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my feoncia is black and i am white and my step dad hates the fact that im with him just because he is black.
i hate this.
why are some people like this, i just dont get it? can anyone please help me.
what should do?
Cuddleboo,
Unfortunantly many people still have very negative and damaging views of people who are different from them. I am black and my husband is white. My dad was so hateful to my husband, it still hurts when I think about how vicious he was. One thing you have to remember is that we all have one life to live. Your stepdad has his, and you certainly have yours. Yes you want him to accept your fiance, but if he doesn't, you still have to go on about your life and not let it negatively effect what you and your fiance have. Go to your stepdad and tell him how hurtful it is that he is not embracing your fiance and as a result is not embracing you. Go on about your business with your fiance, keep your relationship going as best as you can with you stepdad(because you still love him despite his foolishness), pray for peace, and pray that God will soften his heart. Although things are not perfect my Dad's heart has changed.
Live your life as you personally see fit and don't expect your step-dad to stand up and cheer. It's his choice, as an adult with his own mind, to deal you out if he wishes to do so. It's your choice, as an adult with her own mind, to let it bother you or not.
Are the rest of your family supportive of your relationship? How old are the two of you? How long did you date before getting engaged? Are you still living at home? How soon are you getting married?
Sometimes, you just accept that some people are very closeminded. Don't worry about trying to please your stepfather and just try to avoid situations where there is going to be conflict. If it's just you and your family, and your stepfather is around, avoid talking about your fiance.
Hmmm.... I see from your profile that you are 17 years old. Is your fiance also 17? Well I hope that you don't marry before 21. 17 just seems awfully young to be thinking about marriage. But still love your fiance with all of your heart. Be true to yourself and also don't do anything rash to try to prove your stepfather wrong.
Part of your stepfather's overall objections *might* be because you are only 17. If I had gotten engaged at 17, both of my parents would have been against it... no matter what the colour of his skin, even if my fiance were really rich. My parents encouraged me to enjoy my young adulthood, singlehood and wanted me to find myself before settling down to get married and having kids. And looking back, I changed the most in my 20's and my personal growth process continues still.
I do think it great that you and your fiance are so serious about each other that you are engaged to him. But please wait and don't have kids until you're at least 25.
Do not get married at such a young age because that will be going against you as statistics definetly prove. Another marriage difficulty , often, is marrying a different race . Please get the book called :'Finding the love of your Life' by Dr. Warren and he discusses the 7 real Dangers of selecting a potential Marriage Mate. But please...one of the biggest divorce reasons is because two people got married too young. Marriage is a very difficult, challenging, negotiating , stressful thing and it requires two very strong emotionally sound people...and that comes with age and maturity. Keep him as your b/f
and see if you still want to marry him when you turn 25 (preferably 28). Regards.
I know a lot of people that are 25 that still think and behave like they are in junior high. I'd say wait until 28+ and take a class on marriage and family before!
Quote:
Originally Posted by IbeDavid
Do not get married at such a young age because that will be going against you as statistics definetly prove. Another marriage difficulty , often, is marrying a different race . Please get the book called :'Finding the love of your Life' by Dr. Warren and he discusses the 7 real Dangers of selecting a potential Marriage Mate. But please...one of the biggest divorce reasons is because two people got married too young. Marriage is a very difficult, challenging, negotiating , stressful thing and it requires two very strong emotionally sound people...and that comes with age and maturity. Keep him as your b/f
and see if you still want to marry him when you turn 25 (preferably 28). Regards.
I know a lot of people that are 25 that still think and behave like they are in junior high. I'd say wait until 28+ and take a class on marriage and family before!
I've seen a lot of people that are 28+ that still behave like they're in Jr. High... I say she wait til she's 40.
DONT GET MARRIED SO YOUNG, I DID, AND IT JUST ENDED UP IN DIVORCE, AS U GROW YOUR PRIORITIES CHANGE, BELEIVE ME, LET YOUR MIND MATURE, LIVE A LIL, WHATS THE RUSH,GET THE PARTYING AND HAVING FUN OUT YOUR SYSTEM!! SORRY I HAD TO HIT YOU WIT THE [CAPS], but i just needed to get my point across clearly. Alot of girls, [girls especially] think that their high school boyfirends, are their "prince charmings", they give up their whole lives for them, they stop having fun, they stop going out with their friends, and later on [mid 20s usually], they start regretting it! Then they go out once or twice with their girls,and boom! guess what, they realize "theirs other fish in the sea" richer, more handsome FISH, and the most important thing, they realize that their still very desireable, so then the transformation starts to happen.....like a a butterfly, coming out of its cocoon, they spread they wings and realize, that they were wasting their time, being an old tired housewife.....6 months later bam@@@ divorce city....beleive me!
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can anyone please help me.
