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Especially moving on with another person possibly, does it feel weird or odd initially? But then as you get more involved with the other person, the past whatever/whoever just kind of happily fades away?
I'm in a really bizarre state here. On one hand, the person I used to like is an impossibility. But while I may perhaps be partially stuck, I'm also not too hesitant to talk to or go out with other guys. I suppose as you move on to another person, it just gets better and better and better?
I've never had to do this before. This whole moving on business. Now, being stuck - that I know all about. Moving on - what a new novel and exhilarating idea.
Who here has dumped a crush/love interest (mentally that is) to move on with a new somebody and enjoyed the process?
It's alright. I know how that feels. I've been single since last September and haven't met anyone I like yet. I want to meet more guys and give them a chance, but I feel like I don't have a lot of confidence and not a whole lot to offer either.
Im over my ex but no one I like has come along. But the key is to keep an open mind and try to meet different guys.
Who here has dumped a crush/love interest (mentally that is) to move on with a new somebody and enjoyed the process?
Gimme lots of encouragement people!
Sorry, can't say I enjoy either the break-ups (even if I have initiated them) or the "processes" after them. A part of you dies. You can't talk much about it or share pictures of it as if this period of time didn't exist. Hopes and dreams die. It's an all-around funeral in my book. I like the concept of "forever and ever."
NOTHING is more important than that I feel good, than that my life is fulfilling and filled with experiences that make me feel ALIVE and GRATEFUL and happy and content.
any man ANY man upon whom I focus on and end up feeling less than great, is just not worth it!
No ex boyfriend ex husband ex crush ex-whatever is worth experiencing the dark hole that is sorrow. I CHOOSE to be happy. I CHOOSE me. If that makes me selfish, then I'm happy to be selfish. I don't owe him a thing. He was the one who didn't make a move. Even if he were to drop into my lap three months from now, it doesn't matter.
At the end of the day, the most important relationship is between me and Me. AND when it comes time to choosing between moping over a guy and keeping myself happy (even if that means I am "cruelly" kicking all the memories and good times temporarily to the curb).... I choose me today, tomorrow and any freaking day.
My happiness lies within me. Not in things that are beyond my control. Is finding a fulfilling relationship in my control? Yes
Finding a fulfilling relationship with that specific person? No
It sounds like you know the answer to your own question. It's nice to focus on yourself but it gets old after a while. I remember when I was single...and the uncertainty about the future and not knowing was kind of lonely. However...it was a great time of growth for me too. Plus making the bed was easy as the covers would stay in place as I don't really toss and turn or move around when I sleep. I would roll out and flip the corner back.
Blessings of being single...ah the good old days.
It sounds like you know the answer to your own question. It's nice to focus on yourself but it gets old after a while. I remember when I was single...and the uncertainty about the future and not knowing was kind of lonely. However...it was a great time of growth for me too. Plus making the bed was easy as the covers would stay in place as I don't really toss and turn or move around when I sleep. I would roll out and flip the corner back.
Blessings of being single...ah the good old days.
(Not)
I dont think I have a problem with that, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to end up alone.
"uncertainty" or "loneliness" is probably not an issue for me, i dont like to mope around and think about "the future"
We all will suffer from a broken relationship. This is a normal thing but you are right...you cannot let it affect you to the point where you are sad all the time.
I like that you are positive about your future in having a good relationship and that you will not be alone.
It can feel good if you've truly worked through the old business from the failed relationship and are ready in your heart for someone new. Usually that takes a little time if the old relationship was long or if the person was really important to you. But, if you're truly ready, then yes, it will feel like a wonderful thing to find the right person again. I agree with Sierra that the memory of the time you were with the old person may always be tinged with some sadness. That's true in a lot of cases, I think. But, you'll have a new chapter of your life to write as well.
Especially moving on with another person possibly, does it feel weird or odd initially? But then as you get more involved with the other person, the past whatever/whoever just kind of happily fades away?
I'm in a really bizarre state here. On one hand, the person I used to like is an impossibility. But while I may perhaps be partially stuck, I'm also not too hesitant to talk to or go out with other guys. I suppose as you move on to another person, it just gets better and better and better?
I've never had to do this before. This whole moving on business. Now, being stuck - that I know all about. Moving on - what a new novel and exhilarating idea.
Who here has dumped a crush/love interest (mentally that is) to move on with a new somebody and enjoyed the process?
Gimme lots of encouragement people!
Nice topic. Seeking answers to this question as well.
It sounds like you know the answer to your own question. It's nice to focus on yourself but it gets old after a while. I remember when I was single...and the uncertainty about the future and not knowing was kind of lonely. However...it was a great time of growth for me too. Plus making the bed was easy as the covers would stay in place as I don't really toss and turn or move around when I sleep. I would roll out and flip the corner back.
Blessings of being single...ah the good old days.
(Not)
I want to thank you for writing the bolded as I know exactly what you mean. When you are single, people always tell you, focus on yourself, enjoy your freedom, try to grow, do this and do that. They don't realize that it does get old after a while, and at the end of the day, you want a person, a person to share life and intimacies with. No amount of working on yourself will quench that desire. We are human and we are social beings.
Also, the point you made about uncertainty about the future, is also really big. If every single was certain he/she will meet the woman/man of his/her dreams... If every single was 100% sure that he/she will be partnered then it would be easy to not worry and relax.
However, we all know it's not certain. Some people never get partnered in life, not to talk of meeting "the one". It is this uncertainty (among others) that makes singles freak out and worry and also makes the single phase, not that enjoyable.
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