When do you throw in the towel on Online Dating? (women, singles)
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I've done online dating for a quite a while and I've had a couple relationships result from them. I used match.com for a full year, but my last relationship I found her on OKCupid. I just recently started making an effort on OKCupid and I'm disappointed with the results. I've had many review my profile, I've tweaked it a couple times, I have good pictures, people have told me I'm fairly attractive (though I'm not tall, only 5'8").
I read their profiles, I send emails commenting on specific things the women mentioned, I point out common interests, and I ask them a few questions about themselves.
I've sent out about 50 emails in the last couple weeks to women that I was rated 80% match or higher with and I only got 1 response, in which she didn't respond to my second email.
I'm really ready to just give it up. I won't go back to paying money for this as I just feel like it's not worth it. I remember online dating being hard and I know women get a lot of emails, but I don't remember getting ZERO possibilities from it like I am now.
I realize that sometimes online dating just doesn't work for some people and it's not meant for everyone...should I just walk away and give it up? I've been meeting people outside of the online dating world and got a couple phone numbers but they never returned my call either so I deleted them. I know it's a numbers game and I should just keep at it, but I have to admit: it's getting really hard to stay optimistic. I don't remember ever having so much trouble before.
I've done online dating for a quite a while and I've had a couple relationships result from them. I used match.com for a full year, but my last relationship I found her on OKCupid. I just recently started making an effort on OKCupid and I'm disappointed with the results. I've had many review my profile, I've tweaked it a couple times, I have good pictures, people have told me I'm fairly attractive (though I'm not tall, only 5'8").
I read their profiles, I send emails commenting on specific things the women mentioned, I point out common interests, and I ask them a few questions about themselves.
I've sent out about 50 emails in the last couple weeks to women that I was rated 80% match or higher with and I only got 1 response, in which she didn't respond to my second email.
I'm really ready to just give it up. I won't go back to paying money for this as I just feel like it's not worth it. I remember online dating being hard and I know women get a lot of emails, but I don't remember getting ZERO possibilities from it like I am now.
I realize that sometimes online dating just doesn't work for some people and it's not meant for everyone...should I just walk away and give it up? I've been meeting people outside of the online dating world and got a couple phone numbers but they never returned my call either so I deleted them. I know it's a numbers game and I should just keep at it, but I have to admit: it's getting really hard to stay optimistic. I don't remember ever having so much trouble before.
OP, I've been in your shoes. I see from your zip code (on your profile) that you're in the Chicago area. With the huge pool of online dating folks in that area, I'm really surprised you're not getting more hits. I'm in NWI and get matched with men from Chi-town all the time.
I started online dating at the end of June last year, with mixed results. Didn't like most of my dates; had a couple that were good for a while. Was just about to give up at the one-year mark a few weeks ago and then heard of a relatively new dating site that's more specific to my demographic. Tried it, liked it, joined on July 5th and have had several good connections already. One in particular I really like, and we've already gone out twice; both excellent dates. Looks promising.
So, my advice is, if you're serious about finding someone, keep trying and keep your options open. It's true that many of the people on the sites, especially the free ones, are just messing around and are not serious about finding a significant other. But there are some of us out there who are sincere and there for the right reasons. Keep looking online and irl. Something good may happen when you least expect it!
I'd try other venues honestly. I'm in a similar situation (although I haven't had any relationships from online dating, but I've also only been on OKC). I send emails to lots of women who are all supposedly excellent matches. Most of them definitely get the messages because they view my profile. And then it ends there, they don't even have the courtesy to tell you "no thanks."
Have you considered using Match again? I feel like those paid sites are better because people have a bit more 'skin in the game,' namely their money.
Your results sounds similar to mine. I don't know why it's so difficult to at least get a conversation going. Paid sites, free sites, doesn't seem to matter much either way.
I too have been (am currently) in the same situation, and my stand is, that the alternatives are worse.
I'm not into hitting the current versions of the Meat Markets, nor am I religious enough to utilize church groups. And my work offers very little opportunity to meet suitable women.
At least with on-line, you can do some pre-filtering that you can't in person. Screen out smokers, those who are separated but not yet divorced, etc. (Assuming, just like in person, that they aren't lying).
The only suggestion I'd add is force yourself to get out and join some groups. I located several MeetUp groups (some for singles, some not dedicated for singles, but for activities I still like). And now I'm pushing myself out to go to as many as practical.
I realize that sometimes online dating just doesn't work for some people and it's not meant for everyone...should I just walk away and give it up? I've been meeting people outside of the online dating world and got a couple phone numbers but they never returned my call either so I deleted them. I know it's a numbers game and I should just keep at it, but I have to admit: it's getting really hard to stay optimistic. I don't remember ever having so much trouble before.
I've been doing online dating for about 7 years now and since I haven't found a husband yet, I'd say it's been mostly unsuccessful. I think about giving up sometimes too, but I never really meet people in my day to day life, so I feel like it'd be better for me to just keep doing it. It is very frustrating, I know.
I say keep doing it until you meet someone either online or offline. If it's really getting on your nerves, try to limit the amount of time you spend on online dating sites so that it isn't your primary focus. I know that I check several sites several times a day, so it's easy to get frustrated when it feels like a constant search for a needle in a haystack.
I tried the online dating thing and I've had the greatest pork chops and spaghetti and Thanksgiving turkeys and more for almost 15 years now. Best thing I ever did!
Online dating should be just one of the avenues you are using. It is a needle in a haystack situation (which is kind of like dating in general). Just keep working at it.
If you suddenly are getting zero responses, maybe try a different site, or change what your profile and/or emails are saying. Maybe you are inadvertantly saying something which is turning everyone off?
I floundered through online dating and was not too impressed either. On the other hand, I met my fiancee on match.com too.
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Best thing I ever did!
