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It hasn't yet for us or for people I know. I hand over my Victoria Secret catalogs to my husband.
I do know of one couple who had a spat over porn. It was on VHS, the husband left it in the player and the wife found it. She pulled all the tape out and said "This is the house of God!" I think the video belonged to his buddy and it was very expensive from what I remember. I was still a teenager at the time.
Me, too! And the Frederick's of Hollywood catalogs, too!
The hubby and I have often spent long periods of time apart from each other. I used to get upset about the dirty mags and the porn. It was just because I have my own body issues and insecurities. Later, I told him that I'd rather him watch porn than look at a mag - because I'd rather him get turned on by watching the act of sex than by simply looking at another woman's body. Now - I could care less. Our sex life is great. Porn can be enjoyable. And our marraige is amazing!
Unless there's an addiction involved or one partner is preferring porn to sex with their partner, what's the problem? I see thousands of posts about "porn ruining my marriage!" all over the Internet.
Most people look at porn occasionally. If it's adversely affecting your marriage/relationship, then it's a problem. If it's just to get off quickly, no big deal.
And I'm amused that many people here seem to think only men look at porn or get off on it. Plenty of women do too.
Me, too! And the Frederick's of Hollywood catalogs, too!
The hubby and I have often spent long periods of time apart from each other. I used to get upset about the dirty mags and the porn. It was just because I have my own body issues and insecurities. Later, I told him that I'd rather him watch porn than look at a mag - because I'd rather him get turned on by watching the act of sex than by simply looking at another woman's body. Now - I could care less. Our sex life is great. Porn can be enjoyable. And our marraige is amazing!
LOL! My husband knows when it has been too long between catalogs.
I don't think porn, in and of itself, causes divorce. I have watched a couple of porn movies, years ago, but I just couldn't get past the bad acting and silliness of it. My current beau has certainly enjoyed porn in the past (before me), and I couldn't tell you if he still watches it. Frankly I don't think he has the time, but it's certainly possible.
Sex has always been an important part of a relationship to me, but I've never dated anyone that spent any time watching porn, that I knew about. So I will just say this: If I was dating someone, and found out that they were watching porn to a degree that it actually impacted our relationship - and by that I mean that I actually could note times where I knew he was watching porn or that his behavior changed in any way - then it would be a problem, and I suspect that it would be a big one.
I do think that a person can become so accustomed to watching porn that it can have a negative impact on their "real" sexual relationships. I think that some men, at least from what I have read, actually get so accustomed to watching porn that "real-life" sex becomes somewhat difficult for them to enjoy, and they find themselves needing the porn more and more, to even reach orgasm.
I don't see how anyone could think that this would be a good thing.
Last edited by ChessieMom; 06-02-2011 at 06:10 AM..
I don't think porn, in and of itself, causes divorce. I have watched a couple of porn movies, years ago, but I just couldn't get past the bad acting and silliness of it. My current beau has certainly enjoyed porn in the past (before me), and I couldn't tell you if he still watches it. Frankly I don't think he has the time, but it's certainly possible.
Sex has always been an important part of a relationship to me, but I've never dated anyone that spent any time watching it, that I knew about. So I will just say this: If I was dating someone, and found out that they were watching porn to a degree that it actually impacted our relationship - and by that I mean that I actually could note times where I knew he was watching porn or that his sexual behavior changed in any way - then it would be a problem, and I suspect that it would be a big one.
I do think that a person can become so accustomed to watching porn that it can have a negative impact on their "real" sexual relationships. I think that some men, at least from what I have read, actually get so accustomed to watching porn that "real-life" sex becomes somewhat difficult for them to enjoy, and they find themselves needing the porn more and more, to even reach orgasm.
I don't see how anyone could think that this would be a good thing.
All it ever did for me was make me feel like I wasn't enough to get revved up over. If a guy has to watch other people engage as in that, what does that say about the woman he is involved with? And what does that do to her self esteem? It's not a matter of being open or closed minded. It's a matter of having FEELINGS.
Men get turned on by what they 'see.'
Women get turned on by what they 'feel.'
So a woman will say that seeing something isn't stimulating.
A man may read that mushy romantic novel and not be stimulated.
So...If we can understand where each one is coming from then it can help in having a more balanced and successful relationship.
We have to remember we can't turn our lady into a porn star and ladies we can't turn our man into the hunky, mushy romatic man in the romance novels.
What was the question again? I get so sidetracked sometimes....
I do think that a person can become so accustomed to watching porn that it can have a negative impact on their "real" sexual relationships. I think that some men, at least from what I have read, actually get so accustomed to watching porn that "real-life" sex becomes somewhat difficult for them to enjoy, and they find themselves needing the porn more and more, to even reach orgasm.
I don't see how anyone could think that this would be a good thing.
Allow me to introduce you to...ice cream.
...and John.
Ice cream comes in many, many flavors. It can be served in literally hundreds of ways. It can have dozens of toppings. It can be frozen or almost liquified. It can be full-flavored, non-fat, low-fat, 1% fat, 2% fat. It can be machine-made or hand-made.
John used to enjoy vanilla ice cream when he was a child. He would go to the corner drugstore and get a nice big cone with a double-dip of vanilla. His friends thought nothing of it. He was happy. It was all he knew, and he was fine with that.
As he became older and wiser in the ways of the world, he began to experiment. His first "alternative" choice was memorable - CHERRY vanilla. Those forbidden bits of fruit tucked shyly into the folds of his childhood love somehow stimulated him. He LIKED it. Still his friends thought nothing of it. He was VERY happy. His horizons were beginning to expand...
As John followed the path of his life he realized many more opportunities to broaden his frozen-treat dalliances. Chocolate, in particular, was a shock, as was strawberry, Rocky Road and fudge ripple. His friends began to talk quietly among themselves of John's new habits, but he was too busy enjoying himself to mind. He was a bold and courageous explorer pushing back the boundaries of frozen confection propriety.
Then he met Jane.
Jane was plain. Plain Jane, they called her. Plain in features and plain in her tastes. Vanilla was the ONLY ice cream flavor that would ever touch her lips.
They met on a summer evening, at the ice cream shop, and through the capriciousness of Fate the only flavor left was vanilla. They both had a single-dip waffle cone (something Jane was initially alarmed about) and both remarked how good the vanilla was.
Over the following weeks and months John and Jane grew closer and made plans to be married. Their respective friends saw the Great Crash coming but were powerless to do anything about it.
Now, newly married and on their honeymoon bed, Jane reclines primly while licking a vanilla cone. John enters the connubial chamber, in full bloom, naked as a jaybird and vigorously attacking a triple-dip Cherry Garcia / Chocolate Death / Bubble Gum atrocity that perches precariously atop a chocolate-coated cone, the entire structure being covered in cherry syrup and multi-colored sprinkles.
...
...John is taking his divorced status badly. His friends try to pull him away from the tub of pickle ice cream, but his addiction is too strong. He is an outcast, spurned by women the world over, destined to spend what remains of his warped days with his only company that tub of pickle ice cream and wistfully dreaming of what could have been, had he only had the sense to marry someone who enjoyed more than just plain vanilla.
~The End~
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Does Porn Watching Lead To Divorce?
My current beau has certainly enjoyed porn in the past (before me), and I couldn't tell you if he still watches it. Frankly I don't think he has the time, but it's certainly possible. 
