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What about the friendship makes it harder to recover from? I'm trying really hard to understand all of this.
I guess the way I see things, nothing is forever ruined if both parties are willing to really work at it. That doesn't mean feelings don't get hurt or that things aren't awkward or painful. Of course and unfortunately, experiencing those emotions is part of the healing process. But it doesn't mean that a friendship or relationship is over forever just because a betrayal happens. I could see a relationship ending over many betrayals, but not just one. But that's just me.
This is a very tricky situation here...
You are playing with fire, and you will all get burned to some degree.
So the real question is, is it all really worth it??
Without going into too much detail, I will say I was in a similar situation w/ a friend of mine many years ago, and it totally ruined our friendship for a long time, and we lost alot of years...Had we really tried to remain cool with eachother, it's possible things could have (maybe?) been different, but in the heat of the moment, you are dealing with your very real and raw emotions, and as they say:
I feel sorry for the bf...his girl sleeps with his best friend ...his so called best friend bangs his girl then comes over to play xbox??? wow...if I were the bf, I would really have to sit down and re evaluate the people I have in my life.
Last edited by JustJulia; 08-10-2011 at 10:55 AM..
Reason: No need for the personal attack.
He thought about you nonstop because he couldn't have you. He got you. Now the reality sank in that he screwed his best friend and you weren't all he hyped up to be.
The thing is, I told him that was going to happen. I tried to warn him, I tried to break it off with him partially because of that. I know the mystique of the forbidden def plays a role in these things.
He said he had "hardcore" feelings for me. My response: Are you sure it's not just lust?
After knowing my boyfriend's best friend for 5 years, we began having feelings for one another. Last weekend, we finally hooked up. His friend he has been telling me he has "hardcore" feelings for me for a while.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunshineFlower
The best friend thing spontaneously happened once (light hooking up) and ever since then, it has kept happening, even though the best friend and I have been trying to not hook up. I know that sounds really lame, but we have a group of friends that we all hang out with and we've tried (and been successful) at not hooking up but it's been difficult because we both have strong feelings.
Which is it? You "finally" hooked up or you've been "light hooking up" for a while?
How about you be honest with yourself, first?
Stop thinking with your vagina, finalize the break-up with your boyfriend, keep your legs closed for a few months, and contact neither man until you get your head on straight.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunshineFlower
Also, I'm pretty much going to ignore the venting/angry posts in this thread from here on out.
With this crowd, you're lucky none of us have made any "hooking" jokes so far.
Own your actions. You made a choice to sleep with your boyfriend's best friend. You created this drama--which frankly is too much like a current plotline on True Blood for me to entirely trust the sincerity of this whole thread.
The thing is, I told him that was going to happen. I tried to warn him, I tried to break it off with him partially because of that. I know the mystique of the forbidden def plays a role in these things.
He said he had "hardcore" feelings for me. My response: Are you sure it's not just lust?
Listen carefully...
This guy just considered you a challenge and forbidden fruit.
It probably was and is just lust.
He may have even bragged about it to your bf who probably placed a bet that you would or wouldn't do exactly what you did.
This is NOT an uncommon game or happening (unfortunately) in the world in which we live.
P.S. If it is the above, sleeping with you cured his "hardcore" AKA: lust/desire and he is finished.
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Which is it? You "finally" hooked up or you've been "light hooking up" for a while?
