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I agree that open marriage is a bad thing, and in other threads I have said that relationships of this nature are bad for children. You seem to be an example of this. I'd like to know, though, specifically how this type of parental relationship caused you to be oversexed and educated at an early age?
That is a good question.
It is a new conclusion of mine, so I am not totally certain it is valid.
All I know is that I was reading in detail books/articles at the age of 9-12 on how to properly go down on a woman and give her ultimate orgasms and pretty much bang her brains out and last for hours and hours. These books and magazines were readily available to me for my analysis while in elementary school. It was not just porn, etc, I was reading scientific journals as well. I was very compassionate about women's sexual needs as a child and teenager. My mom probably shared too much personal information with me, but she was into drugs too, so she was not using her best judgement. In middle school and HS my actions caused a lot of pain for the parents of my GFs, because I was having/taking them pretty much everyday from 9th grade until 12th. My parents were never around to control me, my siblings left the house, and when my parents were around it was a very sexually-charged environment. It also did not help that I was a musician, with crazy hair, and a motorcycle, so I was a rebel. I barely graduated HS. I actually flunked out, but the school district wanted me out so they just gave me the diploma. Luckily both my parents were highly educated (PhDs, etc.), so I managed to get my grades together in college and even managed to get my Masters. The parents were also kind of bohemian artists too, that had definite pros and cons.
It is possible that it was just a combination between my natural personality, and how I adapted to my environment. There is probably no true "causal'' relationship. I was under no supervision as a child (parents never home), I was practically free to do what I wanted from age 8 onwards, and I had no real ''mainstream'' adult mentors until I reached the end of my college years. There is a lot more to the story, but I'll stop it now. In any case, I am still alive and in good health, and I have led a very interesting life thus far (in my opinion).
Am I the only person who feels that way? Or is this a symptom of seeing sex trivially?
I see a cardinal transgression in a relationship as sharing what you share with that person with someone else. Sex IMO is one of the least of these things, or you'd be in a relationship with everyone you slept with (though of course, there's some people who have).
Also I kind of see men as different from me. I understand their need for novelty, and their (generally) more sexual nature. Therefore, I don't see a man sleeping with someone else as a sign he doesn't love me. In fact, sleeping with someone else has often made me realize how much I loved someone else.
I can predict the attacks on this before I post it, but I feel puzzled by attitudes that seem like have sex outside of a relationship is the most blasphemous thing you can do. The worst kind of "cheating" is sharing what you share with your partner with someone else, doing similar things with them (and things for them). And you don't have to even have to have sex to do that!
If I got married, even if my partner had several one-night stands or flings (done safely of course), I wouldn't fault him. I wouldn't desire it obviously, but I would feel secure as long as he didn't share with someone else what he did with me. And I feel that especially married couples should feel this way. He could have sex with anyone-but he married you.
Why get married if you're going to have sex with others? I guess I won't ever understand it, and I KNOW that marriage is much more than sex, but, he is sharing with others what he shares with you, HISSELF, which to me is the greatest single thing a person can give you is themselves.
Live and let live, just wouldn't live comfortably around me...
Am I the only person who feels that way? Or is this a symptom of seeing sex trivially?
I see a cardinal transgression in a relationship as sharing what you share with that person with someone else. Sex IMO is one of the least of these things, or you'd be in a relationship with everyone you slept with (though of course, there's some people who have).
The trick is to keep your sex partner numbers low so you don't regard sport "forking" as normal and don't treat sex casually.
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Also I kind of see men as different from me. I understand their need for novelty, and their (generally) more sexual nature. Therefore, I don't see a man sleeping with someone else as a sign he doesn't love me. In fact, sleeping with someone else has often made me realize how much I loved someone else.
You're not married. Sex outside of a committed monogamous relationship can kill you. Don't forget that you're more than your sex parts, there's a brain that is supposed to use higher cognitive thinking instead of gut instinct. "What will happen if..." is a good place to begin when you consider screwing around on someone else. Especially if the other person thinks you're being exclusive.
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I can predict the attacks on this before I post it, but I feel puzzled by attitudes that seem like have sex outside of a relationship is the most blasphemous thing you can do. The worst kind of "cheating" is sharing what you share with your partner with someone else, doing similar things with them (and things for them). And you don't have to even have to have sex to do that!
In my book, the most important physical thing you can share with someone else is your sex parts. The most intimate physical part of your body. If you think it's no big deal I would suggest you use birth control every time you screw around because the by-product of sex is a baby. Nothing like bringing a life into the world from a sex union with no meaning. The child is doomed.
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If I got married, even if my partner had several one-night stands or flings (done safely of course), I wouldn't fault him. I wouldn't desire it obviously, but I would feel secure as long as he didn't share with someone else what he did with me. And I feel that especially married couples should feel this way. He could have sex with anyone-but he married you.
Oh well...
This thread is proof that some women don't mind being sperm dumpsters and sexual doormats.
If you're getting married PLANNING on having sex with someone else, then your marriage is probably in trouble. I simply think sexual fidelity isn't as important as you know, the real kind...
And "done safely" was mentioned in my initial post. People who act like extra-marital sex is a high crime, however, often have the kinds of spouses who feel the need to be deceptive in general, and particularly about their extramarital activities.
And "done safely" was mentioned in my initial post. People who act like extra-marital sex is a high crime, however, often have the kinds of spouses who feel the need to be deceptive in general, and particularly about their extramarital activities.
There's no such thing as "done safely" these days. There are so many diseases out there that using condoms simply isn't enough. Get a life altering-threatening STD and we'll see if you think extramarital sex is okay.
"Sex outside of a committed monogamous relationship can kill you."
Sex of any kind can kill you potentially. Also crossing the street can kill you.
You're far more likely to get an STD than hit by a bus crossing the street.
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"Cheating" isn't always cheating
I guess I won't ever understand it, and I KNOW that marriage is much more than sex, but, he is sharing with others what he shares with you, HISSELF, which to me is the greatest single thing a person can give you is themselves.
