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So I have a question, more directed toward the women than the men since women will be able to see this situation more clearly, IMO.
There seems to be a bit of a double standard in society with regard to sexual relations between an adult and minor when that adult is a male coming onto a female versus when that adult is a female coming onto a younger male.
This is where the gender difference come in and why I want female opinions.
If there is a, say 19 year old male, that did something to an 11 year old female, it is considered horrific, putrid and rightfully so. It's disgusting. As a male, if that was my daughter I would destroy him. Both genders agree that it's disgusting.
There have been situations where the female babysitter (as an example), say 19 years old had relations with a 12 year old male just starting puberty. Since sexually males and females are different (duh), I think the situation changes a bit. Obviously the male is the penetrator and a lot of the times these 12 year olds say it was "consensual." I've talked to some of my guy friends about this and they'll be stereotypical like "Man where was this babysitter when I was kid." "Oh man, I missed out on a lot." It's like other men will brush this under the rug and "boys will be boys."
I can't help but think though that I still find this wrong because the older girl can still take advantage of a younger male even if he says it's consensual
So ladies, if this happened to your younger son, what is your reaction?
BTW, hope this isn't off-topic, what I'm looking for is the difference in the father-daughter relations vs the mother-son relationship in this circumstance, so I guess family falls under this forum?
I would think that's disgusting and press charges.
You're right about the double standards though. Perhaps it's a result of the stereotype that men are horny and constantly want sex, or that it's not "manly" to be taken advantage of by a woman.
it's a double standard, but double standards are normal.
i know 2 guys who lost their virginity at 12-13 to an older woman, and neither seem to have any side effects. they seem to think it's great, so who am i to tell them otherwise?
it's a double standard, but double standards are normal.
i know 2 guys who lost their virginity at 12-13 to an older woman, and neither seem to have any side effects. they seem to think it's great, so who am i to tell them otherwise?
I'll throw this out there. What if it turns out your son is gay and he sleeps with an older man and he thinks it's great. Who are you to tell him otherwise?
When I was growing up sex safer than it is today and peoples thoughts were more open. When I was 15 I dated a significantly older girl. She was 23 but to this day I don't think she knew my age. At the time I looked and acted like I was in my early 20's and could even buy beer without anyone questioning my age.
I remember talking to my dad and when I told him how old she was he looked at me and said these words that I will never forget. "Son, When a man over 18 has sex with a girl under 18 that's called statutory rape. When A woman over 18 has sex with a man under 18 there is a name for that as well... it's called Merry Christmas. Now be safe and have fun."
In today's world I can't say I'll be giving the same advise to my son when he is that age but I do understand that there is a difference. If I had a daughter and she came home at 15 with a guy over 20 I'd murder him and then maybe her It's double standard but one that's generally accepted if not often discussed.
I'll throw this out there. What if it turns out your son is gay and he sleeps with an older man and he thinks it's great. Who are you to tell him otherwise?
i didn't realize you could "turn" people gay.
in any event, what if he is gay? what's that got to do with anything? i already said it's a double standard: that is to say, it's heinous when an adult male does it, it's just weird when an adult female does it.
I'll throw this out there. What if it turns out your son is gay and he sleeps with an older man and he thinks it's great. Who are you to tell him otherwise?
A couple of my gay friends had their first sexual experiences with older men (e.g. one was 14 and the older guy was 20.) Neither of them feel violated and they look back fondly on the experience. Talking to them about it made me start to think differently about the older/younger age gap. It might make parents angry, but if the participants are okay about it, then who am I to judge?
A couple of my gay friends had their first sexual experiences with older men (e.g. one was 14 and the older guy was 20.) Neither of them feel violated and they look back fondly on the experience. Talking to them about it made me start to think differently about the older/younger age gap. It might make parents angry, but if the participants are okay about it, then who am I to judge?
I don't have children, so I don't really have a dog in the fight, but 14-year-olds experiment with sex all the time, whether I like it or not.
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It's double standard but one that's generally accepted if not often discussed.
You'd let your 14 year old son do that.
