Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've seen this girl 4 times and she has complained or been super picky about a lot of things. Although she is a pretty nice person in other ways, the complaining and negativity is getting to me.
Doesn't like the smell of coffee.
Doesn't like the bed in her furnished apartment, too soft and too big.
Doesn't like visible cords on electronics. Told me to hid the cord if it was showing.
Doesn't like the color of her Wii. It's white but would look better with her stuff if black.
Doesn't like shellfish.
Old bedroom is too brite.
Old roommate is too noisy.
Can't hang out with school friends because she has too much stuff to do.
No towel racks in her bathroom.
Her new living is too brite.
Doesn't like the color of her new hallway.
Upstairs neighbors being too noisy.
DVDs must be in alphabetical order.
All skirts must be on one color hanger, all pants on another color, etc.
Landlords didn't clean apartment enough before she moved in.
I'm sure there is more, but you get the picture. While some of these are valid, why voice them? No one likes a downer. I felt bad for her at first, but I'm thinking now, what's the point of trying to cheer up a negative person.
Hey, if it's getting on your nerves now after four dates, just imagine what it will be like after four years. Or twenty-four.
Here's your chance. Simply say, I really like you, but you complain a lot. Can we talk about something positive for a change? She'll probably get mad at you, but if she does and severs the relationship, what exactly have you lost?
I don't really hear anything wrong with either of you, but it does sound like your personalities don't mesh very well. Some men like a strong-minded woman who knows what she likes and says what she thinks. Other men find that annoying. Or, maybe you like that but because you two have different world views on a lot of stuff, you just rub each other the wrong way.
So, if things are this unpleasant for you within the first 5 dates, it's probably a sign the relationship doesn't have the chemistry to make it in the long haul. She's not going to change how she feels about lamb for you. You're not going to want to stop eating lamb for her. Might be better if she found someone more like her and you found someone more like you.
True - our personalities don't mesh well.
I like strong minded women. What irked me is that she focused on unimportant stuff. I'm not cool with sweating the small stuff, especially when I have had to deal with much much more important problems. It's about perspective.
Hey, if it's getting on your nerves now after four dates, just imagine what it will be like after four years. Or twenty-four.
Here's your chance. Simply say, I really like you, but you complain a lot. Can we talk about something positive for a change? She'll probably get mad at you, but if she does and severs the relationship, what exactly have you lost?
True, but I'm not interested in pursuing her anymore. I tried to make her happy, but I realized my efforts were wasted.
I've seen this girl 4 times and she has complained or been super picky about a lot of things. Although she is a pretty nice person in other ways, the complaining and negativity is getting to me.
Doesn't like the smell of coffee.
Doesn't like the bed in her furnished apartment, too soft and too big.
Doesn't like visible cords on electronics. Told me to hid the cord if it was showing.
Doesn't like the color of her Wii. It's white but would look better with her stuff if black.
Doesn't like shellfish.
Old bedroom is too brite.
Old roommate is too noisy.
Can't hang out with school friends because she has too much stuff to do.
No towel racks in her bathroom.
Her new living is too brite.
Doesn't like the color of her new hallway.
Upstairs neighbors being too noisy.
DVDs must be in alphabetical order.
All skirts must be on one color hanger, all pants on another color, etc.
Landlords didn't clean apartment enough before she moved in.
I'm sure there is more, but you get the picture. While some of these are valid, why voice them? No one likes a downer. I felt bad for her at first, but I'm thinking now, what's the point of trying to cheer up a negative person.
Just don't go out with her again if you don't like her.
However, sometimes people voice opinions to spark conversation, so be sure you are not a total opinionless dud yourself.
she is just self-unaware and probably spouts off any thought that comes to mind. i dont think she is necessarily negative or un-fun nor does she need cheering. she probably forgets what she says as soon as it comes out her mouth. you should just do whatever you want instead of trying to react to her comments.
^^^I was engaged to and lived with one of these. She seemingly went out of her way to make my life miserable. I do a happy dance when realizing how great life is on my own.
I ran into her just before Christmas and she hasn't changed a lick. She started complaining about God knows what as soon as she opened her mouth. Some aren't happy unless they are telling another how disgruntled they are.
I've seen this girl 4 times and she has complained or been super picky about a lot of things. Although she is a pretty nice person in other ways, the complaining and negativity is getting to me.
Doesn't like the smell of coffee.
Doesn't like the bed in her furnished apartment, too soft and too big.
Doesn't like visible cords on electronics. Told me to hid the cord if it was showing.
Doesn't like the color of her Wii. It's white but would look better with her stuff if black.
Doesn't like shellfish.
Old bedroom is too brite.
Old roommate is too noisy.
Can't hang out with school friends because she has too much stuff to do.
No towel racks in her bathroom.
Her new living is too brite.
Doesn't like the color of her new hallway.
Upstairs neighbors being too noisy.
DVDs must be in alphabetical order.
All skirts must be on one color hanger, all pants on another color, etc.
Landlords didn't clean apartment enough before she moved in.
I'm sure there is more, but you get the picture. While some of these are valid, why voice them? No one likes a downer. I felt bad for her at first, but I'm thinking now, what's the point of trying to cheer up a negative person.
Scary thing to understand: At this very moment in your relationship, she is on her best behavior. You think it's bad now, just wait until you've dated a year. Or married. Or have kids.
Mind you, I'm not saying that you have to be a Pollyanna, spouting nothing but sweet and positive things. But a relentless drumbeat of whines about what she does or doesn't like will suck the energy out of everything in life. Soon life will become a joyless slog where all you do is deal with whatever annoys this fractious person. There's no reward in it for you.
A friend of mine was married to someone like this. She did nothing but complain all day. Everything was this exhausting litany of what she didn't like. The capper was when they moved into this new house. This house was going to be great. It was going to solve everything. There would be plenty of room for their kids, a big backyard, a nice circle on which they could ride their bikes, you name it.
A week after the move, I saw her at the pool and asked how she liked the new house. It was twenty minutes of complaints about the neighbors, the floorboard that creaked in the kitchen, you name it. I probably shouldn't have, but I told her that she could win the lottery, build the house of her dreams, and buy her heart's desire in life and she still wouldn't be happy.
Two years later, her husband snapped and divorced her. Today, he's married to a fun, upbeat woman who doesn't treat life like a freaking chore. Couldn't be happier.
It doesn't take a genius to realize that if she spends her mental energy on petty complaints about everything under the sun, the day is going to come when she'll voice her dissatisfaction about you.
Negative people are like a black hole and just suck all the positive energy out of you. I know, I was married to one. My ex was like that and before I married her I scored perfect on the optimism test and when she was done with me I sank to the bottom and it has been a struggle to climb even part of the way back. This woman would be impossible to make and keep happy without the loss of your sanity and well being. I would run in the other direction and unless you are a Psych Major don't look back.
She sounds like a very organized person. At least I hope so with that nature. On a different note, she might be making some of these statements as a defense measure. As in "I don't the color of this hallway" because she's thinking you might think it's crap and look down on her for it, so she's trying to catch it and explain herself before you can.
I mean, it probably isn't the case, but I can see someone doing that (I will say I hate something because I feel embarrassed about it and feel it reflects poorly on me when it probably isn't an issue at all).
True, but I'm not interested in pursuing her anymore. I tried to make her happy, but I realized my efforts were wasted.
Smart man.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
