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Old 08-28-2011, 12:56 PM
 
9 posts, read 8,918 times
Reputation: 12

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Recently, I met this guy through friends. We exchanged numbers.

When he told me that he wanted to be "friends with benefits" and have a summer fling I started ignoring his texts. I was offended. (What do I look like?) My ex was my first and sex outside of a committed relationship scared me. (He knows this.) But he just wouldn't go away! So I compromised and decided to flirt with him over text when I felt like it. I loved the attention and playing cat and mouse. I figured he'd lose interest quickly. Eventually, though, he wanted to meet me in person.

So we'd meet up in a public place, I'd refuse his advances, and then we'd go back to texting. A few months later, we met up at his place, and finally ended up having sex. The other night was the fourth night I had spent at his place drinking wine, talking, and fooling around. I had every intention of backing out again but relented.

The morning after, he wakes up, and tells/asks me:

"I like you."
"I don't like goodbyes but this is a necessity."
"This wasn't a one-night-stand. We've been talking to each other for a while."
"Are you dating? You should."
"How many men have you been with since your ex?" (He constantly asked this question. He also always wondered who I was with when I wouldn't respond to his texts.)
"When did you start liking me?"

He also told me that he'd find a way to see me again.

What just happened? Why did he say/ask this? Is it because he sees me as this lonely, desperate girl he has to dump before she gets too clingy? (I don't like him like that!!!) Or because he knows that sleeping with someone is very special to me and now he feels bad for getting what he wanted?

Embarrassed, I quickly got up, said my goodbyes, and left for work. I expected to feel bad about myself for having casual sex but instead, I've been distracted with trying to understand how this guy sees me.

Help!
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Old 08-28-2011, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,765,936 times
Reputation: 53075
Rather than worrying about how he's feeling about it, how are YOU feeling about it?
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Old 08-28-2011, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,995,420 times
Reputation: 25363
Run!
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Old 08-28-2011, 01:13 PM
 
1,506 posts, read 1,816,211 times
Reputation: 2759
Sounds like he got what he wanted and has said his good bye. He told you what he wanted before you got involved with him. If "friends with benefits' is not what you want, let it be and be more cautious with your flirting. He sees you as a friend with benefits and like he told you the morning after, he will find a way to get more benefits from his friend.
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Old 08-28-2011, 01:14 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
9,394 posts, read 15,724,416 times
Reputation: 6264
Uhh maybe because you flirted with him over texts and "played cat and mouse"? Some guys do lose interest when they're being swindled like that but some love it.
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Old 08-28-2011, 01:26 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,636 posts, read 35,109,786 times
Reputation: 74056
I don't really know but I would go with what he told you initially.... he sees you as a friend with benefits.
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Old 08-28-2011, 01:30 PM
 
9 posts, read 8,918 times
Reputation: 12
Right now, what I REALLY want to know is... Did he get emotionally involved? Why else would he say/ask what he did?
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Old 08-28-2011, 01:33 PM
 
9 posts, read 8,918 times
Reputation: 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
Rather than worrying about how he's feeling about it, how are YOU feeling about it?
Honestly, I'm in a daze. Broke up with my ex very recently and am very busy distracting myself.
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Old 08-28-2011, 01:34 PM
 
1,552 posts, read 3,175,475 times
Reputation: 1268
lol i love how you claim to be offended but **** him anyway
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Old 08-28-2011, 01:41 PM
 
200 posts, read 329,191 times
Reputation: 162
OP that's horrible I would feel so used
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