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I was raised Christian, so yeah I know the religious theme behind this...but if we can ignore the verses in the Bible that condone slavery, then why not this one?
I ask this simply because I disagree with this premise. Sexual compatibility is an essential part of any marriage (NOT the only thing mind you, but it's important). If two people in a relationship practice abstinence till marriage, then come to find out that they want different things sexually then what?
What if one spouse wants certain sexual practices that the other is against? eg oral and everything else, and the other spouse doesnt approve, can you see yourself going a lifetime? Isnt this just encouraging the deprived partner to go outside the marriage?
What if the male has, let's call it 'undersized equipment' can you women see yourselves going a lifetime with that? (and no self respecting man is going to confess this to you beforehand. Sorry. Dont believe that one)
Some women find sex painful/unpleasant for a variety of reasons...can the men go on without it/once in a blue moon?
Some men don't like sex very much (rare I know but I have heard of this) can women deal with that?
Some of these issues can be discovered by talking about it that's true, but there are other things that you will just have to go through to know if it works for you or not. And no, I dont see people just suffering in silence for the next 20, 30 or 50 years (depending on how old you are). This isnt 1940 anymore. Divorce is not taboo, but why not potentially avoid that issue before hand?
And finally, let me reiterate, sex is not the ONLY component of a good relationship, so if your spouse ok let's be real, if your man is sleeping with you with no intention of marrying you then obviously your relationship was never strong to begin with. I'm talking about serious partners here.
In terms of the relationship, sex too early in the relationship could cause people to develop their relationship on the basis of their physical relationship and not based on how much they otherwise like and get along with each other. (Which will result in problems later in their marriage if they find they are not too compatable outside of sex).
Sex before marriage, with multiple partners, could lead to increased risk of disease.
Sex before marriage increases the chance of having a pregnancy before one is really wanted. (Even with contraceptives, because they are not 100% foolproof).
Not saying you have not made potentially valid points either. Just providing some counterpoints.
For me personally, sex before marriage is a must. If others want to wait until marriage - I'm not going to judge them. But I wouldn't marry anyone unless I felt completely comfortable with them - and that just isn't possible if we haven't had sex.
In terms of the relationship, sex too early in the relationship could cause people to develop their relationship on the basis of their physical relationship and not based on how much they otherwise like and get along with each other. (Which will result in problems later in their marriage if they find they are not too compatable outside of sex).
Sex before marriage, with multiple partners, could lead to increased risk of disease.
Sex before marriage increases the chance of having a pregnancy before one is really wanted. (Even with contraceptives, because they are not 100% foolproof).
Not saying you have not made potentially valid points either. Just providing some counterpoints.
I should have made a better clarification; I'm assuming that the two people involved are involved in a serious monogamous relationship. The question is; since they know (or should know) everything else about each other, shouldnt they also know about each other sexually? After all, poor sex can derail a relationship
Sure...if you are totally serious, why not have sex?
Casual sex bothers me because then I know that this person doesn't think it's something special to be shared by two people in love. It might as well be a handshake.
For me personally, sex before marriage is a must. If others want to wait until marriage - I'm not going to judge them. But I wouldn't marry anyone unless I felt completely comfortable with them - and that just isn't possible if we haven't had sex.
I couldn't agree more. I can't imagine being married to someone I haven't had sex with. I dated a girl for 6 months once and we were great together. Had a good time and all and finally slept together and the sex was horrible. We tried for months but she was just plain bad at it and generally non responsive. We eventually broke up due to the sex.
For two adult people to be in love, what else would you do to explore the time to be intimate and look closely at relationships? Playstation Joy Sticks , Scrabble, or Sex?
But what happens next is also interesting - you dun wanna sleeping with someone who happens to snore loudly, keeps kicking you out of the bed, insisting that she cuddle the dog instead of you or "the morning after effects" the rest of your life unless you can stand it.
I have wrestle and come to my own conclusion to avoid all of these for my own sake. It has serve me well to this day. I'm not going to be with someone who values "sexual compatibility" over who I am as a person. It's important all right, but I know I am already judged by that.
I seriously doubt and christian or any religious person (save maybe the muslims) can say the majority of people like them were virgins before marriage.
Sex before marriage used to be a bad thing now its rather expected. I know I would expect it.
I think that religions have made up this rule and it is completely unnatural.
First, sex is a natural, human, biological event. It's nature. All animals do it. Marriage, on the other hand, is a human-created institution. Just like education, civiliations or governments. It is has nothing to do with nature or biology. So how does one create a rule in which to govern a biological function and then call it a moral sin??
Humans are made to have sex. That's why we have the parts. If you choose to adhere to such a man-made rule, that is your biz but its not the way of nature.
Just my 2 cents.
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