Reserved vs. Talkative (dating, women, family, friends)

[Wolfpacker]

One of the threads in the Canada forums got me thinking about this topic. Is being open and engaging in small talk with strangers important to you? Why do people think you're rude and unfriendly if you don't share all the details of your life with you?


I'm a pretty social guy with people I know and enjoy being around, but I also tend to be a private person, even with family and friends. I never like the idea of talking about personal matters (dating/relationships/women; money; or even my aspirations in life). I'm also introverted, I hate small talk a lot of times. I'll do it, but I think my ADD kicks in. I'm also someone who will go do or see something without telling anyone For example, I could go to the airport right now, buy a plane ticket, and go across country to California for a week without telling anyone unless they called. I also absolutely hate talking with other people about business and money. It's amazing how personal even close people get about it.

With a special someone though, I am the kind of person who doesn't hide anything and shares everything. The only thing I would need is someone who sort of has that has same respect for privacy in the relationship and for that partner.

Anyone else feel this way? How do you handle it? How does it work in your relationships in regards to privacy?

[gorilladiver]

As an introvert I can agree with everything you just posted. To me most small talk is completely pointless and trivial, but living in a world where most of the population are extraverts, you have to deal with it at some point. If i have something important to say, I say it. Otherwise I am probably busy thinking about something. Lately I have been making an more of an effort to engage people in small talk, I've found that my lack of small talk is a severe hindrance to my social/dating life. I have noticed that most people don't really care what you talk about as long as you are talking to them, so you don't have to get too personal. Just avoid, religion, politics, and anything that requires deep intellectual thought.

And I find it quite relaxing to occasionally turn off my cell phone and just disappear for a few days.

There are some people who talk all the time, but say very little, and there are some people who talk very little but say a lot.

[ho hey!]

Originally Posted by Wolfpacker

Is being open and engaging in small talk with strangers important to you? Why do people think you're rude and unfriendly if you don't share all the details of your life with you?

Anyone else feel this way? How do you handle it? How does it work in your relationships in regards to privacy?

It's difficult for me to talk to strangers because I'm some-what shy and am reserved as well. I'm pretty neutral about it and if it happens it happens, but once I talk I can talk about anything from personal topics (relationship to political without getting into debates) to small talks.

I don't think it's rude or unfriendly if someone don't want to share the details about their life with me. I respect that because I don't share everything about myself to others as well (unless the topic goes there). When I talk about personal topics with the right person, my goal is to understand them and to know what the other person think or feel about certain topic, not to bash them or judge them. When I was coming back from Thailand, I met this guy who happened to be on the two same flight as me (From Bangkok to LAX), and we had a very civil conversation about personal topics without being too critical or judgmental.