much worse scenario....and I find myself thinking, maybe this is as good as it gets. I don't have an abusive, dishonest, cheating, etc, etc., kind of guy, at least, right? I don't have children by him, and don't have financial ties. We do not live together.
Women, would you stay in a relationship that is comfortable and all that, with little or no drama, because you like me, fear the unknown, or do you finally decide to end it??
I pray about it sometimes....I have asked God "If you feel this (this guy) is part of your plan and its right, open the door for us, if not,close the door" Somebody once told me to pray like that....
My September 1st deadline still stays. I WILL put my foot down about some things....
I'm considering putting up one of those ads on Plenty of Fish that says "Looking for friends.....bored and unhappy"
His brother dates on-line and hangs around the POF site. He would probably point me out, and the gig would be up. And I'd feel incredibly bad for being dishonest....
But the big flag for me is the therapy thing. If you have mentioned to him that you are going because of relationship concerns, and he does not want to go, it means that ....he does not care what the end result is.
Lets summarize. You are bored, he does not care, you rarely have sex, but you are staying together because, well, you don't have a big social life.
Let me say that this is certainly not the way to develop a good social life.
Any relationship needs POSITIVE aspects. You have listed a bunch of negative ones, plus inertia and ennui.
Get out now. It will be much less painful than the inevitable breakup years in the future.
You are in couples counseling even before the wedding? You are bored and don't have sex with him? And you're considering posting on an online dating site? I think you know the answer here. Spare yourself years of quiet desperation and an expensive divorce.
"Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company" ~ George Washington
I would never marry someone if I thought we needed couples therapy. That, plus the lack of sex (which is going to dwindle even more so) plus there's some ex-wife drama too? Come on, why are you even on the fence about this?
Before you do anything to advertise for another man for a relationship, you need to work on yourself. Get rid of this man that does nothing for you. If you're bored and unhappy, you need to let him go so he can find someone else. You seem to have deeper issues and right now a relationship would not help you.
Even though God does answer our prayers, you need to help yourself. God helps those that help themselves.
Get yourself straight first and then you can find a female friend and a male companion.
You need to have some faith in yourself...you need to believe that you're attractive and interesting and able to find someone, not just to settle for the boring guy you've already got. It's hard in your 30's because it seems like everyone else is married and popping out kid after kid and I've seen some of my friends settle for Mr. Right There rather than Mr. Right (to put it in a very corny way). That never ends well.
I'm about to celebrate my 14th anniversary. Let me tell you a secret...a man doesn't get more interesting and more fun after marriage. He doesn't want to have sex more often after marriage. What you see when you're dating him is the best behavior you're ever going to get out of him. There may be a slight increase in sex when you move in together, because of convenience, but it will decrease within six months after the wedding. For the average man, marriage means having someone to do those pesky chores like cooking and cleaning so that he has more free time to watch tv (or do his hobby of choice). At least marry a man who's fascinating and extremely sexy to you, because then when he's sitting like a lump on the couch with the remote parked on his stomach and his hand down his shorts, you'll be able to look back and remember all the things that made you fall in love with him, and you'll have something to get you through the dull spots that are just part of a marriage.
So if you're already bored and feeling like you don't get enough sex, marriage to this man is not the answer.
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He's like, "I am NOT going to therapy! Period!" 
for those of you who read my earlier post "On the fence about someone"
) I'd tell him str8 up that her *ss has got to go.
Also the exwife's cousin has been by recently to cart off some of her stuff.
And futhermore...
