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I met a nice guy, who made substantially less than I do, and it went nowhere because the income difference bothered him. Then I met a nice guy, who made more than I make, and I hit another dead end -- he's close to retirement, never been married, nor had kids, and acted paranoid that I must be a gold-digger.
FWIW... I have a good middle class job. I have no dependents. I live a low-key life, I don't keep up with the Joneses. What the what? Maybe there's a specific gap, like a 'safety zone' that's the key to this income compatibility dilemma?
I met a nice guy, who made substantially less than I do, and it went nowhere because the income difference bothered him. Then I met a nice guy, who made more than I make, and I hit another dead end -- he's close to retirement, never been married, nor had kids, and acted paranoid that I must be a gold-digger.
FWIW... I have a good middle class job. I have no dependents. I live a low-key life, I don't keep up with the Joneses. What the what? Maybe there's a specific gap, like a 'safety zone' that's the key to this income compatibility dilemma?
If she is someone I really care about and committed to or could be, then the answer is zero. The only thing that matters in that case is if the combined total income is enough to support at least the basic needs of life and freedom.
Also, a woman making more money is not something to be mad about or an issue of dispute. It means that she might be very bright or at least managed to climb the ladder of her field. I love a gf who can rub some of her good habits on to me and vice versa. If nothing else, your birthday gift will be nice, haha just kidding Some guys need to quit the uber-competitiveness and pettiness sometimes.
Six figures. When both are at that level, it takes money out of any arguments.
My wife arrived in this country about 15 years ago with an overnight bag and $40 in her pocket for a one-year stay as part of a cultural exchange program. She crossed the six figure mark a few years ago. We disagree on things regularly, but argue very rarely, and money never enters the discussion.
Me: $70k with benefits and job security. Put myself through uni, no big debts, except a very manageable mortgage. Bachelor No. 1 was self-employed and earning about $25k, in a creative field, so if he was happy with that, then I was happy with that; i think it surprised us both that he resented earning less than me.
Bachelor No. 2, a senior professional earning, I'm making a wild guess, $120-$130k. He was pretty fixated on money, so his net worth has probably accumulated over the years. I couldn't even ballpark that though, I didn't know him well enough. He wasn't flashy, and at the time, I didn't know how senior his position was in his career. We were never in a situation for him to spend money on me, I should add, and I wasn't manouevering in that direction either... He assumes everyone else is as money obsessed as he is, though.
Most people will back away from someone who constantly throws their money away. But when is a tightwad too much of a tightwad? (-:
For men, money doesn’t seem to be a deal breaker when it comes to dating, relationships, etc. as much as it is for women. Sure there are exceptions but it is just that, exceptions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi
if she makes less than me, and she wants a divorce, then i'm expected (for some reason) to provide her with my standard of living for the rest of her life.
This is something I don’t understand about American divorce laws where men are expected to provide their ex-wife with the standard of living she got used to while living with her ex-husband. How about having the ex-wife providing her ex-husband the standard of living he was used to while living with her? Which would involve her cooking for him at least one meal a day 5 days a week, washing his dishes, sex at least once a week (just like when they were married) etc.?
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Some guys need to quit the uber-competitiveness and pettiness sometimes.
