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I'm totally at a loss as to what to do here and just want some input.
A month ago I met a guy on a dating website. We hit it off via email and text and decided to meet the week after we started talking. I can't even explain the instant connection we had. We've been on 8 dates in the three and a half weeks that we've known each other. I don't know how I can explain it, but I really think he could be the one. Like we joke about it saying that our souls used to know each other in a past life. I'm 25. I've been in plenty of mature (and some immature) relationships. None of them even begin to compare.
Last weekend we were out having dinner and he told me he had some bad news he had to tell me. His job is sending him to Miami for 5 months ( I live in NYC). He leaves at the end of June. We had a pretty long conversation about it and essentially decided that what we were feeling was real, but that it wasn't practical to date for like 6 weeks and then be apart and try to maintain a relationship for 5 months long distance. We decided we're gonna spend as much time together as we can before he goes, and skype/text/call/possibly try to plan a visit in there at some point, and then see if we still want to try to date when he gets back.
I'm a mess. What are your thoughts on this? He essentially expressed to me that he had been planning on asking me to be his girlfriend officially that weekend but that he found out about the job right before. He is super set on trying to make this work in the long run- he made the point that in the grand scheme of things 5 months isn't a long time at all. I mean I get that 5 months will fly and if this is the real deal we'll see each other again at the end and the feelings will come right back. But still, I had half a mind to excuse myself and run- I tend to withdraw emotionally a little when the fear of getting hurt is real. And this could be leading up to a huge disaster..or something great.
Let things flow and see where it goes. NO sense in worrying about the "what if's" when life and love are never a guarantee anyway. Don't overthink and panic yourself out of a good relationship over 5 months of being apart.
I started my relationship long distance and we have been going over 2 years strong. Plan to be done (it's work related as well) within the next year or two. I believe he is my soulmate and our bond is just like that you described.
I say go for it and see how it goes. You'd be surprised, especially if this is a temporary thing.
5 Months isn't long. Just try it, you might enjoy it. There are definitely perks to distance and it strengthens your bond in a way being close doesn't. Yes, it may not work, but try it out. If you keep busy enough, it'll fly by quick.
My only advice is to talk, every single day if you can. Skype is wonderful so you can still see each other. You can even "watch movies" together, play some games on pogo.com together, etc etc. There are still ways for you to foster a new relationship when apart.
Why give up something so wonderful for 5 measly months? The worst that happens is it doesn't work out.
I started my relationship long distance and we have been going over 2 years strong. Plan to be done (it's work related as well) within the next year or two. I believe he is my soulmate and our bond is just like that you described.
I say go for it and see how it goes. You'd be surprised, especially if this is a temporary thing.
5 Months isn't long. Just try it, you might enjoy it. There are definitely perks to distance and it strengthens your bond in a way being close doesn't. Yes, it may not work, but try it out. If you keep busy enough, it'll fly by quick.
My only advice is to talk, every single day if you can. Skype is wonderful so you can still see each other. You can even "watch movies" together, play some games on pogo.com together, etc etc. There are still ways for you to foster a new relationship when apart.
Why give up something so wonderful for 5 measly months? The worst that happens is it doesn't work out.
I thought I was the only one who knew about this game site, I got my Mother and brother on it as well.
takes two mature individual to make an LDR work, but it can definitely be done. Of course there some draw backs; you both simply aren't physically together, and things can get complicated- trust issues may arise, miscommunication about things, etc. But if the bond between you two is strong, then you both should be fine. communication is the key in a relationship. gl
I guess I would have to know a bit more about his job. Does his away from NYC assignments happen often? Is he in the position to say no so he can stay local?
If not you will have to decide if you want that kind of lifestyle. It doesn't sound to me that this is a one time thing, or is it?
He's married and his wife got suspicious, so he needs to tone things down for half a year or so, at which time he'll do this to the next girl.
I have absolutely nothing concrete to back this up with, just my immediate thoughts upon reading your description of how things proceeded.
I can see why you think that, but I have lived in 3 states the past 2 years for my work. It is not permanent, but many positions in my company require frequent travel. I don't know the details of his job, but if he is in a position where he is helping to open or close a location (I am again giving an example that may be very untrue), it could very well take 6 months. My last location we hired on a project manager for 8 months and paid for his housing because he was an expert in what our need was.
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